WHY Do People Not Listen???? I cant do this any more...

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Miss Tradgedy
New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 3/2/2009 1:34 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm having an up and down week... or month... i'm not sure. Last night I was so stressed I was crying and shaking all over. I HATE mondays... it means school. I have some seriously amazing friends, dont get me wrong, but my class is horrible. I have panic attacks and I'm rubbish at most subjects. I just sit and try and keep out of things. Today, some of the guys were saying horrible things about me and I couldn't handle it so I walked out of class. I was able to laugh about it with people later but I felt like I was faking it. It's how I always feel now a days... Like I'm lying all the time, does that make sense????
Things seemed to be getting better, but they keep going wrong...
People make jokes and poke fun at issues they should know they shouldn't... today in gym, my badminton partner saw all the scars and scratches on my arms and shoulders (curse tank tops, curse them i say) and started making jokes about how I should hurry up and kill myself! All his friends joined in and I felt horrible. Dont they get it, that suicide is actualy looming in front of me.
I cant talk to my mom, she complains about everything I do, but recently I have no energy for anything. I have headaches all the time and feel sleepy, but when I go to bed to sleep, I cant. I lie awake for hours. It's doing my head in. I cant focus on anything, I really cant, and teachers and my mom keep yelling at me. I cant handle it any more, I really cant. shakehead
I tried talking to my friends, my boyfriend and a teacher, but all the advice is the same: forget the past, realize you're worth it.
But I cant find it that easy, I'm a wreck and suicide is more and more on my mind. When I talk about it, I feel like I'm complaining. I'm not even sure if this makes sens but I'm so totaly stressed and I cant take anything any more. I'm on the edge of a breakdown and I'm really scared. cry
I sometimes really just want to give up.
Sorry if this is a stressed ramble, but I'm a 15 year old with nowhere to turn.... advice- PLEASE?????
Thanks for reading xxx

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40392
   Posted 3/2/2009 2:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi MissTragedy,
National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)

Please don't let these people get to you. It truly isn't worth it. You are a worthy person and deserve to feel good.

Have you been to the doctor about how you feel? Do you go to any counseling? I would highly recommend it if you are not. It is very important that you feel good about yourself.

You can laugh it off at the moment, but that doesn't change how you feel inside. So think about the counseling, I go and it works wonders. I really think that you need to go, for your own sake.

Know that we here at healingwell support you. We will always be here for you. So never hesitate to post.

And remember that you are a wonderful person and that right now you just need a little help. So please think about seeing a doctor or going to counseling.

I can't stress this enough to you.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing, and remember that we do care.

Hugs, Karen
Remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Once it is done there is no turning back.

Here are some resources that might help you...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 3/2/2009 3:23 PM (GMT -6)   

Well, I feel I can empathize with you. Im 17 and I'd say I've been through what you explained. I still am. But, your not alone. Those guys are full of themselves and they shouldnt have done what they did. Suicide isnt something to laugh or joke about, ever. People at school can be tough because 1) they dont seem mature 2) they dont care if they hurt you 3) it may seem like no one there is on your side. I feel like that a lot.

Im not close to my family so that was a dead end. And talking to people in general is not my strong point. So, for a long time I've felt alone. I've spoken up on and off. To friends, teachers, school counselor, doctor, and (today) a new therapist. I've told people before and have felt like over time they just walked out of my life..but I've kept going, even if it were alone, because I know eventually someone will listen.

I'd suggest talking to a school counselor, or a doctor, someone you think you can go to. I think you deserve a chance to get better. And that can happen, but it takes baby steps. You wont get better over night, I'll tell you that. But, you have to give yourself some credit. Even if your walking alone, or feel like you are, you can get far.

If you need or want too, you can talk to me. I wont mind and Im sure I can understand what you are going through. Sometimes it helps talking to someone whose been through the same stuff. But, like I said, I dont mind so if you ever want to, you can email me or talk on here. Take Care

Lyrica(14 months) and Paxil(about 6+- months)-both helping some, but would like to see better results
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2268
   Posted 3/2/2009 3:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Miss T-
You ARE worth it, but I know that hearing that isn't always enough. I think Tennis had a good idea about maybe talking to a school counselor. Often they can help work with the teachers to get them on track & also may be able to get you some assistance with your studies. If that's not an option, perhaps an outside counselor could help. You could call the Covenant House Nine Line at 1-800-999-9999. They are open 24/7 and offer assistance to youth & young adults on how to cope with the kinds of problems you're facing as well as helping you locate help in your area. They have a great website: www.nineline.org.

I do hope you hang in there. I know you're going through a lot of tough stuff right now & it absolutely makes sense that you would be thinking about suicide, but I really believe that there is something or someone out there that can help you if you will just hang on. Is there any chance your mom would take you to see your doctor? I'm wondering whether there might be something physical going on in addition to all of the emotional torment. Even if it turns out you are physically okay, you could tell your doctor what's going on & s/he could maybe explain to your mom why you need treatment and what's going on. If you're in immediate danger of suicide, your doctor could even override your mother & get you treatment even if she doesn't want you to.

Take care,

Post Edited (Frances_2008) : 3/2/2009 2:05:24 PM (GMT-7)

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