Suicidal thoughts..

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Doc2007
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 294
   Posted 3/20/2009 11:40 AM (GMT -7)   
I have a chronic illness that has made me very sick throughout my life. for 6 months I have had a bad flare of this disease and am becoming more depressed by the day. I am in constant discomfort and pain. I was sick in 2007 as well and that is when the first sever depression hit me. This time I am just tired of fighting I am so tired and have been contemplating ...I have never felt like this and have always been a fighter through this disease since having it at 14. For some reason I just feel hopeless and that I dont have the will to fight any more.... cry

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/20/2009 1:20:59 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 3/20/2009 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Doc,

 

Here are some depression resources that might be able to help you right now.

 

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com

 

Have you talked to anybody about how you are feeling at this present time?  I think it would be a good idea to call your doctor or somebody close to you to let them know what is going on.  If it gets worse, you should call the ER.

If you would like to, I can go into chat and we can talk for a while.  Let me know.  I will be around for a little while longer.

Karen

<!-- Edit -->
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/20/2009 3:27 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Doc,

Welcome to HealingWell.  You have joined us and to me that says you have reached out for help.  Let us support you an help you through this bad time. 

Tell us a bit about yourself without  going into any details of  self harm. Shae with us your pain, and perhaps just talking will help you as we are here to listen and support but we are not professionals.

Gentle Hugs to you

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Doc2007
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 294
   Posted 3/20/2009 7:58 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you all...for your thoughts and kind words...I am going to see a therapist next week. I feel very empty and just tired...like if I didnt wake up tommorow that would be fine with me...I am so sorry I let myself get to this point...

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 3/20/2009 8:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Doc,

I am so happy that you can see a therapist soon. I take it that you called somebody. I am glad for that.

Yes, times get hard where we feel that we can't go on any more, but there are going to be better days to come. Stick with us, we are here for you. Keep posting as you need to, somebody will always get back to you and try to help.

Sending hugs,
Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/21/2009 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey there Doc,

I understand what your feeling as the struggle with depression each day and dealing with your pain has you drained.  I am so glad to hear your going to see a therapist.

My prayers are with you.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Doc2007
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 294
   Posted 3/22/2009 4:19 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you stkitt...its an overall feeling of living with a chronic illness...I am a person that loves life but I love living it...and being in this state is not living it...all I can do is lay in bed.., I am in pain constantly and am just tired of "Existing". My body does not match my spirit...and since I cant get a new body I wonder if freeing my spirit is the better option for me. I just want to be free...

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/22/2009 4:25 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh Doc,

The world is a better place because you live and serve within it so please know that you are cared for and supported by all of us here on HW.

Chronic Illness and Depression go hand in hand. Depression is a natural part of dealing with a chronic illness. When your body is challenged physically, it often times challenges the affects of your brain chemicals which can lead to depression. Not to mention that with a chronic illness a person is dealing with an avalanche of new experiences both physical and emotional and that can affect their emotional health.

Depression is an illness in itself and combined with other medical issues makes for a truly challenging situation.  Are you on any Antidepressants. How about the pain medications, are they not working at all?

Please keep talking with us.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Doc2007
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 294
   Posted 3/22/2009 4:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Kitt,

yes I have pain meds but they are not working as well as they were 2 weeks ago...I have been in discomfort for a long time...I just had so much going for me...I have a nice job which pays well...I went back to school recently and was so excited about the prospects of life...but I wasnt able to beat my disease and it took a turn for the worse....i am not getting relief and that is scary and exhausting.

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 3/22/2009 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Doc, I am so sorry to read what you are going through. Please know that I am praying for some relief for you! I hope so much that your doctor can find a more suitable pain medication for you, and also that your appointment with the therapist will give you the new ray of hope that you so deserve right now. I wish there was something I could do.....please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

CheerDad
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 3/22/2009 6:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey doc, just wanted you to know that your are not the only one that has had to "fight" a chronic illness for much of their life. I have had Crohn's since I was 12, belive it has been since 5. 8 years ago it almost took my life and there have been serval times since then I have thought why didn't God just take me when he had the chance? I don't know, but I do know for some reason I am still here. I may never know til I have the chance to ask him, but I do know that He stepped in and made sure I stuck around. Sure there are times I am tired of the fight and I want to quit but knowing that for some unknown reason I am still here gives me the strength and courage to face the many difficulties and complications living with a life long disease can bring. It is the only life I know and I have to continually remind myself that I am not its victim. I am a person with the disease, but I am not defined by it. It is not me, but only a part of me. Good luck and hope you find the answers you are looking for.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
 
Randy
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/
Dx'd with Crohn's at age 12. Symptoms since age 5, RLS, Depression, Anxiety, and down right feel yucky some days.
Learning to live with this Disease rather than be its victim after 36 years.

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