Not doing so well

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2268
   Posted 2/4/2009 6:35 PM (GMT -6)   
okay, so I kinda made a mistake. My mom (who I had stopped talking to) had given me some bedding a while back. Well, she decided she needed it back. So I brought it to her. But then it turned into this whole big ordeal & now I just want to crawl in a black hole and die. Well, that's not possible so I just feel really depressed & stupid & hate myself for getting sucked back into that nightmare. I have been doing pretty alright at managing my negative thoughts but now they are just spiraling out of control again. Why did I have to go & be so stupid? I should have just told her forget it she wasn't getting the bedding and been done with it. I don't know. I'm just such a failure. I don't even know what to do now. I just hate this. Why can't I get my life turned around?

i try. i do. probably not the right things, but i do try. i try exercise & stuff but i start doing the work out (which is really simple) and next thing you know it's like 3 hours later and i've been sound asleep not hearing the phone ringing or the timer on my oven go off (i'm afraid to even cook) or anything. just sound asleep which isn't really like me at all since usually the slightest sound wakes me up. so i'm just screwed up & obviously depressed and now i'm pissed off too b/c my hate-filled family is all talking behind my back about me. mad

oh man, what am i going to do? i'm tired of wasting so many days being miserable. anyone out there in the same place feel free to respond.


Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 2/4/2009 6:53 PM (GMT -6)   
It seems like everyone is hitting a all time low right now...I totally understand how you feel...I too am tired of struggling just when you think your doing good...It's hard to pick yourself back up....I don't have a lot of words for advise....But it seems I can just relate to how most people are feeling right now...I just hope that things start looking up for all of us...And hang in there!

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 2/4/2009 7:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I know I feel the same way about getting your life sorted out...Maybe it's because my b-day is coming up but everything is just hitting me so hard right now...I feel like there is so much that I need to conquer and it's scary at the same time because I feel like I'm starting life over because I've already wasted so much time....I've had plenty of my own tears the last couple of days and wouldn't that be something if it did fix the problems? Lol....I'm coming to the realization today that maybe I shouldn't let it bother me so much because I'm due to go back to the Dr's to get my dosage's changed because I just started my meds almost 4 weeks ago...The waiting game just sucks and the gradual increase with the meds just seems like it's putting a damper on things getting better...Anyway I don't mean to go on about me....But I think it would be cool if we all lived in the same vicinity and we could all be there for eachother in a group....It is nice to feel at home here though! I guess we all just have to take one day at a time and try not to be so hard on ourselves....We tend to be our own worst enemies.
ETA I just wanted to add that I wish I could say some better things to make you feel better! There's just a little pull in my heart for you and everyone else that's hurting because I can relate...It makes me sad because there are so many of us out there but I'm glad that we are all at least here on this board for eachother!

Post Edited (wishdreamhope) : 2/4/2009 5:32:51 PM (GMT-7)

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 2/6/2009 10:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi ladies.

Frances, try not to beat yourself up. You were trying to do the right thing by returning the bedding to your mom when she asked for it back. It's a challenge for me to stand up for myself because I always want to make everyone happy, so maybe you have a touch of that too.

Also, try not to worry about what others say about you. I know it's hard because it's your family, but I know from past experience that family members are not always the most supportive people in your life. There is a quote from Dr. Seuss I like..."Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” :-)

wishdreamhope, I know exactly what you mean about how comforting this forum is and how wonderful it would be if we were all in a group therapy session together! lol. I think we feel this way because as we go about our days, it doesn't seem like anyone else in the world is suffering from depression but yourself. Maybe misery loves company, but it's comforting to know that you're not alone and that other people have problems. I do hope we can use this place to support and encourage each other to realize that everyone has darkness in their lives...some maybe a little more than others, or for a little longer, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and happiness can be ours with a good attitude and a little faith that things will start turning around :-)

It's good to be here with all of you.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40402
   Posted 2/7/2009 12:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Frances,

Honestly the only thing that really matters is how you feel about yourself and you are a wonderful person. All of you guys are.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6389
   Posted 2/7/2009 4:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Frances,

Try not to beat yourself up so much as Nightwish said you were doing the right thing by returning your mothers bedding but sorry to hear you had that reaction from your family. It is hard when struggling with depression to not let things affect you and I can relate to that I have been trying my best to beat all the negative thoughts in my head but struggling and finding that my depression is getting worse and I seem to be stuck in that cycle. I have got some CBT coming up soon so hope that will help me out have you tried therapy? I really hope things start to improve for you Frances and my thoughts are with you.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/7/2009 9:22 AM (GMT -6)   

Good Morning Everyone......this is Kitt and not a single one of you is stupid or a failure.  Your going through a "down time" but let's get you back up...........

Yeah I know that does sound imposssible to you right now but when I get down I usually feel the lowest in the morning.........and as the day gets longer I feel better.

Do practice staying in the moment and letting go of the past. 

Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.  Leave yesterday behind, it is over and learn to love yourself for you are an important member of this family.  You are surrounded by members with the same issues as you have and we dod understand.

Gentle Hugs


Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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