Relocation and relationship-induced depression. help!

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/26/2009 2:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi. I'm new to the board and I'm looking for some perspective on my situation because lord knows, I can't find any myself this moment.
I'm a 26 year old female, originally diagnosed with depression at age 19. I've been on a few meds, though Zoloft has seemed to help the most. I've continued on this medicine since age 22.
This past summer, I moved 500 miles away from my family and friends to follow my boyfriend to a new city. I've started a new job, a new school program (grad school). for the most part, the job and school keep me busy, but I've also joined a gym and have volunteered a few times.
However, I still find myself so sad. I have acquaintances at work and school, but still no real friends. I feel so alone. I havent asked any acquaintances to hang out with me because--even though I'm in a large city--everyone seems "all set" with their friends.

My boyfriend is wonderful and supportive, but he works 12 hour days, with maybe a day off every 1 or 2 weeks. We live together and make time to at least eat dinner together almost every night.
Even still, I've been increasingly sad and weepy. I cry all the time, and I sometimes become anxious with just the mere thought of my boyfriend and I not working out in our new city. (would I move back home? Would I be able to make it on my own in this new place?)
As good as things are going with us, I can't help but be paranoid that he's going to get sick of dating someone who's such a loser who can't make friends to save her life. I also feel bad about making him deal with all of my emotions simply bc i dont have anyone else to talk to in my new place. Also, I've become increasingly antsy about he and I not discussing our future, including marriage. I'm certainly not in a rush down the aisle, but I sometimes I wonder if I'd feel better having moved this long way for him if I also knew we were concretely committed to building a life together.
For as long as I've remembered, I've always been a sad and anxious person, but most recently, I can't keep ahold of these thoughts. My favorite activities these days include only sleeping and eating, too, and even getting up for work or class is a major ordeal. I mean, I certainly have days where I'm happy (inauguration day, for instance!), but overall, I just feel like a big loser. Plenty of people move away from thier families and friends and have even thrived in their new homes. why not me?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40406
   Posted 1/26/2009 5:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Chiligirl,

Welcome to HealingWell. I am so glad that you popped in.

In my very humble opinion, I think you are worrying about the future way too much. You need to live in the moment. You are worried about making friends, what your husband thinks, if you are going to get married, if it is going to work out. You are spending so much time in the future that you aren't having a chance to enjoy the present.

Now this is just my opinion. And I am sure that others will offer some advice. So hang in there and try to live in the now. It is so important to enjoy life while you are living it.

Best wishes for a wonderful day,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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