Boyfriend trouble

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 1/18/2009 3:20 AM (GMT -6)   
cry My boyfriend, who I started dating right after I got out of the hospital about a month and a half ago, called me tonight and basically told me that he thinks we have nothing to talk about and that I don't satisfy him enough sexually. This might seem a little stupid since I'm only 17, and we have only been dating for a month and a half, but I opened up to this boy completely after I was in an utterly vulnerable situation and I thought we were getting on perfectly well and I was so comfortable and happy until this call. I feel totally betrayed, and embarrased and exposed and ugh it's a really horrible feeling, I've been crying for an hour. What am I supposed to do?! Every time I open up to someone something like this happens, they throw it right back into my face. I've been doing so well until now, taking my meds, seeing my doctor, doing my school work, trying to stay positive... but this sets me back all the way to before I went in to the hospital. I feel like I'm worthless and stupid.

anyway, I just wanted to post what happened so that I can talk to you guys about it...

Your head'll collapse when there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
"Where is my mind? "

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 1/18/2009 3:34 AM (GMT -6)   
ellen, your not stupid or worthless, what he said to you on the phone it means that propably you two are not meant to be toghether, this is hard I know and it will take some time to get over this, as your still propably in shock because of this, but I urge you to remember there is a lot of fish in the sea and your still so young you will propably meet someone who will appretiate you more than him. I'm sorry that you had to go through hospitalization but I hope it's for the best and that you can recover well, keep up doing the good work you are doing, like taking your meds and doing your homework that's the right thing to do , maybe you need to speak to a therapist or someone close about this to see if they can offer you some help or support. don't forget we are here for you if you need anything, I hope your situation will improve as time goes by, don't think about loosing hope or surrender to the thoughts that tell you that your stupid or worthless, because you know deep inside of you that it isn't true. god bless you :)

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 1/18/2009 10:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry Ellen but if he said that after a month and a half then you're really better off without! I split up with my girlfriend 2 months ago so I know how you feel, just try and make sure it doesnt effect how well you've been doing and I'm sure you can find someone else, someone better! Try and talk to someone if you have anyone close you can confide in, that always helps, take care!

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/18/2009 1:39 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey Ellen,

I am sorry and I know it hurts but in the end it may be for the best as you can move on from here and remember what other people think about us is not what matters most. It is what you think of yourself.

Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. We are all here for you and I am grateful this boy told you himself re the split rather then just quit calling or showing up.

Gentle Hugs to you



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40409
   Posted 1/18/2009 2:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Ellen,

I am sorry for what you have been through, but I have a feeling that it is his loss. You sound like such a special person.

Try not to let this effect your progress. Keep focused on school and homework and getting better. I know that it hurts you, but I don't think he is worth it. You are a special person and know that you can make it without this guy.

By the sound of it, he is very selfish, because he would be working on pleasing you, not you pleasing him.

Remember that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 1/18/2009 4:36 PM (GMT -6)   

I am sorry to hear all this. What everyone else already said, this isn't your fault. Karen is spot on when she states that true love is focussing on the happiness of someone else, rather than your own. Your friend didn't seem to love your for anything else than the psychical aspect of it. I think you will be a lot better of without him.

But for now, just try to calm down a bit. It can feel horrible right now, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just focus and count your breaths, and feel how you calm down inside. You are not worthless, not stupid, you are human. You are perfect how you are, please be aware of that.

Take care!
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)

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