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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/28/2009 6:41 PM (GMT -6)   
hey my names fai i guess i ve gone through periods of depression from the age of ten i seem to lerch through life from being very happy positive and exitable to being so down depressed and pessimistic i cant even get out of bed...i have never been to a doctor about it because it always seems to go away, but it always boomerangs back to me...i guess i m starting to see there might be a real problem.
I used to self harm and be very obsessive compulsive i even was really suicidal at one point. Until I left for university last year i though it had all gone away i was in a stable relationship and had many good friends but i did not get on well at uni and my confidance was dashed from bullying and weight gain. I ended up dropping out at christmas and went straight into studying for alevel retakes and reapplication to a different uni and applying for a job. My relationship broke down and it was made clear to me today that that was over.
My friends all seem to have disapeared or they are there but only when it suits them. so i end up not talking about how down i am for fear of putting them off me. i am trying to put myself out there and get involved in stuff like volunteer work but even keeping myself busy dosnt help.
My life seems so pointless and the future just seems black to me. I used to be so positive about the future and i dont know when that changed. I hate the pessimistic cloud that seems to follow me around.
I just dont know where to turn anymore, i guess i just felt i need some kind of support or advice i m kind of stuck...

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40395
   Posted 2/28/2009 8:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Fairy_bluebell,

It sounds like it might be time to go to a doctor and see about some medication or some counseling. You need support through this. It sounds like the depressive episodes are continuing to come back. So if I were you I would do that. Plus a complete physical might be in order, to rule out anything else.

I hope that you continue to post, HealingWell can be a good supportive place to come. We will always look out for your best welfare.

Let us know how things are going for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 2/28/2009 9:49 PM (GMT -6)   
I just wanted to welcome you to the board. I know how that stuck feeling feels. And you just feel like you don't know what to do, hang in there because we are here for you! I agree with Karen about seeing a Dr so you can have some support by meds or counseling. It can really change your life for the better. Sometimes we need help to pick ourselves back up and see some light. Keep posting with us and hugs to you!
Dx Bipolar II Jan 2009
Taking 100mg Lamictal and 25mg Strattera.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 2/28/2009 10:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and welcome,

You remind me of myself. I would go through these periods of depression, then snap out of them-but they would always make their rounds again. I know a lot of people recommend this, but seriously, please seek out therapy. There is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. I go, and it has since changed my life.
Please know that you always have all of us to talk to here and let your feelings about, but going in person to a counselor will have a dramatic effect on your life. You will feel better in general being able to talk face to face with someone who will simply sit and listen and not judge.

Im sorry your relationship and school didnt work out. All I can say is learn from it. There will be better things down the road for you. So please dont put yourself down because you are wonderful.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/1/2009 10:22 AM (GMT -6)   

Hello fai

Welcome to HealingWell and I am glad you found us.  I know you will meet many wonderful members here and you have already received great advice.

Just wanted to drop in to say welcome and yes, please do seek out medical help as you do not want to resort to old habits my new friend.

Keep talking to us and know we are here to help and support you.

Gentle Hugs



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18558
   Posted 3/3/2009 1:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Fai, oh so familiar am i with your situation. my compassion to you is this: life is not easy, even unfair, but if you hit rock bottom, please dont dig any deeper.  life is a journery, i am trying an approach where i  tell people about my depression that i live with it, rather than suffer from it. this is my own psych101. take care. jamiee, me new too.
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