I guess it's just a bit of my venting..

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Zombiphilia
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/5/2009 1:52 AM (GMT -7)   
This is a piece of my depression...now I can honestly say i don't even know if I do have depression, I've never been to a doctor or therapist or anyone for that matter, nor do I plan to, hence why I am here...I figure that I hope people on here (whom seem very nice so far as I've observed) might help me a bit, for they have gone through or are going through the same things I've been through I assume. Well for some background...I think my "depression" if it is depression started in my seventh grade year..the first time I tried to  myself out of self-hatred, worthlessness and weakness. I will spare the reasons, for people don't really have to know to know the fact that , only I was too stupid to know that I would pass out first before I died, I guess it is fortunate that I did not tie the rope well and I woke up a bit later on the floor (luckily my family doesn't come into my room often...) My depression spread from seventh to eighth grade where it got worse and I started myself out of more hatred for myself. I attempted  again in my ninth grade year. I was finally with someone I loved at first sight...little did I know that when you are depressed or very sad that you cling to anyone that shows the least bit of interest to you. Yes, well you all know where that is going I believe, my first love, first kiss...turned out to be cheating on me with my friend from the start. That made me fall into a deeper hole, they had been my only friends with the exception of one other...but she doesn't count I was more of her therapist then a friend..but that's a different part of my story, anyways, from there my self-worth that I had gained from his lies fell obviously, and I hated myself more then before. 10th grade I met another man, but he was shall I say..emotionally abusive, just wanted me o have sex with him and tried to make me on a few occasions. I guess that is the base of my depression hatred for myself, low self-worth and weakness. There are other part of my depression other then the low-everything, but I figured I'd save that to be the second piece to my depression. Well i guess thanks for reading my little pointless vent/background information.
 
 
I am sorry that I had to edit your post, please read forum rules before posting.  Thank you...
 
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/5/2009 6:41:20 AM (GMT-7)


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 3/5/2009 4:58 AM (GMT -7)   

dear zombiphilia.

hi i am jamiee, me new to the communityas well. it is good that you have talked and or vented. depression is different for all, depression is a medical condition, therefore i feel it would be beneficial to seek some medical feedback regarding your situation. your bravery to come and speak about past difficulties is a great step.

take care.

jamiee


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 3/5/2009 6:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Zombiphilia,

I am so sorry that I had to edit your post. But please read forum rules before posting.

I agree with Jamiee, you really need to seek professional help. We all need the support at one time or another.

I am sorry to hear that your early years were so difficult. But if you were to seek counseling, you would be able to get beyond this. I know that it seems hard but it can be done. You sound like a very special person with a lot of wisdom. I think that with some help, you would think more of your self worth. You are important to us, so keep posting. We are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/5/2009 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Zombiphilia,
 
Welcome to HealingWell.  This is Kitt and I am glad you found us.   Your story makes me feel sad but I truly believe that you need to seek a physician to get a medical exam and make sure there are no medical issues that could be causing your feelings. 
I have had depression for 26 years and if I had not seen a Doctor and gone to therapy I would  have suffered  a very sad life.
 
There is help and lots of hope out there if you just believe so please do make an appointment..............get professional help and keep coming here talking to us.
 
WE are here to support you.
 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt
 
 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Zombiphilia
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/6/2009 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
getting by said...
Hi Zombiphilia,

I am so sorry that I had to edit your post. But please read forum rules before posting.

I agree with Jamiee, you really need to seek professional help. We all need the support at one time or another.

I am sorry to hear that your early years were so difficult. But if you were to seek counseling, you would be able to get beyond this. I know that it seems hard but it can be done. You sound like a very special person with a lot of wisdom. I think that with some help, you would think more of your self worth. You are important to us, so keep posting. We are here for you.

Hugs, Karen


opps sorry, guess i passed by that rule..i just thought it was a no to threats

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 3/6/2009 11:05 AM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry that I had to edit your post. We are not allowed to discuss suicide on here or self harm. Even if it isn't a threat, but I left your post in tact so that people could understand what you were talking about.

We have young adults on here, as young as thirteen and try not to discuss the negative aspects of suicide or self harm due to that. I hope that you can understand.

You are a valued member so I hope that you continue to stay with us. We care a lot about you and want to be here to help you.

Please keep posting.

I hope that you have a wonderful day. Let us know how things are going.

Hugs my friend,

Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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