Depressed due to extra marital relationship

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preity
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/12/2009 12:15 AM (GMT -7)   
After long 12 years of no whereabouts i met one of my old friends for whom i once harboured special feelings which went unsaid.those feelings were still alive but the life situations were different. i was divorced and a mother of a kid and he was about to marry the girl whom he loved. he got married. i thought it would just be a friendship and found solace in his company. he also supported me very well emotionally as well as financially. boosting up my morale and self confidence. Above all i am grateful to him to introduce me to the Love of Lord Jesus Christ. whereafter the Lord filled my life with abundance. Meanwhile during a discussion of college days both of us confessed our love for each other. knowingly unknowingly we indulged into intimate relationship. he says he has no emotional or physical intimacy with his wife. when given a choice to choose between the two of us he chose his wife citing that his son should not suffer. i said ok we discontinue but he doesnt want to do that also. i cant be harsh on him due to my love and gratefulness to him. often i throw tantrums on this issue but he is tolerant of it. i really dont know what to do. i love him but dont want to be in extra marital relationship. i also gave him a choice be it 10 years down the line if you will marry me i will continue but he is not giving that commitment. i am totally shattered. sometimes i feel he never loved me but not even a single past incident points towards it. i gave him an option of keeping no communication with his wife and still stay with her for the sake of his son, he doesnt agree to that also stating he wants to give a balanced family to his son. i know it would be easier to advise forget him, get him out of your system. i also want to do that but dont know how. please advise on these lines

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/12/2009 8:40 AM (GMT -7)   

preity

Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression forum.  Have you ever been dx with depression and are you on any medications or do you have a therapist?

I am sorry you are having a tough time in your life but I do not know that it is something that we are equipped to  advice you on as your question is asking us to tell you what to do.

I would really like you to seek professional help if you are struggling with depression issues.

I see the answer to your question in your own words............"forget him, get him out of your system".  I know in your heart you realize this is the solution and that it is not easy to do, but  my  senses tell me you would be wise to walk away and move on with your life.

You can do this.  I have faith that you will make the right choice for you.

Peace,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 3/12/2009 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Preity,

From experience, I can tell you, they always go back to the wife. So I wouldn't expect a long term relationship with him. Or the fullfillment that you need in a relationship. Just letting you know what to expect. From my experience. So this it totally up to you, but as Kitt said, I think you should walk away from this and get on with your life.

I too recommend counseling for you. You could use some support right about now. I hope that you can find happiness in your life without him.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


preity
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/12/2009 9:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi,
i am not on any medication right now. i am a medical professional and so could sense that i am slipping into depression. i could also acknowledge that it is not a medical emergency. i just need some friends to talk to and such issues you cant talk to friends who know you personally as your social status is on stake. also i need an assurance from friends like you that it wont be ungrateful on my part to get away from him because he had been a major help and support in dealing with all the issues of my life of course by the Grace of God. Sometimes i feel i was not aspiring to meet him ever in my life but still God got him into my life so will God like my moving out of this relationship

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/13/2009 6:13 AM (GMT -7)   

I am so glad you have thought this through and I do know what you are going through.  No one here is perfect and we do not judge.  I have been judged in the past by people I thought were my friends and turned on me when I tried to confide in them so I understand why it is hard to go to your friends to discuss your problems. 

Please know that you are always welcome to post your thoughts and vents here and to ask for help.  Bless you.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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