Addiction, where to find help?

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JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/16/2009 8:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Along with my depression and anxiety I think I am dealing with an addiction in the mix as well, is there place here where I can discuss that as well?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 3/16/2009 9:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi JournalDan,

What kind of addiction do you have? We will help you as much as possible, but remember we are not professionals, just people suffering with depression as you are. But we will do the best that we can to give you advice and direction.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Jezzie51
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/16/2009 10:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Don`t know anything available on line but I do know AA has meetings everywhere and at all different times of day to accomodate all work schedules. They also have NA and ALANON for family members. Don`t know what your addiction is don`t care doesn`t matter as long as you recognize it try to fight it get help with it BEAT IT That much it is like depression. Don`t know your location but Delancey house is a great resource too. Went through Crack Cocaine addiction with my sister shortly after death of my first husband and several treatment centers AA was the one that helped her. She is 8 years clean in June and is graduation from Appalachian State (with Honors) and her masters in December 09 in Social Work Her passion is drug addiction because of her past but I just wanted to show you it can be beat and you can come out of it and grow. Luck, Prayers and keep posting. Have already learned are some good people here. Lots of support and caring.

JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/16/2009 10:58 AM (GMT -7)   
As I stated in my other post I have a problem with controlling my sexuality, I worry that I've become addict to it as it effects my life greatly. I always seem to be seeking the approval of women and it seems the only way that is truly satisfying is sexually. I do not go around sleeping with women, I am faithful to my significant other but I think I may have an addiction. It makes me feel bad about myself and sometimes fully occupies my mind

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 3/16/2009 11:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I understand, I went through that about twenty years ago. I was faithful to my husband too. But it was on my mind all of the time. And I think it can be a physical addiction as well as an emotional one. There are ways to take care of that without being unfaithful.

Have you looked on the internet for some help? I am sure that there are places to look. Or maybe you have and got into the wrong areas. So please be careful there.

Though we are not professionals, hopefully we can direct you to the right place to receive some help with this. I know that it is hard for you, it is a powerful addiction. Best wishes, I hope that you are having a good day.

An addiction is an addiction, whether it be alcohol, drugs or sex. I hope that your wife can satisfy your needs.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/16/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen, thanks so much for understanding, I was a bit embarrassed to admit the nature of my addiction, especially being a man. I didn't want to seem like a scum bag.

Yes it certainly is a physical and emotional addiction, and while the physical part can be "self-maintained", I find that occasionally I am very tempted to find more exciting and fulfilling ways to do this. Also the emotional need for the acceptance of woman has led me to dangerous situations where I could easily have, though I did not, been unfaithful. My significant other does her best but I feel like she can't be expected to handle my level of addiction. I am not sure how to handle it.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 3/16/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Dan,

We just have to be careful about what all we say. We know the nature of your addiction, so we will just have to be careful. We do get thirteen year olds on here and risk them reading what we post.

Have you talked to a psychologist about this? I had help from my doctor and from my psychologist. The most important thing that they stressed was not to feel guilty for anything that I did. But mine was pretty much physical, so that was easily taken care of. I was married so I had the emotional part of the addiction taken care of. I wasn't seeking anything exciting. Just taking care of an ache is how I would explain it.

I would suggest seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but I think that the psychologist would help you more. It is something that talk therapy would probably help you with. Are you worried about cheating on your SO? If it is the type of lifestyle that you are think you are going to want. I think that you should perfectly honest with her about it. You don't want to end up hurting her. Plus all of the risk these days with std's and aids.

I hope that you can work this out. You do seem like a nice person and we care about you here.

Keep posting

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Jezzie51
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/16/2009 3:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Do not feel ashamed of having the courage to admit your addiction. As Karen said an addiction is an addiction. Have you tried in depth to help your SO understand the scope of your needs right now? Are there reasonable measures(I`m trying to talk in adult language here you`ll have to read between the lines) you and she could do to help you meet your needs? And sometimes our minds will focus so hard on one thing just to block out others. Our mind just like our skin and other organs has the ability to help heal itself. Please be careful looking for this type help on the internet. Maybe some books you and your SO could read together.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/16/2009 3:47 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Dan,

I  belong to another site that is also in our resources here so I will post a link for you to explore.

The Top Internet Sources for Addictions by Pschy Central:

http://psychcentral.com/resources/Addiction_and_Substance_Abuse/

We will help you as much as we can and I hope you will also find help from the resources.
 
I am glad you are taking a proactive step in healing.
 
Peace,
Kitt
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/16/2009 10:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen,

I think it might be helpful if I heard about how you dealt with your addiction.

I know we can speak entirely freely here so I would wonder if we could find a way to do so.

I don't know how to deal with my addiction and if we could talk about it I think it might help a lot.

I just want to live a good life and not feeling guilty about how I feel or the things I do.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40576
   Posted 3/17/2009 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Dan,

My email address is in my profile, feel free to email me. Though I can tell you that my husband got diagnosed with cancer and the addiction went out the door. I guess because this was so much more important. But like I said, email me if you would like to.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Jezzie51
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/17/2009 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Dan how are you today? Continue to know you have support and encouragement here. My thoughts are with you!

JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/17/2009 11:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Jezzie, I am doing alright. Although I've been dying to relieve my addiction all day. Last night one of my female friends was texting me and I felt like I almost went to far trying to gain her approval. I'm still struggling but today I am distracted with lots of responsibilities. I'll have to take care of my addiction soon though or I won't be able to concentrate. It's sometimes hard to have this type of addiction on a college campus.

Jezzie51
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/17/2009 12:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I can only imagine how hard it has to be for you to handle that with all the attraction that has to be on a campus. Stay on track take matters in hand. You need to not try to gain approval. You need to accept yourself as you are. You only need to live up to yourself. Handle things the best way you can. You can find a way through this. Some people just have a healthier appetite than others. Is this "addiction" one you have decided you have or has someone else told you that you are too addicted to it. I would be interested in knowing if this has been drummed into your head by someone else who may not have as healthy and appetite as you or if you feel you are addicted to it. I mean lets face it a 22 year old male is supposed to have a lot of desires. I know at 22 (even though I`m female) I could hardly get enough. Things were much less complicated then though. Too many bad issues out there these days.

JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/17/2009 12:52 PM (GMT -7)   
I suppose it could be what others have told me, or the way that have reacted to my desires. Also I just accepted this type of criticism because I have just never been satisfied in previous relationships (and current) in regards to my desires. Currently my girlfriend doesn't mind if I go online and find stimulus to help me when she is unable or (more frequently) unwilling to fulfill my desires. I feel like my over appettite has been the causes of some of my relationship problems with friends when I would fullfill my desires with their girlfriends or in past relationships when I had to go elsewhere to feel good. I just don't always know how to control myself, sometimes I find myself wanting to seek a more real stimulus then internet pictures when my girlfriend won't help. It just worries me. Maybe I just need to find someone more like me?

Jezzie51
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/17/2009 5:37 PM (GMT -7)   
It really would help to be compatible in this area as NO it is not all to a relationship but it is important. But a lot of this depends on so many details we can`t go into here it is hard to know if you are unreasonable or hurtful to others in these desires. I truly want you to get help either way. I have read some of your posts to others and you think clearly and offer sound advice and seem to be a nice guy.

JournalDan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 61
   Posted 3/18/2009 10:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Jezzie,

Maybe we could discuss further via email, or a chat program?

Jezzie51
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/18/2009 6:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Would be fine. I will add my email address to my profile and will try to help all I can.

Jezzie51
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 3/19/2009 4:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Added my email

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/19/2009 8:52 AM (GMT -7)   

Dan,

Did you look at the resources I posted for you, also are you in therapy as the forum should never be used to replace therapy?

Remember NEVER rely on information or opinions exchanged via the forums or chat rooms to replace necessary, personal consultation(s) with qualified health or medical professionals to meet your individual health or medical needs. 

I just want you to be able to get the help you need.

Do eamil me if your have any questions re my post.

Take care,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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