Troubled times...

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TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 3/12/2009 12:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel I am posting excessively, but I figured I might as well post.
 
Okay, I am having problems with friends. Or "friend" persay. He is overly sensitive and paranoid. He talks ALOT and if I dont say anything back to him, he thinks I HATE him and dont want to talk to him. When Im actually hearing everything he is saying, I just dont have anything to say back. I dont talk very much in general and its like he's trying to 'change' me. If I dont want to talk, I shouldnt have to. My friends agree with me about him. And we all talked about it. But, it only upsets him and now he is "not talking". Everyone says to him "YOU, not talk, yeah right!" So, they agree..He just has so much energy and says a TON of unnecessary stuff. Its like he pokes and prods at me SO much I am going crazy.
 
At the same time, I dont want him to be upset or think that I "HATE" him, cause I dont HATE him. He's just paranoid. And I know this for a fact cause he told me how he thinks he doesnt have any friends at all....which is 100% NOT true. If I look at him "funny" its because I think he's "stupid". If I dont speak to him its because I dont "WANT" to talk to him. If I use a tone or sarcasm its because I "hate" him......
 
He says that.... but he's totally wrong! He just WONT listen to me!!!!! What do I do!??? He's driving me insane because I just want to SLAP him in the face and say SHUTUP! CALM DOWN! He is constantly saying stuff...he never shuts up...it just gets so annoying to me because I like my peace and quiet and my observing others.
 
Okay, here for the other part. He says I am disconnected and only like things if its my way. He says I dont EVER do anything he wants to do...(he asked me to go to an orcestra thing but I was going through withdrawal, he simply couldnt understand that)...He just ALWAYS wants to do stuff. He says Im "slow". Just because Im not all HYPER doesnt mean Im slow. Or if I like to have alone/down time, its not necessarily because Im lazy.
 
Im so sorry I come to complain. Its making a horrible situation for me though. All our friends tell us we sound like an old couple fighting like we are, but they agree with me over him. Which leads me to think I have a valid point.....but he's making me feel like a horrible person. Its really getting to me.
 
What should I do? Have you ever had a friend like that? Annoying, way to much energy for ya? Especially with Fibro and coming off medicine right now, and dealing with depression and everything? Thats not unreasonable, is it? Any advice please? Or just tell me Im not crazy! That works as well!
Lyrica(15 months,but working on get out right now) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 3/12/2009 12:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Christi,

You aren't crazy or selfish. You have your life and your own problems, so don't take on his. It sounds like he has some hang ups and wants to blame everybody else for them. It sounds like he could use some counseling to me. You are a great friend Christi, so don't let him cause you to feel otherwise. You are a quiet and deep thinking person and don't change for him. I guess that the bottom line is that these are his problems and he will have to solve them himself. He does sound very sensitive, and he creates his own moods. Just reassure him that you are different from him and if you don't talk, it doesn't mean that you don't care. You are just more quiet than he is.

I wish you the best with this, don't let him drive you crazy. Maybe he needs some help with a counselor.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 3/12/2009 7:03 PM (GMT -7)   
well he sounds very imature, I would not take what he says seruisly, don't let it affect you. if you have to you can stay away from him , don't hang a lot with him , and keep a distance that way he will appretiate you more, and learn from his mistakes. it's not your fault don't think that way, you need your piece and quite too, you have the right not to speak if you don't want to.

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