Friday roll call

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getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 1/30/2009 8:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Friday morning,
 
I hope that everybody is having a good day today.  We got more snow again last night.  I am so sick of the stuff.  And here there are people in Australia who can't bare the heat that they are getting.  If we could trade another, it would be comfortable in both places.
 
The question for today is:  Am I assertive enough and stand up for myself?
 
I know that there are times that I let stuff just roll off of my back and I shouldn't.  But that is just the type of persont that I am.  When I try to stand up for myself, I just get flustered and everything comes out all mixed up.  Making no sense at all.  So that is sometihing that I need ot practice. 
 
I remember years ago, I wrote a friend a letter and I was very assertive in it.  So much so that I had wished I wouldn't of mailed the letter.  When she wrote me back, she was so proud of me for standing up for myself. 
 
I think that a lot of my problem was from my first husband.  When ever I would stand up for myself, he would make me sound like a bit**.  And I believed it.  So I have always pretty much kept my mouth shut.  I guess that way, I don't say things that I regret.  I am a slow thinker too and can't come up with a comeback very well.  So I say nothing.  Sometimes that is good, but sometimes that is bad.  People tend to walk all over somebody who doesn't stand up for them selves. 
 
So think about it and let me knwo your response. 
 
I can't believe that it is the weekend already.  Happy Friday.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/30/2009 9:35 AM (GMT -7)   

I am but I really hate doing it as I feel so bad when the other person gets mad.  I know that is not my problem but I take it on as my fault.  Yet when I am not assertive I feel used by some people and then I find I feel angry at myself for being the whipping boy for someone else.

I am practicing on this one................

The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.
William James

 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

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Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 1/30/2009 3:05 PM (GMT -7)   

Yes and Yes. I am very assertive and i stand up for both myself, and also others who may not be able to do it themselves (my students etc). im a socially confident person so i dont have too much trouble 'politely' saying yes or no to something or someone.

Great question!

Maz XX


            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 1/30/2009 3:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm not assertive but I do stand up for myself and others, so yes and no :P


snowflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 1/30/2009 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Well i think that is one trait that i do not pocess i am definately not assertive at all .For me it comes from many years of abuse and of being put down .To this day i find it really hard to assert myself in any situation and i feel so much for my kids when i see someone putting them down .There is only one who can`t assert themselves and i am so proud of the others who really can come out and tell other what they really think .
Snowflake

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 1/30/2009 4:46 PM (GMT -7)   
I find that it is easier for me to be assertive for somebody else than it is for myself.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 1/30/2009 6:29 PM (GMT -7)   

I am very assertive and always stand up for myself and others.  I do it in a nice way but let the person know that I will not back down.  If I have to get tough I do.  One thing that absolutely gets my goat is people who just let their shopping carts go at the grocery store. I always tell them that there is a corral to put their cart in and then I say "How would you like it if someone let their cart go smashing into the side of your car?"  It gets them every time.  I always shame them into putting the cart away.If you don't stick up for yourself no one else will.

Aurora


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 1/31/2009 4:54 AM (GMT -7)   
i think sometimes I am aggressive rather than assertive & it gets me in trouble!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"

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