Dont know what to do

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*elmo*
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 1/26/2009 4:52 AM (GMT -7)   
I just wondered if there was anyone who could give me some advice. I really dont know what to do, it feels like the world is caving in on me. I've booked a doctors appointment this afternoon but doubt that will do any good. I had yet another arguement with my sister yesterday, all because her fiancee said some pretty hurtful things to me at the dinner table. I couldnt take it anymore so i got up and sat in the kitchen. I then heard my sister and him laughing about it so went upstairs and ate up there. She has never stood up for me when people are being cruel towards me, and as ive said in previous posts she has repeatedly told me to snap out of my depression. I thought i could turn to my nan for support but she said i've just got to put up with it. But why is it acceptable for people to be so cruel to me? At the momment i cant stop crying, i feel so hopeless to everyone. I've tried so hard to be positive but nothing i try ever seems to work. i feel like im a lost cause.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/26/2009 6:33 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey there,

I am sorry you are continuing to have these issues.  You posted " I've booked a doctors appointment this afternoon but doubt that will do any good."  Can you turn that sentence around and try to think in the positive:

"I've booked a doctors appointment this afternoon and I know I am taking a step in the right direction in learning how to deal with my feelings"  :-)

I am proud of you for booking that Doctors appointment and remember we are all here to support you.

Gentle Hugs
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


*elmo*
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 1/27/2009 6:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Kitt, everyone here esp you and Karen as helped me so much :) Felt a lot better after my docs appointment. She increased my anti deps and ive got a blood test next week to see if im vitamin d deficient, also shes also going to advise the councelling service that i need to be a priority case. Im going back next week for a double appointment so things feel like they're moving in the right direction :)

I really dont know whats going on with my sister, shes literally breaking mums heart not including her at all with her wedding preps and ignoring her unless she can get money out of her. She never used to be like this, but sadly speaking to her only seems to make the situation worse.

xx

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/27/2009 5:38 PM (GMT -7)   

I am so glad your appointment went well and your med was increased.  Good to know your being bumped up on the schedule for appointment too.

My heart goes out to your Mum. Being left out of the wedding plans is very sad.

You keep up that positive attitude and know we are all here and we care.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 1/27/2009 6:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Michelle,

I am sorry about the situation between your sister and your mom, but I am happy that you are getting things straightened out with yourself. Hopefully your sister will see that she is hurting your mom and will include her.

Hugs to you,
Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


*elmo*
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 2/3/2009 5:55 AM (GMT -7)   
What a week! I ended up apologising to my sister for me getting upset and breaking down over her fiancee being cruel to me. It was the only way for everyone to start talking again. She (my sister) went onto sending an sms saying that she couldnt cope with my moods, so now im not able to say anything to her regarding how im feeling. I used to think of her as my best friend as well as a sister but now i when i think about what has happened i feel so lonely. Unfortunately my sister can be be very heartless most of the time and has the stamina not to speak to us for weeks on end...until she needs money or wants us to run round after her that is!

I've got an appointment to see a new doc this afternoon, as when i went to see my doc yesterday she was so apathetic it brought a whole new meaning to the word. She said when i feel so bad that i want to end it i should make a list of things to do like read a book or watch telly! When im so worked up im really gonna think i must look for the list!!, think it'd be the last think on my mind. She never put the notes in my file to say about the vitamin d blood test so the nurse went to check with another doc as mine doesnt work today and she couldnt understand why i was told to have it. A completely wasted morning when i could've been at work! I broke down in front of the nurse and she explained everything to me that i should put me first and suggested i talk to a different doctor. It was so refreshing to speak to someone who sounded like they cared!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/3/2009 8:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Michelle,
 
Whoa there sweetie.................it is okay.  My daughter told me she could not be around me as when I was sad and crying it just made her sad and she needs to be around happy people.
 
I was crushed at the time but I have come to terms with it.  People that do not have depression are afraid to be around us, we might rub off on them...........LOL.
 
Coming here and talking to us a a good way to get out your feelings.
 
Now remember you are not responsible for your sister's feelings and you need to take care of you. I am so sorry she is not supportive but her attitude is one that many have. That does not excuse her for her behavior but it does tell you to not count on her as a good support person for you.
 
You did not choose depression and you are working on getting help.............I am very proud of you.
 
I agree, try a different physician, one that you can build a trust relationship with. Are you in any kind of therapy?
 
Take care my new friend.
Kitt

Our friends are like angels,
Who brighten our days.
In all kinds of wonderful,
Magical ways.

 
 


*elmo*
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 2/6/2009 9:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kitt,
It was so refreshing chatting to a different doctor,she suggest an experiment to see if the Nortiptyline was doing any good.I've gone down to 25mg and started on sleeping pills. She said she thought it best if I go to see both her and my usual doctor. To be honest not really looking forward to going to my appointment on Monday having been to see someone else.
I was doing ok, I hadnt felt any different, but have just found out that when i phoned mum at work to let her know that i'd got to the train station ok, bearing in mind that my fibromyalgia is pretty bad today and town was like an ice rink after all the snow we'd had overnight had been compacted and frozen that they thought i was a totally joke for letting her know i was ok. Mum didnt answer the phone so i apologised for bothering them but was unable to sms because i was unable to move my fingers, and to find out that they were laughing at me makes me feek awful, beyond awful.
Im not currently in any type of therapy, im not too keen on group therapy as i tend to clam up in groups and struggle to speak like when i went on a depression management course. Am waiting to have one to one councelling, think that could take a few months to happen. Think i might have already posted this but would be lost with out HW. Havent been here as much as i would have liked this week as work has been crazy due to practically every airport in the UK being shut due to the snow, we had people waiting for up to 45mins to get through to us!
Take care xx

*elmo*
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 2/25/2009 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Just when I thought things couldnt get any worse, my sisters fiancee starting mocking my depression when they came round the other day because we had relatives staying. Everytime I moved he started heckling me, it felt like he was watching my everymove. I just couldnt take anymore of his taunts and told him where to go. I was so upset i ran upstair and very nearly got hold of my tabs. The only thing stopping me was that my elatives were staying. Of course my sister thought that it was hilarious what her fiancee was doing. Mum tried to talk to her yesterday and wen mum said that i had severe depression she just shrugged her shoulders and left, saying that i will never see her fiancee again. So now im not sure if ive be uninvited to their wedding?? Same as last time mum heard the whole thing as well as my uncle and both were fuming inside. What i dont understand is what ive dont wrong. ive been racking my brain but have no clue. Im petrified what hes going to do next. i cant talk to my sister as she basically doesnt give a stuff about me or anyone else in my family which hurts so much.

JeannieM
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 2/25/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -7)   
I would take it as a GOOD thing that you will never see her fiancee again. Anyone who would do that to someone in a depressed state to me is a horrible horrible person. I know you said that you thought of her as your best friend but a best friend doesn't do stuff or act like that, sorry. My husband has been known to tell me to snap out of it also but not mockingly or anything like that. I think his is more out of frustration.

I also hope after the wedding and kids arrive your sister doesn't end up with post partum depression or anything like that as she is in for a rude awakening as to what her husband is really like.

My advice to you is go to your appts and concentrate on getting YOU better right now. Don't worry about what your sister or her fiancee say/do and if she does bring him around try not to be in the same room as you. As for the wedding, even if you were invited, I'm not sure I'd go. You said she doesn't care about you or anyone else in the family and for sure he'd start mocking you at the wedding, especially if there is alcohol involved.

Take care and remember we care about you!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 2/25/2009 1:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Michelle,

I think Jeannie is right, if he acts like that, I wouldn't even care if I went to the wedding or not. You don't deserve to be treated in such a way. It is terrible. But remember that it is his immaturity that is showing. He is a small minded person. Anybody that would make fun of somebody with depression is very inconsiderate and very immature. So don't even give him a second thought.

I know that it hurts your feellings, it would hurt mine too. But he isn't worth the pain that you are enduring. So try to put it out of your mind for now and do something nice for yourself.

Best wishes to you my friend,

Keep your chin up.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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