I'm writing this forum because I really need advice from someone. Although I haven't been diagnosed with depression I guess its fair to say I have been very sad for the past few years. There are a lot of people who have hurt me in my life, and I guess thats what is making me sad. My mum stopped being a mother when she met my abusive step dad six years ago and they now live in another city leaving me behind. I never really had a father, my parents got divorced when I was young, and I see him for lunch every couple of months, he's remarried and has a step son. I used to have a strong group of friends in the city I used to live in but a few years ago we had a huge falling out and no longer speak. The only people I have in my life now are my friends here. They all have a lot of problems with alcoholism and eating disorders which affects me. I know these girls don't like me for who I really am, and I feel so self conscious around them. All together I have a really unstable life, I've just moved into my fifteenth house and I'm only eighteen. I find it so hard to cope with everyday life and I'm only ever at peace when I am practicing some form of "escapism"... I really can't keep this up any longer because the ways I try to escape from my unhappiness just further remove me from a normal reality. I find it so hard to set goals because I'm just trying to make it through every day that I can't even begin to think about the future. I know I need to raise my marks to get myself into a university but I just can't. Whenever I don't have a way to escape life is unbearable, its just really hard to live.. and I know that might sound pathetic but I'm trying really hard. I find I'm a lot happier when I'm on my own but its so lonely all the time and I don't have anyone who understands me. I try to be really optimistic about all of this but I'm finding it really hard. I know I need to talk to a school counsellor or something.. but how? I worry that they wouldn't help, I'm very self aware and understanding of why I feel this way and its not like I have "problems" I need to solve.. I just don't know what to do.