Good Morning avadak
Your fiancée has a mood disorder and because of this you are most likely struggling with difficult emotions: helplessness, frustration, anger, fear, guilt, sadness. IMHO all of these feelings are normal.
Dealing with a loved one’s depression is difficult. And if you aren’t careful, it can become overwhelming.
Taking care of yourself when your fiancée is depressed is not an act of selfishness – it’s a necessity. Being emotionally strong allows you to continue to love and care for the him
Don’t try to rescue your loved one from depression. It’s not up to you to fix the problem, nor can you. You’re not to blame for your fiancée’s depression, and please do not feel responsible for his happiness (or lack thereof). Ultimately, recovery is in the hands of the depressed person.
You can’t be a caretaker round the clock without paying a psychological price. To avoid burnout and resentment, set clear limits on what you are willing and able to do. You are not your love one’s therapist, so don’t take on that responsibility. You may not be in the same country but this is taking it’s toll on your health.
Coming here and talking about your feelings was a brave and wise choice. There are members here that are going through the same as you are.
I hope this helps you and I found some of this info in an article one day and reversed it for my hubby as I am the one with depression. It helped me understand what he is feeling.