complete despair

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Gabby123
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 3/13/2009 1:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone. 
 
      Im not looking for advice like take meds and find a therapist or anything - i have done that and I am trying.  I am just needing someone to talk to because I feel like I am about to explode.  I cry myself to sleep almost everynight.  I cried all day yesterday and I feel like crying today.  I feel like the biggest waste and see no point to my life what-so-ever.  Everyday is just a burden.  I get up and survive through another pointless day.  I see no hope for me and no way out of the pain and suffering i live with everyday of my life.  No one can help me.  I pray everynight God would put me out of my misery.  I used to go to church but i don't even feel any connection anymore when I go.  Its like I sit there in silence shaded by a million tears.  I am so lost.  I don't know who I am and there seems no answer to the questions I have.  I hate my life and I wish so bad I was normal.  I don't feel important to anybody.  I just feel devastated, loneky, sick, and in pain.  Please pray for me - if yall pray, think of me.  I don't know how much longer I can take this.
 
 

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 3/13/2009 7:14 PM (GMT -7)   

dear gabby123.

You are precious to god/creator of this world. it is darn hard to get up when everything has gone to water. i will send love and compassion to you via the universe. you are a human being with abilities special to you. you alike the rest of us are on this earth for a reason. by posting your situation you have made contact with the universe. if i can help in anyway i am here for you. things do get better.

loving blessings

from jamiee via the universe to you.

 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 3/13/2009 8:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gabby123,

Before I start, I just have to say that maybe you haven't been given the right medication. There are so many different ones. But that is all I will say about that.

Gabby, you are a very important person, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. You are prescious to this world. You are a very crucial part of the life that we are living. You have a place here. So don't think that you are insignificant. Because you are not. You are worthy, you are special, you are kind and compassionate, and most of all, you are you.

Maybe try taking some long relaxing baths with candles and music. Use oils to make yourself feel better. I notice when I get depressed the first thing that goes is the self nurturing. I really have to push myself to do things to help myself feel good. Do something nice for yourself and quit beating yourself up for everything. You are a good person, treat yourself that way.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/14/2009 2:24 PM (GMT -7)   

Gabby,

I know you don't want to hear about meds etc but the CBT really works if you have not tried it.  The tough thing about depression is you really have to work hard at fighting back.

You are a truly special person and the world is better off because you live and serve within it. 

Just believe in yourself as we believe in you.  Now dry the tears and talk to yourself, reminding yourself that hey, you are a great person and you are extremely important to all of us.

Hugs
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

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Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
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Becky77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 3/14/2009 9:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Gabby,

I'm glad you've come and expressed your thoughts to us. You aren't alone, and I understand the feelings you're having as I've had them before. You aren't a waste though. Sometimes we don't see the reason's we're here, but we have to plug on and one day things make a little more sense. Just because you don't see the point in your life doesn't mean that there isn't one. You just haven't found it yet.

A friend of mine had me list things that I'm happy about in my life. Start with writing down 5 things. It does actually help even though it seems silly. It reminds you that there are good things about you.

Praying that things start getting better for you!
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12; phenergan, ultram, clonazepam as needed


saleha77
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/15/2009 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I am new here so I do not know you(or anyone else) but I do know the feelings.I have never ever wanted to die though.Well maybe in the past, but I never would have acted on it.
For yrs. I would go off/on meds. for depression.I would get better but then slowly slip into despair. (divorce helped,and he was the one who filed,LOL)
I did learn over the yrs.(yes I did have a shrink who tried multiple drugs on me) that I needed to stay on a med. and it took a long time to find the right one. Now that I take one every day(Lexapro) I no longer get in that 'rut',even if my life does suck for the most part. It could be worse,far worse.
The right med. makes a HUGE difference.

JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/15/2009 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Gabby! Please don't let the despair overwhelm you!

I don't want to give you advice or preach to you I just want to let you know that this world and this life having terrible but also amazing things for all of us in it! Do not let the bad blind you to the good. I think a lot of the time all of us just need to allow ourselves some freedom and room to move. Let go of some of your responsibilities and think of the happiness and wealth your life has to offer. All of us here understand how you feel and appreciate you feeling comfortable enough to confide in us. I am here for you so please don't despair, if nothing us we will do our best to help you see the good.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 3/16/2009 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Saleha,

I don't know how I missed your post, but wanted to say that I am glad that the new medication seems to be helping you. It can take four to six weeks to get the full effect, so it sounds like things are going to get better. Take it one day at a time, and I hope that each day seems a little better than the day before.

Good luck,

hugs, Karen

Hello JournalDan,

Thanks for posting. I am glad that you found the depression forum. You have offered some good advice. Thank you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


fanny
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/16/2009 11:46 AM (GMT -7)   

Gabby123,

I cried a lot too. i am now on Zoloft and it has helped so much.

i know the feeling of just wanting to cry all day!

Meds do take that feeling away.

remember you are not alone!!

 

Dottie


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 3/20/2009 12:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Gabby just want to say good for you for getting the help you need.It takes time for the medication to work and not all medication works for everyone so if you have been on yours for a few months you might want to talk to your Dr.I am sending you a prayer and a big ((((((((((HUG)))))))))).
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Surgery to fuse L3 and L4 vertabra Dec. 31,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.


Gabby123
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 3/21/2009 5:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone for your replies and I appreciate all of you.  I am feeling a little better mentally and the despair is not as strong right now, but I'm still struggling a lot.  I have gastroparesis and I just cant deal with this anymore.  After 6 years of struggling with it I just feel like I cant struggle anymore, the pain is just too much for me to handle.  The thought of me being sick like this the rest of my life is just unbearable to me.  I only eat about 1,000 cals a day or less...usually not even that much.  I;m still on the neverending search for a doctor that can help me.  Been looking for over 3 years and havent found anyone.  Im frustrated and sad over this ailment in my body. 
 
-Gabbs

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40565
   Posted 3/22/2009 6:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Gabbs,

I am so sorry that you are suffering so. I don't know if I can be of any help, but wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you. And in time this will become a part of your life that you will get use to. Please know that I am thinking about you.

Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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