Tammy: I am so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. Going to work when you are not feeling well is hard enough, never mind having to deal with the issues that you described.
In just looking at your workplace issue, it sounds like this former friend of yours has a serious chip on her shoulder and is something that will just not go away. I think asking about medications to help you deal with this issue could be good for you as it will give you the strength to feel better and face her directly. Unfortunately, it sounds like you are going to have to use an entirely different approach with her. I don't know if you have direct authority over her, but if you do follow all rules and policies exactly. If she is disrespectful directly to you then start by issuing verbal warnings and of course document these in her personnel file. She will of course be furious, but then again she already is and this will start the process of giving you the upper hand. Additionally, if you have people under you and are working hard and being respectful and are seeing her get away from this behaviour, they will end up not respecting you as well. Follow-through with her immediately always. Perhaps enough hits in her personnel file will make her rethink her actions or make her decide to leave.
As far as your husband, I think Becky is right. I don't think he truly understands the effect that the ectopic pregnancy had on you. However, he should absolutely be supportive of you not feeling well. I hope you keep talking with your counselor and of course posting here. It sounds like you truly need the extra support right now!
I am sorry you are going through a tough time...........I learned very quickly if you are in a supervisor position, you cannot be best friends with the people who work for you, it just does not work.
They want favoritism, and you will not be able to oblige them. They get angry at you as now you are their boss and not a peer anymore................if this is to hard to deal with are your willing to step out of the supervisor position to regain friendships or will you be able to draw the line between being your friends boss and still maintaining a friendship outside of work?
IMHO I would really like to see you talk to your "shrink" as that is why you have one, talk through your problems and recieve advice, remember you may not like what your therapist recommends but at least talk about it. You are the one in the drivers seat here.
I am sorry your hubby is not more supportive and also for the loss of your baby. That is truly a traumatic loss and you are allowed to grieve in your own way.
Many gentle hugs to you and please stick with us.