felt like crying when I got up.

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markofkane
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 1/27/2009 3:18 AM (GMT -7)   
I get to worrying about my father, his age and state of mind, I get upset. Sometimes he acts like he does not know what's going on. He takes Aricept, but has not been officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He does have a problem with time and date. But his memory is still good.

When he passes away or has to be put in a nursing home, I'll have nobody. I got a disabled brother, but he cannot talk or understand.

I just think it's unfair that I have to be left behind, all alone someday.

I have no relatives to speak of, there are only there for a short time, then they are gone. I don't have but maybe one friend.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/27/2009 5:36 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Mark,

I am sorry you are anticipating that you will be alone. Perhaps now is the time to get out and start finding new friends and hobbies, sports etc that you will enjoy.

I agree with you having no blood relatives is tough.  I have my immediate family, my children and hubby and one sister.  I lost my Mom when I was 18 months old and my Dad when I was 39.  I do know how it feels to lose family.

Here are some useful pointers on how to communicate with strangers and perhaps get to know new people which may lead to life long friendships.

Use feeling-talk. You can express your personal likes and interests spontaneously rather than stating things in neutral terms, You say "I like this soup" or "I love your blouse" rather than "This soup is good," You can use the phrase "I feel" or "I think" when it is appropriate,

Talk about yourself If you do something worthwhile and interesting, you can let your friends know about it, you don't monopolize the conversation, but you can mention your accomplishments when it is appropriate.

Make greeting-talk. You are outgoing and friendly with people you want to know better. You smile brightly and sound pleased to see them, you say,” Well, Hello! How good to see you again" rather than softly mumbling "H'lo" or nodding silently or looking embarrassed.

Accept compliments. You can accept compliments graciously ("Yes, I like this shirt, too") rather than disagreeing with them ("Oh, this old thing?"). You reward rather than punish your complimenter.

Use appropriate facial talk. Your facial expressions and voice inflections convey the same feelings your words are conveying. You can look people directly in the eye when conversing with them.

Disagree mildly. When you disagree with someone, you do not pretend to agree for the sake of keeping the peace. You can convey your disagreement mildly by looking away, or grimacing, or raising eyebrows, or shaking your head, or changing the topic of conversation.

Ask for clarification. If someone gives you garbled directions, instructions, or explanations, you can ask that person to restate them more clearly. Rather than going away confused and feeling dumb, you can say, "Your directions were not clear to me. Would you please go over them again?"

Ask why. When you are asked to do something that does not seem reasonable or enjoyable, you can ask, "Why do you want me to do that?"

Express active disagreement. When you disagree with someone and feel sure of your ground, you can express your disagreement by saying things like "I have a different view of that matter. My opinion is. . ." or "I think your opinion leaves out of consideration the following factors. . ."

Speak up for your rights. You do not let others take advantage of you when you feel put upon; you can say no persistently without feeling guilty. You can demand your rights and ask to be treated with fairness and justice. You can say, "I was next in line," or "Excuse me, but you will have to leave as I have another appointment now," or "Please turn down your radio," or "You're half an hour late for our

I am sure other members will give you ideas on where and what you may do to get involved in activities and meet new people.

Peace,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


markofkane
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 1/27/2009 9:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the response, but I lack people skills, am shy, and don't trust people easily because of all the times I've been used and rejected.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40596
   Posted 1/27/2009 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I used to feel that way, but started getting paranoid. So I decided it was better to trust and get used from time to time than not to trust at all. Though I do keep my boundries still.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/27/2009 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   

Mark,

I am sorry your feeling this way but Karen is right and you do not want to become bitter and a recluse so that is why I sent you the list.  You can be an assertive person who can meet friends and go places while still maintaining your boundaries. 

I hate to think of you being alone.  Please share with us what you think might be a good idea for you?

Thanks

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Corrie_1
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 185
   Posted 1/27/2009 10:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Awww you're not alone Mark - you've got us. Kitt's list is great :) A lot of stuff that I struggle with too. I'm un assertive, always afraid that people won't understand or won't like me once they get to know me... and so shut down quite a bit in social situations.

I've just started to open up... and its a slow painful process. For the first time ever I told a friend about my anxiety - and although she didn't understand fully, it did help her understand why I seem a little bit crazy some times :)

I don't know how much time your brother needs, or if you need to be home all the time - but try joining a sport, or activity that you enjoy... common ground is the first start to friendship.

Take care Mark,

The fear of loosing the ones you love is never easy... but don't let that fear cripple you to try and meet new people. People will either like you or they won't - and out of 6 billion people there has to be atleast one half decent one who can see how amazing you are as a person.

- Corrie
Diagnosed with Fibro - October 2008

Venlafaxine 70mg/Armitriptyline 40mg to help me sleep and anxiety

Ativan... when things get real bad.


markofkane
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 1/27/2009 12:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, all. cool

markofkane
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 1/29/2009 2:59 AM (GMT -7)   
For the past 2 nights, my father has had stomach upset. But last night, he threw up all his food. I don't know what's going on, but he may have to go to the ER if this keeps up.

This, along with my anxiety, has me on edge............

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40596
   Posted 1/29/2009 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Try to relax and don't think the worse, but yes, if it keeps up, I would get him to the doctor or the er.

I hope that it goes away,.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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