Advise on Counselor

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weirdspace
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 3/19/2009 2:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey all,
 
I saw my counselor today after not seeing her in a month or so because of unreliable childcare among other things. Well in the last few weeks I haven't been doing good and I actually hit a all time low this past Monday. I was so depressed and low that it literally scared me. Anyway I had plans to discuss with her about some type of therapy/counseling to work through all of my problems. Because it seemed to me that everytime I saw her in the past that we would just talk about whatever. I just don't feel that taking medication is going to solve all of my underlying issues. And those issues are something that I do want to work through and talk about because I feel that's the only way I'll get over them. So I asked her about it and she really didn't seem like she got what I was talking about, which was a disappointment because how hard is that to understand if your a counselor? She almost acted like my problems were just not severe enough or something. She also tried to "normalize" my feelings which I understood, like for example being a parent is a struggle and everyone experiences those troubles. But I feel like if something is affecting my everyday life and causing me to be depressed shouldn't it be something to be worked through? She just literally frustrated me because I had to explain to her what I meant by therapy. And at the end, we got off of that subject and were just having normal everyday conversation, so I stepped in before I had to go and said, "so what kind of a goal can we set to make this different for me?" She just gave me some activities for me to do on my own but what I meant was a therapy goal! Between her and me. So in any event it didn't go very well. I was very straight with her, telling her I was so depressed monday that it scared me, saying I want to change but don't know HOW, telling her I feel like I'm a broken person, telling her I feel like I don't know how to cope with doing other things then how I've been living my life everyday, telling her I have no self esteem or self confidence. So you can see why it was disheartening to get no where with her. I'll work on getting someone else of course. But I want any of you to tell me what your experience has been with counseling/therapy? Do you feel like your working through your problems with their help? Isn't that what counseling is about? In what ways have they helped you? I'm just curious so I can get an idea of what to look for in a good counselor. And what do you all think about this experience I had today?
Sought help Jan 2009
Taking 100mg Lamictal and 25mg Strattera.
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/19/2009 3:07 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey there,

I had a counselor just like that, all we did was talk about how I was and what I had done that week...........what I had accomplished............just nothing that I could not have talked with a friend about ever came out of the sessions and yes I gave her up.

I went without for awhile and then decided to try again and found a great one who really worked with me........about my thinking, and why I felt the way I did, how to take my sad thoughts and separate them so I could understand them better.

She taught me that my core values had been set when I was young and I had been programmed to have low self esteem and how to get past all the old baggage I was carrying with me.

I had no homework as she said the work would be done in her office and not to go home and try to drain my brain by over thinking every move I made.

She taught me to stay in the moment, and even if my mind drifted toward my old feelings of being  a failure to tell myself that No, I was not a failure, that was just my brain wanting to go back to old beliefs.

I saw her for 6 months and then I made the decision to fly on my own and her door would always be open if I wanted to come back or just needed an oil change.

I hope you can find a therapist that works with you on your issues.

Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 3/19/2009 4:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I have a really good psychotherapist. She seems to answer my questions before I ask them. She is very insightful and helps me a lot. We have never sat down and worked it like a program, she just seems to pick up on my moods and know what needs to be done.

I have gotten on some good medication that has really helped me. I try to practice living in the moment as Kitt has said. That seems to be the one thing that keeps me grounded. Too many times I have worried about the future or dwelled on the past. Things just seem to have a way of working out if you stay in the now.

I hope that you find a counselor that fills your needs. That is so important. Live, love and be happy. That is the best that we can do.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 3/19/2009 5:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Wish,

I have a great therapist, too.....but it did take a while to find her. Don't be afraid to keep looking if you're not in sync with the person you're seeing now. You deserve the very best 'match' you can get!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 3/20/2009 6:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Zapped,

I dont' think that I have welcomed you to the forum. So WELCOME!!!

Everybody here is so supportive of eachother and it sounds like you fit right in.

Though I have found help through medications for my depression, I guess I have to give myself some credit for doing the work. But the medications have helped emmensly.

I hope that you are having a good day.

Keep posting my friend.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/20/2009 9:33 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Zapped,

You lost me at "Hi Wish".  Just kidding and consider yourself now initiated into the HealingWell Family. I welcome you with open arms to our wonderful forum and I am so glad you found us. I am Kitt and if you need any help please do contact Karen or myself.

We do have a welcome/intro thread I will find and pop to the top for you.

Great insite in your post. Thank you for sharing and keep on posting.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


weirdspace
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 3/20/2009 9:35 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you all so much, I have to agree with you skitt and zap, she is just someone that I can talk to like a friend and I can already see just in this last session thats she not willing to do what I NEED. So I have looked in my insurance directory and found 2 psychiatrists in my area. I do agree that medications help tremendously when you find the right ones but I just feel like there are underlying issues of why I am suffering. So I want to deal with them. Zap, I do know about the meds I am taking. And I can honestly tell you I haven't had a good explaination from my Dr. All she said was bipolar but didn't elaborate about what form or give me much info. I had my son with me that day and he was very distracting so I couldn't get the conversation I needed but felt optimistic about the meds. I am seeing my Dr next week because my medication needs adjustments. I've been going through a hard time lately and feel they aren't working although they have helped. I'm a little worried about going because I'm seeing a different Dr because the services that I'm using had a office closer to my home but it wasn't opened yet, so I was going to a further location and now this one is open so I'll see a different doc. I already have plans to ask many questions that I feel are unanswered because I'm really lost about what this really is. It's pretty amazing to me how casual a Dr can be when your really there to understand what your going through, not just to be put on meds. So I'm going to be really straight forward when I go, plus my son will be in care that day. I don't just suffer from depression I have this other side of me too and that's the reason for the strattera. I know that there is a bipolar board but I have more of the depression. Plus I love it here lol!

So anyway another question, the 2 psychiatrists I found are men. I'm a little leary about seeing a man please don't think I'm weird but I think I will be a little uncomfortable opening up because I feel like maybe he won't understand what I'm feeling or going through so to speak. Any advise or experiences? Thank you so much for all of your posts, the information is very helpful and specific to my needs!



Sought help Jan 2009
Taking 100mg Lamictal and 25mg Strattera.
 

Post Edited (wishdreamhope) : 3/20/2009 10:41:02 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 3/20/2009 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Hope,

My psychiatrist is a man and I have had men psychologists. I haven't had trouble with that except for two of them. One was just hard to talk to and the other was too easy to talk to if you know what I mean. I turned him into my ins. co.

But the psychiatrist that I have now is wonderful and I see his nurse for counseling, she is my psychotherapist. So this works out good for me, one always knows what the other one is doing.

I hope that you find a good psychiatrist and psychologist. I know that you are looking hard.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


weirdspace
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 3/20/2009 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks zap, you are very informative and you have nothing to worry about with this board, everybody here is very welcoming and understanding. There is a lot of compassion here and I feel so normal coming here. As for BP I've read a lot about it and even before I went to the doc was wondering if it was possible thats what I was experiencing. The problem I'm having is understanding mania. I thought that I could possibly have the hypomania because I can't relate to full blown mania. Because everything I read about it makes it seem like it's a eurphoric state or "happy", feeling like you can do anything etc. But what I feel is, I have a racing mind, I will talk to myself outloud because there is too much on my mind and I have to have a way to get it out. I can't focus on anything but what I'm thinking about, I feel stressed, tense, irritable and I just can't relax. I feel like I have to be constantly moving whether it's just going in and out to have a smoke, coming back in sitting on the computer then going back out. Or just picking up my house, it seems like I refuse to sit down because my mind is in a frenzy and I feel it physically too. I just can't have a normal day. I've actually had head aches from my mind being in such a frenzy. Once I do finally sit down I'm exhausted. Since taking the strattera it has helped a lot! But I've noticed in the past few weeks it has broke through and come back. I do have that side of me then I'll get severely depressed. So I don't know what that side of me is exactly and thats why I want to talk with the Dr, I don't feel happy at all and I literally hate myself sometimes because I can't stand that I'm like that! It will be hard seeing someone new but I'm just going to be really straight forward because I want answers. And your right about the sex of the therapist, I'll try not to let that bother me, thanks.



Sought help Jan 2009
Taking 100mg Lamictal and 25mg Strattera.
 

Post Edited (wishdreamhope) : 3/20/2009 8:15:33 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 3/20/2009 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Hope,

I was like that. They put me on abilify. it is for bipolar, but a mood stabilizer. It has really helped me a lot. I use to talk to myself and don't anymore. I had obsessive thinking, my mind never quit. But now I can relax and let my mind go blank. It really helps with meditation. It really frees your mind up and it is like a weight lifted off of your shoulders. I hope that you can find a med that helps you. Think about something like abilify to try.

Let me know how things go.

Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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