Would like to talk about my depression

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/10/2009 7:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone,
I'd like to introduce myself to all Y'all. My name is Pete from S.E. Fla. and my spelling is terrable! (SORRY!) I am a regular poster on both the prostate cancer and cronic pain forums and as you can see by my history I'm not new to this, only to your forum. I have been fighting depression from both hormonal and unknown reasons for years. I've taken almost all the common anti depressions over the years starting with Prozac way back when to Effecsor which I am currently taking 150 mgs per day.
Last Friday I had an eppisode which really scarred me. I cried for two days straight and became  almost uncontrolable with yelling and screaming at times although I was alone. I imagined all kinds of horrable things about my wife of 28 years and friends which I know now were totally irrational. Along with so many others the ecomomy and my job have me all bunged up right now but there are loads of other things going on in my life which make it harder to fight this monster now that it's been in a long time. The cronic pain and narcotic pain meds I take for it make everyday chores like getting up and driving to work and staying awake pretty difficult as prior to last week I worked long hours generally over 50 hours a week with an hour commute in the S.E.Fla. traffic each way even with a pot and a 1/2 of self ground Samallian Java a day! My hormoans are also a mess and have been for a long time which I'm trying with the help of several doc's to get under control. I lost my thyroid to cancer about 10 years ago and never really got the thyroid replacement meds dialed in to where they should be. But the worst was after my radical prostatectomy for cancer a little over 5 years ago, I went through the worst 3 & 1/2 years of my life not knowing what was wrong with me and a hoard of doc's, speciallist and shrinks with their barrage meds couldn't diognose or fix my problem either. It becames so bad I came very close to ending my life and if it were not for my wife and two boys, I'm sure I wouldn't be here today. It turned out that the physical stress of the surgery caused my testicles to stop producing testosterone and I had a condition called hypogonadizm. I was at castration levels of "T" when a Doc finally figured it out. I was basically going through a type of male metapause which cause me to become extreamly tired all the time, have drenching hot flashes, became confused constantly, cried like a baby for no reason at all usually at the worst possible times (I work in construction) and worst of all absolutly NO sex drive! Once discovered, I thought it would be an easy fix> NOT! Anyone who knows anything about prostate cancer knows that it feeds and grows on testosterone. So my doc said giving you T replacement theropy would be like throwing gasoline on fire. Finally kowing what was wrong with me sent me on a quest searching for a doc who would help me, I was willing to take the risk of getting the cancer back which at least I could fight, I couldn't fight or live in this state I was in. After seeing a barrage of endocrinologist, urologist, hormoan specialists and internist it was always the same answer, NO! I was at the point of heading to the underground bodybuilding faternity to get myself some illegal "T". But almost like my guardian angel was watching and said, Pete has had enough, it happened! I was at an "US TOO" meeting (a prostate cancer support group) I met a Doc, a brilliant urologist about my age and told him my dilema. He said it was quallity of life issue and no one but me should descide on how I was going to live my life. He agreed to treat me under close suppervision. Long story>Short> It's been 2 & 1/2 years of testosterone replacement treatment and I still have no sign of cancer! The only problem is he keeps my levals at the lower range of normal which I want to change but just can't get him to up it signifigantly yet! So friends, thats my story in a nut shell even though it was a total babble  which probably bored y'all to death by now! I am scared! The other forums are loaded with caring compassionet people and I was hoping I might find the same here. I need support and help. I'm sure many of you have depression that makes mine look like a 10 year old's birthday party and there is surely much knowlage here. Please, if you have any suggestions, comments or similar symptoms, please share them with me!!
Your hormoanal depressed friend,
Pete  

55 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy (Testim Gel)since 12/06 but switched to a higher dose of (Androgel) 6/08. 55 and still alive and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on an aircraft carrier heading for Hong Kong and the other on a Gator Freighter stationed in Norfolk, Va. I am one proud PaPa! 


megie
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 2/10/2009 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
hey pete , just here to give you a hug , you sound like a great man thinking about your family . hormones are the worst . ppl dont understand that men have them too . Well us ladies are worried about or own . Well i am because i am hormone depleted , since my radical hyter in sept. geezzz dont know whats wrong with me , well guess what !!!! you have no hormones , ok can you fix it ?? no
 cant fix it , have bad mammo , but just look up and laugh , cause thats whats keeps me sane
, oh my off too pluck my chin of man hairs !!!! you just gotta laugh !!!! BIG HUGS yo you Pete take care , megie
     You can only change what you can control , you can't change what you can't control .


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 2/11/2009 12:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Pete good to see you here as well as on CP. I also deal with depression in fact it`s because of the depression that I ended up with the CP. If you would like someone to talk to my E-Mail address is listed under my name.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Surgery to fuse L3 and L4 vertabra Dec. 31,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/11/2009 8:57 AM (GMT -7)   

Pete,

Hello my friend, this is Kitt and I understand many of your problems.  I have had depression for 25 years or so.  During that time frame I lost a son to a car crash, my parents died........my dear Father from pancreatic cancer  in one short month when I was 39.  My depression was well controlled for all those years even thow I went through hell many times but in 2005 I crashed, major meltdown and now over 3 years later we are still doing the dance of the medications.

I have found therapy to be helpful as it makes me see how my stinkin thinkin gets in the way of what is really happening.

I have a herniate disc and when using Vicodin RX for the pain but I feel the med really messed with my AD's.

I would look carefully at your cocktail of meds.

When I first joined HW I took the position of Mod on Prostate Ca as it was open and I had so many family members that had cancer or gone through it.  I was thrown into a deep hole by the reception I received from some of the members and nearly left HW.  I was chastised for not having a husband with Prostate Cancer...........I got hate emails telling me to shut up.  It was only a few, but when you have depression it only takes a few and I was fresh from a major melt down.  The sad part is my husband did develop prostate cancer and had a radical protatectomy in August. But the good part is I am still here and I have continued giving 100% to the members and I am proud of that. I receive so much more then I give. 

So yes depression and anxiety stink but we can get through this disorder together.   Glad to have you with us  :)

I am just very happy I have stuck with HW as there are so many wonderful members here and in all the forums.

Have you ever done the CBT therapy.  There is a free online version...........

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughtscause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to
feel / act better even if the situation does not change.

Here is the link for the Mood Gym:

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Please take care and know we are here to support you.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

 


 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/11/2009 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Megie, Mom & Kitt! Thanks so much for the replies! Mom, fancy meeting you here! Do you post here often Mom? Thanks for the e-mail adress, I might just take you up on it sometime. My time is short these days, it seems like I'm working, driving or sleeping. Oh, lets not forget crying and yelling! I am doing alot better today, not back up to 45% yet but we'll hope.
Megie, oh the hormone thing just sucks doesn't it? It sounds like your in the same kind of pickle I was in. They know how to fix you but they wont! When do you get the results from your mamo or do you have to get a biopsy? I will say s special prayer for my new friend Megie. And for the hair on your chinie-chin-chin, my wife has those. She is 52 and was blaming them on my testosterone gell that I used to put all over my chest & stomac every day. She said it got on everything and thats why the dark wiskers were popping out of nowhere! Not that she is in the midst of her change or the big "M"!!! Thanks for saying the nice things about me, I do try to be a good husband and father, those are my biggest jobs!
Kitt, YIKES!! What a story, you are a corageous person! Your plate is so full it's more like a serving platter! Thats terrable about the prostate cancer thing, I used to be on there all the time a couple years ago and I'd say 98% of the folks are great but every once in a while a trouble maker shows up. It had to be one of those rotten people who said & did those things to you. I an sorry for that. Is your Husband doing OK I hope? It sure isn't an easy road for a man to travel.
Thank you for all you've done for Healing Well, I know a lot of times being a moderator can be a incredably hard job, I know I couldn't do it. It's you and the others who keep this place of healing going, without you there would be no H.W. I've got to get back to work or I'll never get out of here tonight. Thanks again, I hope some others take the time to post, the more the merrier, Right?
Your new Friend,
Pete
56 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy> new 2/6/09> 400mg injections every 2weeks . 56 and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on an aircraft carrier heading for Hong Kong and the other on a Gator Freighter stationed in Norfolk, Va. I am one proud PaPa! 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 2/11/2009 12:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Pete,

I am glad that you have come to the depression forum. There are a lot of wonderful people here as you can see. I hope that you continue to post.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/11/2009 12:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Karen,
It's my plesure to meet you and thanks for the same reasons I stated above to Kitt. We wouldn't be here at all if it were not for you Moderators and I just don't see enough "THANK YOU's" in any of the Forums!
I'll be sticking around as time allows as meeting others with the same problems have helped me tremendously since I discovered this wonderful place. I hope we can all get well together>
Your new Friend,
Pete
56 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy> new 2/6/09> 400mg injections every 2weeks . 56 and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on an aircraft carrier heading for Hong Kong and the other on a Gator Freighter stationed in Norfolk, Va. I am one proud PaPa! 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40568
   Posted 2/11/2009 2:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Pete,

Thank you, that means a lot to me. I think you all give me way too much credit though. I often am not sure of what to say to people, though I do try to put myself in their position when they do post a problem. It is still hard. I try to think of what my counselor would say to me, if it was me with the problem. But I think inside we all have the power to heal. I think that often we just need some direction.

I hope that you are having a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 2/11/2009 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   
pete yes I post on this site almost as often as I do on CP. I also visit the ostomy sit sometimes.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Surgery to fuse L3 and L4 vertabra Dec. 31,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 03, 2016 4:30 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,003 posts in 300,981 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151148 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Cary Breef.
176 Guest(s), 2 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Redwing57, (Seashell)


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer