keep meeting guys who are jerks

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 2/9/2009 5:29 PM (GMT -7)   
I was so excited over Christmas break in Ohio when a really cute guy I met at my 5 year high school reunion (who I never talked to in high school since he was in the popular group) started talking to me. I was thinking maybe I'll hit it off with this guy and maybe he'll treat me better than my ex. I have been single for 4 years. Anyways, he was talking to me and then e-mailed me on facebook the next day asking me out on a date. Unfortunately I could not go because of a family party I had to go to. The following day he had to drive back to where he works which is a 4 hour drive away. We agreed to hang out next time we are both in town or when he comes to visit in Florida (since his family has a condo here in FL and that's where I am now in professional school). So he would call me almost every day. He never got annoyed with me like my ex did. He said that I never bother him and he would always be willing to talk to me. We would text each other alot. He would say the sweetest things to me. He would say how when he comes to FL and things work out, he'd want to be in a relationship with me. He would say I'm cute and adorable. We talked about alot of things. I told him how I don't fool around with guys I'm not dating. He said he respects that. But we would still talk dirty to each other once in awhile.  He is going to be in FL this upcoming weekend for his brother's wedding and he was going to drive 2 hours (since my school is 2 hours from where the wedding is) to come see me some point during the weekend. We were both really excited for it. Well I haven't heard from him since Wednesday night. During Thursday I began to worry about him thinking something bad happened and I was texting him (maybe a little too much) telling him about my day, asking about his, and wondering where he was and telling him I was worried about him. I also called him twice.. but no answer. Then Friday I texted once, Saturday once and yesterday once asking if he's ok and if he still wants to come visit me. I sent him an e-mail today asking him to please let me know why he's not talking to me out of the blue. I also apologized for sending him alot of texts on Thursday but I said I was jus really worried about him. I don't know what to do. I hope nothing bad happened to him. Even if he got annoyed by me he should at least tell me he wants space and whether or not he still wants to come see me. I don't know what to do. I feel like it's my fault he's not calling. :-( I know guys don't like clingy girls but if I am used to hearing from a guy I like and they don't call me one day I immediately think of the worst due to my GAD. I'm so sad right now. I thought he was a nice guy. He told me he was a nice guy. Do you think he just wanted sex? I'm so confused and sad.
 
p.s. My ex is talking to me again after not talking to me for 3 months. I'm scared that the cycle will continue. I wonder if the guy from high school is similar to my ex?

Post Edited (confusedgirl22) : 2/9/2009 5:42:02 PM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40591
   Posted 2/9/2009 5:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Confused,

What if he lost his phone? Or forgot it? That is a thought. Don't worry yourself sick. Just give it some time. He might have to get another phone. Just a thought.

Try not to get caught up in your exes life again. You remember how you always get hurt. So be careful. It always ends up him getting mad at you.

I hope that your new friend is okay.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 2/9/2009 6:07 PM (GMT -7)   
i don't think he lost his phone. i think he just got scared that i worried too much. :-( i hope he calls me or responds to my e-mail. im so sad right now. we were both really looking forward to this coming weekend and he told me that if it worked out between us he would want me to be his girl.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40591
   Posted 2/9/2009 7:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I hope that the weekend works out well for you and that you and him get to see eachother and have a good time.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 2/9/2009 8:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Karen! I hope and pray too. I hope he calls me. It's been 5 days since he called me! :-(

Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 2/10/2009 5:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Confusedgirl,

I'm not being rude - but why do you still want this guy to call you? he's ignored you for 5 days - to me that would most definitly mean that he isn't worth bothering with - Unless he had a really good excuse - such as what Karen said about losing his phone. I am really really not meaning to be harsh here - but I really feel that you need to learn to love yourself a little bit more. Like I just don't understand why you would want to let your ex back in to your life when he's hurt you so much - You need to treat yourself a bit better imho. Again I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but noone else will ever respect you until you learn to respect yourself.
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/10/2009 9:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Confusedgirl,
I am feeling the same way as Confusedli.  I think you are a wonderful person and would love to see you feel more secure in yourself.

If this guy is ignoring you and refusing to return communication I say he is not worthy of you so let go of him and move on with your life.  It will be his loss...................

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to.   :)
 
Hugs
Kitt

 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 2/10/2009 2:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for your replies. But don't you think it's my fault he's not calling? Maybe he feels like I suffocated him that day by texting him so much wondering if he's ok! :-(

weirdspace
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 2/10/2009 2:50 PM (GMT -7)   
No, I don't think it's your fault because you guys had plans...So it only makes sense that you would contact him...Plus if you both were constantly texting eachother everyday, you would think he would expect it...And I don't think it was sufficating because it's only natural for you to worry when your used to hearing back from someone, so to me everything makes sense...I don't think it's fair that he just stopped talking to you but there's really nothing you can do...Try not to be so hard on yourself because it seems that this is on him...I'm sorry that your going through this, I know it's not easy just know that you are a good person and find the strength to realize it's not your fault...It will help you to move on and get through this to really know that the problem doesn't lie within you! Hang in there!

confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 2/10/2009 7:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks. I still feel like I scared him away though :-( I miss talking to him.

mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 2/11/2009 12:14 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with confusedi just forget about that guy unless he calls with a good excuse like losing his cell phone.You need to stop blaming yourself for everything or no guy will ever treat you right.I pray that you do not let your ex. back in to your life he has proven that he will never treat you the way that he should (with respect and caring).I feel that you still need to work on your self esteem a whole lot more before you add a man to your life.I am sorry if this hurts you but I only want to help you be a better person to yourself.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Surgery to fuse L3 and L4 vertabra Dec. 31,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 2/11/2009 2:41 AM (GMT -7)   
I think even if you were a bit full on - do you really want to be with a guy who punishes you for worrying about him? If he felt you were texting too much or whatever all he needed to do was ask for some space.

You sound lonely! I get lonely too sometimes so I try & keep busy doing things.
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/11/2009 8:14 AM (GMT -7)   

No I do not think it is your fault.........remember we cannot control another person.  If he turned tail and ran, let him go.

Do not belittle yourself for his behavior. 

The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.~ William James

Take care and know we understand and support you.

Kitt

 


Post Edited (stkitt) : 2/15/2009 8:29:08 AM (GMT-7)


confusedgirl22
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 2/14/2009 10:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone. I called him today after not contacting him for 5 days. He answered the phone. I told him how hurt I was that he didn't call me for like 12 days. He said he was really sorry. He said he's not scared of me. He said he's scared of commitment since he's in Ohio and I'm in FL. His friend told him that it probably wouldn't work out. His friend also told him that I'm too cute for him. And I just laughed when he said that because I think him and I are both cute lol. He told me he would call me later tonight. When he does call I'll tell him that I just want to get to know him better and not rush into anything. I'm so happy I finally got to communicate with him.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/15/2009 8:31 AM (GMT -7)   

confused

I am glad you are feeling better and I suspect your feelings of being in the dumps were do to your anxiety over this young man.

Take care and get out now and enjoy life to the fullest. 

Best Wishes to you.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, December 08, 2016 7:43 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,629 posts in 301,228 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151346 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, heelm007.
319 Guest(s), 15 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Psilociraptor, at20148, Hol1979, Butterflake, sararaewald, Loutucky, robby vieira, Huddie, Tudpock18, Present&Grateful, pmm73, ks1905, Traveler, pitmom, Momtogigiandquinn


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer