What Is It About Me??

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TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/16/2009 11:23 AM (GMT -7)   
What is it about me that I dont understand? Why do I feel the way that I do? Why cant I catch a break? What can I do to get better, to change things? How is that even possible?
 
These are just SOME of the questions Im asking myself. I dont know what it is, but lately I have been completely dead. Thats the only way I can explain it. I dont feel ALIVE. Thats really the only way I can explain it...
 
I talked to my guy friend. I didnt want to talk about it, but he always WANTS to know and help. So, I talked to him. Thats how I explained it. I feel lifeless. I dont feel happy at all. I feel angry with myself. I feel angry with the people around me for not noticing my pain. I feel like I have tried my options and nothing has worked. I talked ot my counselor, to my teacher, to my friends...I did the whole self harm thing. None of that helped.  Im not sure if saying this is against the rules(mods can delete if they feel the need), but now I have started over-medicating. Not to like hurt myself. Only because it calms me down and mellows me out. But, I actually find myself going through the medicine cabinet. I think to myself, what kind of person does this? Ya know...
 
I cant help it. I feel so lifeless and gone. Past what can ever regain life. I cant even stay in my room anymore. Something about it makes me feel depressed and alone. I even have a puppy in there. She chews and plays with toys and sleeps in my bed, she doesnt mind. But, I go home from school & go to my lil brothers room. I stay in there alot. I feel not so alone and safer. I feel I am less likely to do anything to myself.
 
But, last night was bad. His girlfriend had to go to the hospital and he was really upset and worried. So I stayed with him all night and waited on phone calls. She has appendicitis. Most likely surgery today. I talked to him and promised to take him to the hospital after school. I feel really bad for him because our family isnt very 'caring'. We dont express it much, but for him to care so much for her makes me kind of proud of him. So..
 
Anyways...I spent all weekend with my friend. He spent the night all weekend. And we went to a nearby bridge and just hung out and went to eat. He kept my mind off things, but at the same time made me wonder about things. Im in such a horrible mood. He's trying to talk me into telling someone. I dont have the heart to tell my parents. I cant imagine there reaction if I told them the truth.
 
But, maybe its time. I have my friend and brother for support. He told me he hated what I did and he didnt understand why I would want to do that. It made me feel like Im disappointing him. I should be setting a good example for him. But, he understands because I think he's unhappy as well. I think most people that live in my house are.
 
Im thinking of going to the school counselor again. But, Im just not sure. I really just want to cry..and sleep. I was up all night with my brother then had to come to school. Im so exhausted and drained. I want to cry because of what I've done and how I feel.
 
I suppose Im only "blogging" how I feel or what Im thinking. I dont expect anything in return, I just needed to get this out.
Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 2/16/2009 11:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Christi,

I really think you need an increase in your meds. Talk to your doctor about that. If taking an extra one is helping you, then that is what you need.

I am proud of you for taking your brother to the hospital. You are taking over the nurturing that you aren't getting from your parents. That is so cool.

I think that you do need to talk to counselor. But try the med increase with your doctor. It really sounds like that will help you.

I want to make this longer, but have to run. So take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. No more self harm, okay? You are too special to be doing that.

Take care my friend.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/16/2009 12:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I suppose maybe a med change would help. I am going to try to get a doctors appointment.

I dont take extra of my Lyrica or Paxil.

Yes, I have kind of taken over that. I stay with him alot. And sometimes we talk about things. He can talk to me cuz he knows my mom wont listen or react well or she will not believe him so....he comes to me. Which I also think is cool. I like it because I've always wished we could be close.

I cant make any promises. Ive done it 3 times in the past 2 weeks. But I do tell a friend and my brother. And I go stay with him in his room, just in case. But, I will try my best.

thanks
Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/16/2009 1:18 PM (GMT -7)   

Christi,

Please remember that you are special and that you are not in your best place right now so get to that counselor.  I did read what you posted and you know we are not professionals, to not be able to promise makes all of us very afraid for you.

We can support you but only you can take the steps to help yourself get better.

I know it is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel so often but it is there and it is shining brightly, we are holding the candles to light your way.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/17/2009 7:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt, I didnt get to see her yesterday. She told me to come by this morning, but Im scared to go. I dont know where to start talking. I cant tell her about the worst part because she would have to tell my parents and get other people involved. I am VERY afraid of anyone else finding out. I cant imagine how my parents or anyone would react.

My not being able to promise is simply because I walk through the house and I see things on my dresser and it I think to myself "go ahead, just take some, you'll feel better". So NOT the truth! I take too much, and thats bad. But, I dont take a dangerous amount that would seriously hurt me. Please dont think that. I dont wish to think about that myself, so... I just dont make promises that I could even possibly break. I will promise that I will not end things. I can do that.

Thanks Kitt. There are just some turns in my tunnel..so, Im not able to see the light. But, Im sure I will get there some day. thanks
Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/17/2009 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning Christi,
 
Thank you for your honesty in explaining your feelings to me.
 
When I was in therapy I was worried about what I would say also as the questions they toss out are tough..........it is so hard to explain your feelings to some else.
 
I finally quit thinking about what I would say and waited until I got to the session and then just talked, sometimes I just cried or could not think of an answer to the question.
I often felt so very sad just knowing I needed to go to therapy.
 
I still have a rough day on the days I see my Pdoc.  It seems like I am on this rollercoaster for life but I will not give up and I am proud of you for not giving up either.
 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt
 
 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/17/2009 11:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt, your welcome. Im really trying to be honest about everything. I know its not good to hold things in. So, Im just trying to express everything.

I did it. I went and talked to the counselor. I told her alot more than I normally would have, so thats good. She gave me alot to think about. Some of what she said wasnt helpful. But, I think she was following me more than normal when I was explaining how I feel. I spent about an hour talking to her I suppose, but I just wrote her a note explaining a bit more, while Im feeling it. I am going to give it to her after school so, that way we will be able to talk about it more some other time. I feel like maybe talking more this time will help.

Im also going to try to make an appointment with my doctor to talk about my meds and see about switching or adding, or whatever, just something that will help.

Well, lunch time here at school so, I better get going. But, I will be on chat when I get back. Thanks
Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/18/2009 7:02 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey, some news: I wrote my counselor a note about some stuff and gave it to her. We are suppose to talk about it sometime. I also asked my mom to make me a doc appt. so that I can change, add to, or take away my meds because they arent helping. I also gave her the number of a professional counselor that I want to try. I told her to call and see about the insurance and such so that I would know if I could go or not.

Im not sure if she did what she was supposed to, but I wont let her forget. The point is, I took that step. And it was easier than I thought it would be. I think I just have so much built up inside that its more powerful than my fear of talking about it! So...I did it.

Hopefully this will get the ball rolling and help will become more available. Thanks to you guys!


Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 2/18/2009 7:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Christi,

I am so proud of you. You are becoming assertive. That is good. You knew what you needed to do and you did it. I wish that at your age, I would of had a brain like yours. And the strength to do what I knew needed to be done. Instead I ran from it. It was easier at the time and to be honest, I don't think I knew any better. But I can't complain, I like the person that I turned out to be.

Kudos to you my dear friend. You are definately on the road to recovery. One step at a time...

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/18/2009 9:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, I was afraid at first...but something is just in me now and Im a little different from when I first started dealing with this. I went back to the counselor this morning, she said I did exactly what she was going to suggest I do! That means Im doing good! I asked my mom for the appt. and hopefully she will get on it and maybe something will happen for the better.

I am feeling a little better now that I have my friend, counselor, and you all beside me. It helps ALOT. I couldnt do it without the support from you guys. Yesterday during chat was AMAZING. It was wonderful to be able to open up SO much, unlike I am allowed anywhere else. I wish the world didnt have to be so silent about this stuff. It shouldnt have to be held in. But, Im standing up against that.

Thanks for the support, I will post the journey as I go! Thanks again
Love ya'll
Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 2/18/2009 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
See Christi,

You thought about it and discussed it and came up with a plan that worked. I am truly happy for you.

I am sitting in chat right now if you want to talk. I will be there for a little while longer. Might take a nap, I got up really early this morning.lol...It is funny because I usually sleep to around noon. Seriously.

I hope to see you in chat. If not, I will post more later.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 2/18/2009 9:57 AM (GMT -7)   
You're doing good,

I've only known you for like a day, and I'm already proud of you.

I'm so glad that things are moving in the right direction for you now-I hope it continues that way.
Keep us posted, and well done!

I wish it didn't have to be so silent either-but there ARE still people you can talk to about it, you just have to find them, and I think you're nearly there. I really hope you're mum rings for an appointment for you soon.

Hugs
Gem xx
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid,  Lofepramine, Slow-Sodium, Azithromycin, Ciprofloxacin, Omeprazole, Tobi Ineb, Fresubin Liquid Feed, Skandishakes. I use PEP device as my physio.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder - then I get scared and run away.


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/18/2009 12:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks guys! =] Smilie!

Im feeling really good right now. I think its because I have talked about it so much the past 2 weeks(mostly the past 2 days!), but I think I self-medicate when I need to feel calm and slow down inside my head. But, as a result, I know that I cant continue to do that. Its a bad thing to do for my health and emotions. I shouldnt have to be silent like that and resort to that.

I just wish the world wasnt so silent. I feel like I can stand up against this for myself and for ever other person my age who is sheltered by this and so many other things. He shouldnt have to hide and pretend we are something we are not. Ya know..its just like most other things in the world. When people arent educated or do not understand something then they fear it. They fear speaking of it. And when someone does talk about it, they dont know what to say, or how to react. Ya know. Im right about that. Its everywhere and if I could do anything, it would be to silence silence. Get it?! I would put an end to people having to hide from a normal medical condition. We all deserve to be happy and to be helped when in need.

Goodness...I feel like I could write a very inspirational novel right now! Or stand in front on thousands of people and persuade there thinking towards this. Thats totally amazing, and I wish I could.

Well, I suppose thats all I can say. I really want all this to be over and for me to be able to speak out and tell my story to the world and help so many other people. ....time will tell I suppose. I have to have a happy ending to my story first! =]
Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/18/2009 5:08 PM (GMT -7)   
I called my doc. office today. I am going to slowly come off my Lyrica, because Im choosing so..

But, the better news is that I asked about my Paxil. Im going to stay on it for now, but he is referring me to a psych! I asked my parents to call some counselors today, but since I have this referral it wasnt necessary. And now this gives me a reason to go to the doc since my mom upset me earlier by saying we didnt need to waste money on my doc appt...but now it involves my meds so in a sense...they "have" to fork over the co-pay! So, this is good news for me!

Im excited... Thanks for the support!
Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 2/18/2009 7:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Awesome Christi,

You are really moving right along with things. That is cool. I am glad that you talked to your doctor. That made everything more official in a way. If that even makes any sense.

I am so happy for you. Let us know how everything goes.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 2/19/2009 4:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Christi, that is great news!
Sorry I missed you last night hun, went off to bed a bit earlier-though didn't sleep anyway, so dunno why I bothered. I'll be in and out of chat today, if you fancy stopping by for a chat.

I am very happy you talked to your doc, Karen is right- much more official:)

and get writing that book, you'll have a happy ending one day to finish it off with. You can always start it now and finish it later:)

Big hugs
Gem x
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid,  Lofepramine, Slow-Sodium, Azithromycin, Ciprofloxacin, Omeprazole, Tobi Ineb, Fresubin Liquid Feed, Skandishakes. I use PEP device as my physio.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder - then I get scared and run away.


CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 2/19/2009 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   

Christi:  I want to let you knw how proud I am of you for standing up to your mother and telling her what you need.  And then following through "officially" to get the support to convince her to get it for you.  When I was your age, I was petrified of going against my parents - or even approaching them - especially when things were going wrong for me.

You are a very strong person, and you are developing your assertiveness and looking out for your own needs at such a young age.  Because of this I know you will be able to overcome or learn how to successfully deal with your feelings and problems before your young adult-hood.  And this is a time when many really only begin their journey.

You are wise beyond your years and you are a very caring and compassionate person.  Keep up the good work!

Cass


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/19/2009 4:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Cass!

Today, I called my doc and got a referral to a psych. I was so nervous because all I had to do was call and make an appt....and then its real! Ya know... so, I called. I know the docs name, my appt is March 2 around lunchtime. Thats the biggest thing thats happened in the past 2 years! Im very scared, and very excited at the same time!

My parents are questioning me more now because they want to know about my meds, why I want to quit them...what doc Im going to see and why...etc. I keep telling them little things just so they will leave me alone. I just say because the meds arent working and my other doc doesnt really deal with it, so he wants me to see this person. They have no idea its a psych. and no idea that its near our hospital, its a mental hospital place. (thats what its known for) And, they dont know the truth about why Im going...so.... its hard to keep not telling the whole truth and have them argue, but Im not ready to tell them about everything...

I am off of school until Tuesday, so thats great. Hopefully it will be a little peaceful. Well, wish me luck, and I will post as I go along in my journey! Thanks for all the support!
Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 2/19/2009 5:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Christi,

Don't be afraid of the pdoc. They are often really nice. I hope everything works out for you. Make sure that you do let us know.

Oh and I like your two new pictures on the forum. When you said that you pierced your brow, I thought it would be all red and swollen, but it isn't. Did it hurt?

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 2/19/2009 9:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Christi I can not believe how well you are handling this.I wish I had been able to take control of my depression and the medical help that I needed (Last year) like you have.You are awesome.It is great to see someone as young as you are taking control of your problems and not just trying to pretend that thay are not real or that someone else needs to take care of it for you.I am old enough to be your mom but I tried to pretend that I was fine(That doest`t work) so you are acting a lot more grown up then I did.Keep up the good work.Take care of yourself.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Surgery to fuse L3 and L4 vertabra Dec. 31,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/20/2009 3:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks

I was taking a hot bath this morning and I was wondering to myself how I would approach the whole pdoc thing...I want to talk about it with my counselor and just pretending to talk to my counselor about going to the pdoc made me shake and have breathing problems! Im really nervous now because it seems SO much more real, and serious now.

Right now, Im not feeling to well because Im trying to get off my Lyrica so Im experiencing the effects of that.

Actually Karen, it hurt less than any of the others I have done! lol Which include my nose, lip 3 times, and 4 in my ears... lol. It didnt swell as much as I expected either which is good.

Thanks for the continued support!
Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 2/20/2009 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Christi,

Try not to be nervous about the pdoc. You will do fine, I wrote a list of everything that I wanted to talk to him about. It helped, but he asked all the questions and covered everthing on my list without me even bringing them up. I was really impressed. Pdocs are a lot different than they use to be. I use to think that all of them are weird. But they are not. So you could really be suprised at how easy it will go. And remember that we are here supporting you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 2/22/2009 3:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Christi,

how is going chuck?

Just thought I'd mail you, missed you in chat lol-but then I've been running about partying.

Hope you're ok hun, and that everything is still moving forward.

Big hugs
Gem xx
Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid,  Lofepramine, Slow-Sodium, Azithromycin, Ciprofloxacin, Omeprazole, Tobi Ineb, Fresubin Liquid Feed, Skandishakes. I use PEP device as my physio.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder - then I get scared and run away.


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 2/23/2009 4:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Things are going okay, I suppose. Probably a little better. I've had a 4 day weekend from school, I needed a break bigtime. 12 more weeks of school! I cant wait for it to be over. I have mostly been watching tv all weekend. Just trying to relax. Went shopping today against my will, but I found a prom dress..(im so NOT a dress person!)

Getting off my Lyrica is going okay. The first time I missed just one dose I could tell because I know how it feels. I take it once now instead of twice. Then I'll take it every other day for a week or so.. I started on Friday and the withdrawal symptoms arent as bad now as they were. I have been hurting more but cant tell yet if its just because I've been doing more or not.
Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."

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