New Friend Said She's NEVER been Depressed?

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Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 2/23/2009 3:27 AM (GMT -7)   
I have battled Depression ALL my life. I think I had it when I was just a little kid.
Sometimes it's tolerable, but present. Other times it's all consuming. It feels
heavy and slow. I walk slow, talk slow, think so ... forget things. I take a lot
of medicine for Chronic Pain so that could be part of the problem.

Here's my Question: My new friend (possibly a new friend) says she's never been
Depressed.

How can that be? How could she always be sunny and light. Does she never think?
If the Depression isn't for her, can't she see the pain of other people and feel
sad?

Anyway, I don't know if I want to be friends with her. I don't believe at this point
that she could ever ever ever understand me. I think she's superficial. I don't
understand HER!

Pamela

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 2/23/2009 6:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Pamela,

Some people are fortunate enough to not get depression. But that doesn't mean that she wont understand yours. Though she has never felt what we go through. So I would say give it a chance. She might be the type of person that will bring you out of that hole of darkness.

But I could see where you would think she is superfiscial. I had a friend once who never got mad. And it was all fake. She made me sick. She would take crap from her husband that I never would. And later in life she laughed because I would get mad easily. But I came to realize that she was just holding everything in. Even the part about trying to take my husband away. I can't believe I just said that. But it was true. She came back with four kids and just bursted into my life and tried to steal my husband for everything. Needless to say I had to put and end to that. And then she cried. So some people just keep it hidden. You can't possibly be happy all the time in my opinion. We all have feelings.

I hope that this helps in some small way.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


JeannieM
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 2/23/2009 6:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes I know people like that too. Claim they are always happy, nothing bothers them, etc. I'm hesitant to call them friends because of the fact that we are so different emotionally.

Personally I wish I was one of the "happy people"

Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 2/23/2009 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Karen & Jeannie,
Thanks for the quick reply. It is SO good to have feedback on this subject.
I am going to put her on the back burner. Just because I know her doesn't mean I have to
be "friends"
I'll kind of be waiting for her to pull me out of the Rabbit hole, Karen. I won't be holding
my breath waiting for this to happen. : )
Pamela

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 2/23/2009 7:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Wouldn't it be nice to be happy all of the time. But if I stubbed my toe, I don't think I would laugh about it. I would yell, OUCH! So it is hard for me to picture somebody who never gets depressed. But I guess there are people like that.

I can see your hesitance to become close friends with her. I think putting her on the back burner for now is a good idea. But if she comes forward, maybe her optimism would cheer you up. One day at a time, I guess. Once I started thinking about my old friend, I saw this in a different light. I found out I couldn't trust her. Which really hurt me. I got my phone number changed and didn't give it to her. She was really hurt by that though. Oh well, I guess she got the hint.

She had an abusive boyfriend come home from out west. He came to my house looking for her. He was a total jerk, very impolite and we were having pizza, he threw his piece on the floor. Spun his tires out when he left and threw stones and dirt all over my truck when he did it. I told my husband about it and she (my friend ) got mad at me. She said she wished I hadn't done that. I told her I wasn't putting up with his crap and I didn't know how she did. But everytime he would be mean to her, she would call my husband crying on his shoulder. I later noticed her second son looked like my husband when he was a kid. What is up with that???? She was here on vacation right about the time that he would have been born. My husband is dead now. He died of lung cancer. I have a new husband who is very good to me now. Thank God.

Sorry for the rant, but this brought back some memories.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/23/2009 8:37 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Pam,

This is the simple way of looking at depression versus sadness.

Although depression is often thought of a being an extreme state of sadness, there is a vast difference between clinical depression and sadness. Sadness is a part of being human, a natural reaction to painful circumstances. All of us will experience sadness at some point in our lives. Depression, however, is a physical illness with many more symptoms than an unhappy mood. The person with clinical depression finds that there is not always a logical reason for his dark feelings. reference: Nancy Schimelpfening

I have clinical depression................people that do not have this dx have a hard time understanding exactly how we feel.

Hugs to you kiddo.
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
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Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
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JeannieM
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 2/23/2009 9:37 AM (GMT -7)   
"I have clinical depression................people that do not have this dx have a hard time understanding exactly how we feel."

I agree with that 110 %!!! Case in point, my husband. He can't understand how depression makes me feel, can't understand that I can't just snap out of it, etc. I know he loves me, I just wish he understood me a little better.
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