Do You Have Low Self Esteem

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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/21/2009 8:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Good morning all of our wonderful members.............let's get out of the depression cycle and into a the go zone.
 
Today let's look at self esteem
 

You may have low esteem if you:

  • Are not living in the present. You’re always thinking about the past or worrying about the future.
  • Always want what’s just out of reach in order to be happy.
  • Do things to undermine your own success.
  • Put yourself down.
  • Avoid real intimacy because you fear people won’t like you.
  • Job-hop because you’re unhappy no matter where you go.
  • Have a serious addiction, like alcohol, drugs or shopping.
  • Don’t trust others.
  • Apologize excessively.
  • Constantly seek approval and validation from others.
  • Neglect your physical appearance.
  • Have a strong need for material possessions to show others how important you are.
  • Believe you are not good enough.
  • Fear new things or change.
  • Have a lot of aches and pains.
  • Are overly sensitive to criticism.
  • Can’t get over a defeat or disappointment.
  • Are hesitant to express ideas.
  • Put others down or are overly crticial of others.
  • Work harder and harder to extract some sort of value from work, but can’t find it.
  • Boast and exaggerate, with a need to self-promote any successes.
  • Don’t make eye contact.
  • Feel hopeless.
  • Don’t want to be held accountable.
  • Lack energy.
  • Are passive.
  • Try to portray a false image to others because you don’t like who you really are.
  • Lack a supportive network and feel isolated.
  • Are anxious.
  • See a small task as large and intimidating.
  • Believe other people’s needs come before yours.
  • Lose your temper a lot.
  • Blame others for your problems.

Most people feel bad about themselves from time to time. Feelings of low self-esteem may be triggered by being treated poorly by someone else recently or in the past, or by a person’s own judgments of him or herself. This is normal. However, low self-esteem is a constant companion for too many people, especially those who experience depression, anxiety, phobias, psychosis, delusional thinking, or who have an illness or a disability. If you are one of these people, you may go through life feeling bad about yourself needlessly. Low self-esteem keeps you from enjoying life, doing the things you want to do, and working toward personal goals.

Your turn, how are you going to build your self esteem?

Let's hear from all of you on learning to beat our problems.

Hugs

Kitt    smhair     smurf       eyes      devil


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 1/21/2009 10:38 AM (GMT -7)   
I use to have a lot of problems with self esteem. But as I got older, I think that went away. But I can relate to all of the above at one time or another.

This is a great topic Kitt, gives us all something to think about.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


ad1
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 1/21/2009 11:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I think i ticked off most of those problems!! Seeing a counsellor tomorrow so hopefully they can help me through issues like this

Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 1/21/2009 3:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kitt, this list is like a description of me!! Apart from neglecting my physical appearance - I am actually fairly vain, lol!! At the minute I am trying to work on my low self esteem as it is having a very negative impact on my relationship. One of the things I am doing, with my counsellor is to write a list of my negative thinking - and then challanging it. I think this is a bit like CBT. I am not always very good at it! But I am trying!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 1/21/2009 4:23 PM (GMT -7)   
wow skitt, nice post. I have most if not all of the symptums, you kind of opened my eyes.. the next time I see my doctor I should be talking about my low-self-esteam...


ad1
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 75
   Posted 1/21/2009 5:05 PM (GMT -7)   
lol me too li, I thought exactly the same when I read it, i'm so vain too! but most of the others apply..

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 1/22/2009 2:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Hmm, I can check a lot of them. But Ady and Li, I am also pretty vain. Maybe trying to improve your outside is a sign of low self-esteem. For me, I am pretty afraid to go out doors without something in my hair, because of what others might think.
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 1/22/2009 2:39 AM (GMT -7)   

its hard, cos ive always been this ultra confident person with tonnes of friends, life of the party etc, despite all my problems, but emotionally i lost my self esteem when i gained a large amount of weight (zoloft related) in a very short space of time. so i have no confidence in my body image, but the core of who i am is confident- im confident that im good at my job, that i try my hardest to make stuff work- but at the same time, i feel like an immsense failure, and i can lie here for days, dwelling and wallowing in the pain of my past. its kind of sad that at 28yrs of age- i dont mind if i have a stroke in my sleep.

let me make something very clear- i am NOT suicidal, and thank God, have always sought help before getting to that point. but im tired of the daily battle of putting on my 'coping' mask and just trudging along. in my final year of high school (1998) i had a '5 year plan' as i called it.

  1. Be married to my soul mate (we split after 3 long and hurtful years)
  2. Be a registered nurse (failed chemistry and never got further than an enrolled nurse. i specialised in oncolgy)
  3. Still have a killer body and be confident and happy and healthy (well that backfired)
  4. Not let my illnesses control me
  5. To have at least one child (turns out i cant have children. period.)

 

and the list goes on. life did not turn out the way i planned and i accept that- but sometimes it is hard to swallow. so now to balance out my plans that went askew, im going to focus on the things that went well:

  1. Happily single, rather than trapped in a loveless marriage
  2. went back to university and got a double degree
  3. i enjoy my job as a high school teacher
  4. my faith is strong, My God has His plans for me
  5. I lead a pretty normal life considering all the junk thats wrong with me
  6. i have amazing family and friends

 

 

it wasnt meant to be this long- *sorry*

Maz XX


            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/22/2009 6:27 AM (GMT -7)   

I am so glad this post has helped many of you recognize just how important self esteem can be to getting through depression.

Keeping my self esteem is a chore I deal with often as I am over sensitive  and then I beat myself up for being weak and I am on the merry-go-round of depression.

This is one issue that CBT is very helpful in working through.

I will be posting more on self esteem...........  :-)

Peace my friends,
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Crass
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/22/2009 9:14 AM (GMT -7)   
That was really cool. There was things that i have already overcome, but the others helped me recognize what I still needed to work on.
Thanks a lot, Kitt

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 1/22/2009 10:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Maz,

I saw pictures of you and you are definately not over weight. You are very beautiful.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


kittysoma
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 1/24/2009 11:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Kitt for posting this. Almost everything on that list described me. I always knew that I had  a lack of self esteeme but I never knew that it was that bad and that it isplaying that big of a part in my depression. No wonder I am so depressed!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/26/2009 7:32 AM (GMT -7)   

Alright, Let's do some work..................

“Low self-esteem is often characterized by an "inner critic," which is a part of you that constantly berates your efforts and belittles your achievements. Sometimes an inner critic takes on the voice of a victim ("no one will give me a chance") or a perfectionist ("I should be doing better than this"), but the end result is an ongoing drag on your self-esteem. You can counter negative self-talk by first recognizing it for what it is and then responding to it with positive counterstatements.

Look for instances where your inner critic generalizes unduly, is unremittingly harsh or makes statements that don't hold up to logic. Then write down a series of positive counterstatements that redress those criticisms. They should always involve upbeat phrases and avoid negative words like "not," "no" or "can't." Keep them in the present tense and always use first-person statements (using "I" instead of your name). Draw up a list of them and practice saying them readily. When your inner critic starts to berate you, respond with the appropriate counterstatement every time. Eventually, your counterstatements will arise naturally in your mind whenever your inner critic gets going, keeping the negativity in check.” Reference: Rob Vaux. Rob is an expert on the effects of stress on interpersonal dynamics.

If you would read this and try some of the suggestions to boost your low self esteem you will be on your way to building good self esteem.

I would like to hear ideas you may have of ways you deal with your self esteem to help lift you up.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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