well im new here, i just needed to come to a place were i chat. Everybody thinks im suppose to be the luckest women in the world, i have a husband who loves me dearlly and our first child is on its way. but i just never seem to be happy, i had a really bad childhood, a family member tried to kill me 2 times, im not aloud to talk to anybody i know about my life, because if i do there will be hell like no other, so basically everyday i put on a smile and pretend like nothing is bothering me, but inside im so scared, and angry and just all emotions are being mixed together. my whole life i have to shut up about what happend to me when i was little, my husband doesnt even know everything, he just doesnt understand what im going through, and i cant talk to him about it. at the moment it feels like everything has been falling apart im not aloud to work because i had too much issues in my pregnancy, we have to move out of our house by the end of the month, and we just cant seem to find a place to live. me and my husband is fighting all the time, i cant even remember when the last time was we had sex, well thats my fault, i hate sex. and with me almost loosing my baby i just dont want to have any, im scared, but he doesnt see it my way. im so stressed because im scared of the fact that i wont be a good mommy. on the other hand my parents is putting so much pressure on me to find work for dad, and when i tell them i cant, they get mad at me and stop talking to me. they make me feel like i have to do everything for them, me and my sisters dont speak anymore, because i wont give them money. im just so sick emotionally, people get so mad at me if i dont do what they ask. my parents let me get move in with my husband at age 17 and they let me get married at 19, im mad at them for what they have done to mess up my life so much.
well this is me in a few sentenses.