Am i wrong????

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eddiebaby
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 3/15/2009 7:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Well its been awhile...Last monday the 10th I come home from work and see 2 boxes addressed to me from my ex...I guess she may not be taking her doctors advice about reconsidering our situation...I have not made any real contact with her since my move back, but when i saw those boxes i tried to call outta anger mostly. I finished a half gal. of smirnoff in record time...(I drink to calm myself) I had to get the courage just to call...I didnt send that letter mostly because there were alot of negative vibes in it...I did write another that was more liberal so to speak, and am still waiting for some reply....

JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/15/2009 7:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Eddie I don't know your whole story but my suggestion would be to.. just let it go.

I could be completely off base but in my experience when a relationship ends it is usually for the best, if love and caring can turn to the point of anger and separation I think it is time for both parties to move on. Now all of this doesn't mean I don't understand what you are feeling, I personally still think about a love that I lost over three years ago because of what we had before it went south was so amazing.

Eddie try not to live in the past, instead search for the worth in the future and the promise of tomorrow. I am here for you and so are the rest of the members.

I would also suggest trying not to drink to solve your problems, it never seems to work (as you might know) and can be a slippery slope into a dangerous problem.

All the best.

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 3/15/2009 7:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Eddiebaby: I hope you will accept this in the spirit I am intending here....I agree with Journal Dan, drinking doesn't help in the long run........I used to do that to calm myself, too, and it made my struggles with depression so much worse. I hope you can find some peace in talking with others here, and hope you will find a way to resolve these complicated feelings about your ex. I can tell you are struggling, and I sincerely wish you the best.

eddiebaby
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 3/15/2009 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Now another thing that I find troubling me alot is that I feel like im fallin out of love with her??? Make sense? I still constantly think about her through out the days, but all thats happened to me in regards to her in the past 4 months doesnt seem like it even occured?? I hate this feeling, I still havent even told my Best friend of 15 years whats really going on...I hate having "only time will tell" as an answer even though thats the only logical one...Im a great friend, I feel that shes just gonna disappear again, I still would like love to give our relationship another shot, but the feeling has to be mutual....Im just lost...and never been in a situation like this befor...

JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/15/2009 8:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Eddie,

I know that the feeling of "love" especially when you are losing someone can feel overwhelming, I am sure you are feeling almost in a panic about no longer having them in your life, but what I have to tell you is that most of the time, once you get past that initial grief of losing someone who was once so important to you, you are able to realize that you are able to move on without them, and continue to lead a happy and productive life.

I'm here for you brother, just keep on trying. I'm sure you are a great person who will be able to find someone else to share your life with.

eddiebaby
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 3/15/2009 8:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Dan, thanks for the reply, I was actually in your thread and you kinda reminded me of myself about 12 years ago...My post here has more to it...Theres more here but i chose not to bump them up. Why...I dont know...I too try and drown myself in activities to side track my thoughts, but when its time for bed, even if im spinning drunk, some thoughts knock me sober and i have to get up and have a cig, take a shot or 2 or something to slow my thinking down all together ....

JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/15/2009 8:37 PM (GMT -7)   
I know what you mean, sometimes I stay up until all hours of the night so that when I hit the pillow i'm just too exhausted to think, otherwise I will just worry myself into anxiety and depression. I think all you can do is try to limit your focus on the negatives. Personally I find drinking and cigarettes don't help very much, but I understand why you rely on them. I had a relationship where I though I would marry the girl, when we broke up it was a really bad break up, all I wanted was to have her back the way it was when I was head over heels for her. I would always remember this one night, the most romantic night of my life, and I just wanted to go back to how we were that day, even typing it now I still miss her, but I moved on and I found someone who makes me really happy. I don't think you can ever recapture the past and to try to do so can lead you down a very bad path. I'd suggest you read The Great Gatsby by F.Scott Fitzgerald. Gatsby wanted to recapture that past instead of moving on and it led him to his demise. I think you need to try and move on and let those memories remain in the past.

mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 3/20/2009 12:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Eddiebaby I just want to stress to you how bad it is to mix depression and alcohol.Take it from someone who really knows what I am talking about it only makes a bad thing (Depression)so much worse.It can not calm your nerves and you run a very big risk in becoming a alcoholic.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Surgery to fuse L3 and L4 vertabra Dec. 31,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.

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