I'm being a brat (putting it mildly)

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Becky77
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 3/1/2009 4:13 PM (GMT -7)   
So I called on Friday to my PCP to change my meds because I've been spending way too much time in my "cave" as my boyfriend calls it (my room). I forgot, though, that their hours are much shorter on Fridays. Apparently people aren't sick, or don't need help on Friday afternoons.

In any case, it leaves me here....I'm being so mean, and I don't mean to be. My BF just came downstairs and I just snapped at him. Then I left the room, and took a shower, because I didn't want to be mean again. We had pizza earlier, and he made no attempt to clean up, and I just want to scream at him and tell him to do his part, etc. But I'm just keeping my mouth shut. I feel so out of control. All of my thoughts are mean, and I'm trying, really trying to be nice. I think part of it is that I want him to notice that I'm not doing well. Is it naive of me to think he should notice. Naive to think he should know to try to help. I don't know. Maybe I'm being stupid, maybe I just should spell it out to him.

Thanks for listening.
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12


stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/1/2009 4:35 PM (GMT -7)   

Becky,

This is Kitt and I mean this in a kind and helpful way....Stop It.  I know I have done the same thing as you because I am so upset and angry about the darn depression but it does not give us a license to hurt others.  You know your doing it so just Stop, put on the breaks and stay in the moment. Anger is a natural human emotion. Yet, if not well managed, anger can cause a lot of troubles such as conflicts at workplace, fights in the family, rejection of others, loneliness. Anger damages personal relationships.

The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.
William James

Gentle Hugs and call you physician first thing in the morning.

Take care
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

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Becky77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 3/1/2009 4:50 PM (GMT -7)   
He just asked me why I was being so short with him, why I was answering in only one word and asked if maybe he should go upstairs and leave me by myself. I think that's probably best for now. Even though I want him to hug me and tell me it'll be ok, it's more likely I'd yell or be mean unintentionally.

Thank you, Kitt, for being there. I appreciate it so much. Hopefully once my meds are changed, this will ease up.

For now I'll just try to relax by the fire and watch the snow fall outside! Who doesn't like snow in March? I love it!
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 3/1/2009 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   
It thinks that you need to be on a mood stabilizer. I think that it would really help you a lot. I take one and it really helps me a lot.

It is not any fun when we are feeling the way that you are now. My first husband thought that I liked being that way. But I truly didn't. I hope that your doctor can help you soon. Make sure you let him know about your moods.

Best wishes,
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Becky77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 3/1/2009 6:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I thought I was calming down, and told the BF I was trying, and I didn't think my meds were working right. Then.....I snapped again. I feel horrible. He let the dog inside, and she brought in snow, and before he could make her stop, she was in the house, past the towel on the floor meant to dry her, and I just snapped and yelled. So we both had it out, and yelled for a minute, then I guess it hit him that something was really wrong (I don't cry a lot, even when I get mad) so he sat down and gave me a big hug and told me to tell him what's going on. So it's all out in the open. I told him really, I'm trying to be nice, to keep it together, but I feel like I'm losing it. What a good BF he is though. He said he knows I'm not like this, so he understands.

Thanks for listening, again. It's calmed me down just to get this out of my head. I've stopped crying, I'm calm again. I'm going to call my dr in the morning. I can't be like this for 3 more days. He, or anyone else, doesn't deserve the wrath of me right now!
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 3/1/2009 7:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Becky,

I am so happy that you got this out in the open and talked it over with your husband, and it sounds like he does understand. I didn't realize that I got mean when I had that problem until somebody finally said "you are mean". Since I got my medications right, I have been so much better. Things that use to bother me don't anymore. It just isn't worth it. I don't know how my husband put up with me, but he did. He has helped me with the fibromyalgia too. He does a lot for me. I have a hard time telling him how much I care. I know that I am going to have to find a way. I show it, but I need to say it. Sometimes I make him cards. I think that helps.

It sounds like you have a very good man. I hope that things work out for you. Tell the doctor everything, so that he can treat you for the right things. You will be feeling better in no time.

Gentle hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Becky77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 3/2/2009 9:37 AM (GMT -7)   
tongue  So today has been a much better day.  Because it snowed (and in Georgia people freak out) my doctor's office had cancellations and I was able to be seen this morning.  They gave me prescriptions for a mood stabilizer (seroquel) to take starting once a day, then eventually twice a day and clonazepam to take when I can't get out of the bratty mood like yesterday.  So hopefully things will start getting back to normal soon!
 
Have any of you taken these meds.  I don't know what to expect with them.
 
Thanks!
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 3/2/2009 9:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Seroquel is a mood stabilizer like you said. It should really help you a lot. If not, there are others that you can try. I take abilify and it works wonders, but is very expensive.

I truly hope that this medication works for you. And as most other meds, give it a little time. Any side effects should go away within a couple of weeks and it may take up to four weeks to reach it's full effects. I hope that it helps you.

You are a strong person to face this head on. I am very proud of you for doing so. Keep up the good work.

Hugs my friend, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Becky77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 3/2/2009 11:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Karen for your support.  It means a lot.  After having a rough last week, and terrible day yesterday, I came back to work and not a single person asked how I was or if I was ok or anything.  cry It makes me feel terrible that these people I'm around 40 hours a week don't even care.  I guess they just don't understand.  But I do have people outside of work that love me and care about me, and I'm going to focus on that!
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 3/2/2009 11:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Becky,

I am glad that you have a support system besides work. Use it. That is what friends are for. And remember we are here for you. So utilize this site.

I hope that you continue to feel better.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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