Am I about to be fired?

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HapkidoRN
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/9/2009 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   
about 3 weeks ago I was assaulted.  I don't remember much of it and I didn't get medical attention because I have no insurance.  My boss was initially compassionate, and offered me 30 days of leave.  However, tomorrow morning she has set up a meeting with me and one of the head people from Human Resources.  I have a feeling that I'm about to be fired if I don't go back to work right away, or at the very least, transferred out of the department.
I am not eligible for FMLA, and I am no where NEAR ready to go back.  i'm a total mess.  I mean, I had depression before this, but now I'm constantly on edge, hating the world, crying all the time, destroying the few relationships I have left, and I don't know what to do.  Can I bring a tape recorder to the meeting if they won't let me have a witness there?

HapkidoRN
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/9/2009 11:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much for your very kind reply.
I wasn't assaulted at work, HOWEVER, in the last year, for about six months I was harrassed at work.  We have a bulletin board where we posted personal photos, and my photos were defaced, my eyes gouged out, etc, and all they did was just take down the bulletin board.  I still have no idea who I worked with who mutilated my photographs. But it made me look over my shoulder CONSTANTLY because the bulletin board was in an area where ONLY employees could access, not clients.
The assault, I'm guessing was random.  I did not call the police, but when I emailed a photo of my face to my boyfriend, he called the cops and they came to my house.  They told me that I had ligature marks around my neck from strangulation, which I didn't even know about.  I was not sexually assaulted.  i'm a martial artist and I guess my skills kicked in enough for me to get away, or I would probably now be rotting in a ditch somewhere.  I did not file a police report.  Too scared that it would be in the local news and that it would come out that I am a psych patient.
I feel like when I go to this meeting tomorrow, that I need a witness at the very least, because last time I went to HR about my photos being defaced, the HR rep (the same one who will be at the meeting tomorrow) said, "Well, some people like to play the victim".  I wish I had the time to ask a lawyer to come with me, but can't I just bring my ex-boyfriend?  Don;t I have that right?

HapkidoRN
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/9/2009 11:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks. I will take your advice, be calm, and take notes. Will let you know what happens in the morning. By the way....is it better to get fired than resign? At least if I get fired I can apply for unemployment, right?

stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/10/2009 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   

Hapkido,

I am so sorry to hear of your problems and Frances knows what she is talking about. Do you see a psychiatrist that would be available to give you a written letter stating you are not able to work?

I hope your meeting is not as bad as you are anticipating.  Again I am so sorry this is happening to you.
 
Sincerely
Kitt
 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


HapkidoRN
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/10/2009 8:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you,
Yes I have a letter from the psychiatrist stating I am not able to work.  Unfortunately, it doesn't save me from being fired.
Thank you for your kind words.
Angelique

HapkidoRN
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/10/2009 2:36 PM (GMT -7)   
OK, I got fired. Went to the meeting, and I admit, I was sort of dazed, had trouble oraganizing thoughts, even had long moments of silence where I couldn't make any words come out. My boss insisted that I go to inpatient care, and i did not want to go because I have no insurance and our crisis stabilization unit is a joke. I was there last month after the assault, and it was extremely traumatizing--cops bringing in street folks, fights breaking out, and I didn't even have a bed, just a bench to sleep on. But my boss told me that I HAD to go, no choice in the matter, and she was going to call over there in ten minutes to make sure I was there.
So I went.
I did NOT want to stay, I was scared and feeling like it was just a holding place for criminals that didn't quite qualify for jail!
They took all my things and locked them up and locked the doors. I tried to stay calm. Being a nurse, I explained to her that I am not suicidal or homocidal and I know that I do not meet criteria for involuntary commitment. After a looooooooooooong wait and several phone calls, I guess she found out that she really couldn't keep me. I feel really lucky that I got out of there. but where does my boss get off insisting that I get committed after she fires me? What jurisdiction does she have? I didn't hurt anyone.
Later on, I found out that she felt I could not care for my little 4 year old daughter because of my depression. I told the screener to go look at my daughter (my boss was keeping her in her office while they fired me in another room). She is clean, she is fed and she is mentally healthy. I am so angry. Not that I was fired, but that after actually WITNESSING my daughter's excellent condition, that they challenged my mothering. I almost wish they called protective services, because make a false report is a felony here.

HapkidoRN
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/10/2009 2:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I also might add, that while locked up, they told me that now that I was jobless, they could get a prescriptions filled free and that's why I should stay. I knew full well they can accomplish the same thing without involuntary commitment, and said so. After a few more calls, she said that she had made arrangements for me to pick up my scripts for free at the OUTPATIENT pharmacy. Of course, when I got there, no such arrangement was made.
I definitely think I'm depressed and angry, sometimes confused, misinterpreting people's attempts at help as attacks on my mental status. I'm not sure where to turn.

HapkidoRN
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/10/2009 2:50 PM (GMT -7)   
By the way...there's one thing I don't understand. I have a friend who is also a nurse on the same unit, has the same boss, and she has been on a Leave of Absence (NOT FMLA), just LOA granted by our boss, whereby she checks in with our boss from time to time and gives her an idea of when she might be able to come back to work. My friend's situation is different; she is on LOA (she already used up her FMLA) because her son is mentally ill so she needs to stay home and care for him until he is well (he is an adult with severe OCD). Why does she seem to get unlimited LOA and I get axed? All my performance reviews were either 'does job well' or 'above standard'.

Becky77
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 3/10/2009 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
mad So sorry to hear that you lost your job. I was thinking about you today, and hoping that things would have gone better.

I can't believe that in a healthcare field that they are so not understanding.

You know that you are a wonderful person, and a good worker, and hopefully this is just a detour to a better opportunity for you.

((((hugs)))))
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12; phenergan, ultram, clonazepam as needed


HapkidoRN
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/10/2009 4:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, you are very kind.  I suppose there's no doubt I need help.  My meds are definitely not working, but it's still upsetting.  Where do I start to recover from this? 
I can't get an appointment until June 2 at the local mental health clinic, and when I told them I really needed something sooner, they said that if I needed it that badly, I probably needed to be on a locked down unit.  Huh?  What kind of answer is that? I work(ed) in the field and this is pathetic!
At least I have my little girl for motivation and inspiration to keep going.

HapkidoRN
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/10/2009 4:12 PM (GMT -7)   
By the way...it all seems so UNREAL to me...literally I am having trouble believing that all this happened. I kept the photos of my assault injuries in my phone because I keep having to look back at them to make sure it really happened and I didn't imagine it. Is that ....uuuummm....abnormal?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 3/10/2009 7:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't think it is abnormal. What you had happen was traumatic, and I think our minds try to protect us by making us feel as if it was a dream. Hang in there, something will come along for you.

Hugs Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Becky77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 3/10/2009 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
It is pathetic that you have to wait to get help. What do they want you to do? Do they want to give it time to get worse? That makes no sense to me either.

Until then, focus on your little one. Enjoy the extra time you have with her! And just take things as they come.

I'll be thinking about you.

((((((hugs)))))))
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12; phenergan, ultram, clonazepam as needed


HapkidoRN
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/10/2009 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks you guys. I really appreciate just having someone listen (or read).
Angélique
 
 
38 year old female, dx major depressive disorder x 14 years, PTSD, Migraine, Eating Disorder, Sexual Assault Survivor, and martial artist. Currently taking Wellbutrin 300mg and klonopin 1mg. 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/11/2009 4:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Angélique
 
I am going to assume that you do not work at a hospital where the nurses belong to a union.  I have never heard of a boss demanding you be admitted to a Psych unit as this person is not a Doctor or in any way related to you.
 
What were their plans for you daughter?  For goodness sake I would be showing them  the boot  by now. I hope you have access to some legal help.
 
Keep talking to us.
 
I am so sorry this has happened.
Kitt
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


HapkidoRN
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/11/2009 10:10 PM (GMT -7)   
stkitt said...
Angélique
 
I am going to assume that you do not work at a hospital where the nurses belong to a union.  I have never heard of a boss demanding you be admitted to a Psych unit as this person is not a Doctor or in any way related to you.
 
What were their plans for you daughter?  For goodness sake I would be showing them  the boot  by now. I hope you have access to some legal help.
 
Keep talking to us.
 
I am so sorry this has happened.
Kitt

Hi stkitt,
thanks for the message.  You are right, no unions here.  And actually since she wasn't my boss anymore, what authority did she have making such a demand?  She told my ride that he MUST take me there and she would call to confirm I had arrived.  I believe that if I had not voluntarily gone, she would have called the police and had me Baker Acted (not sure if that's the term in all states). She conveyed that she felt I could not care for my daughter, in spite of the fact that she witnessed my daughter in excellent physical and mental condition.  I wish she HAD Baker Acted me, because I believe that would have been false imprisonment. I don't think I have legal recourse.
On the good side, I'm thinking that now that I am unemployed, i might actually qualify for prescription assistance!  I also filed for unemployment today.  Hopefully it wont take long.
I'll tell you, the one thing that really gets my goat is the HR person who was present and who actually verbalized my "release" to me.  Months ago, when my photos were being mutilated, scratched out, destroyed, etc, she called me to her office to discuss the problem.  I thought she would help but do you know what her comment was to me?
"Some people like to play the victim".


Angélique
 
 
38 year old female, dx major depressive disorder x 14 years, PTSD, Migraine, Eating Disorder, Sexual Assault Survivor, and martial artist. Currently taking Wellbutrin 300mg and klonopin 1mg. 


Hara
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 3/12/2009 12:09 AM (GMT -7)   

You sound like you just need to talk to someone about what you are going through. There are Crisis Line Numbers out there in the world to where you can talk to someone that is going to be biased and might even help you find a place you can go without having medical insurance. Look either on the internet or your local telephone book for the Crisis line numbers.

 

Hara

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