Welcome to HealingWell and that is just what we do here is heal.
I see in your post that you did recognize you were being abused by the first man but this new one is abusing you too.
Emotional abuse is the most common form of abuse - & yet least talked about. Part of the reason it is so easy for people to overlook is that so that much of what is considered normal & acceptable forms of communication is in fact abusive. Many people don't know that they have been - or are being - emotionally abused. In addition, a lot of emotional abuse doesn't appear to be severe or dramatic, although its effects can be.
Emotional abuse is a series of repeated incidents - whether intentional or not - that insults, threatens, isolates, degrades, humiliates and/or controls another person.
It may include a pattern of one or more of the following abuses: insults, criticisms, aggressive demands or expectations, threats, rejection, neglect, blame, emotional manipulation & control, isolation, punishment, terrorizing, ignoring, or teasing.
Emotional abuse cuts to the core of a person, attacking their very being. Emotional abuse, if frequent enough, is usually internalized by the victim & leaves them feeling fearful, insignificant, unworthy, untrusting, emotionally needy, undeserving & unlovable & as if they were bad, deserving of punishment & to blame.
My best advice is lose the current guy as he is using you and manipulating you right into the bed. If he has Issues he owns them and you are not his therapy.
Do look into getting some therapy and learning to love yourself first and also try to stop the obsession that you must have a man in your life to complete you. That is only in the movies. Let fate take care of meeting the right man at the right time. It will happen but make sure you increase your self esteem and know you are a worthy person.
Take care and know we are here for you.
Thank all you for your response. I have gotten rid of the guy and have no communication any longer. I did realize he was causing me to react in ways I didn't like. He was disrespectable and I allowed him to be that way. I am trying to work on myself but don't know where to begin. I have not drank in 7 days and I have stayed home and out of the bars this weekend. I'm spending time with myself and watching movies and for the first time in a long time I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything or meeting prince charming. I have a little bit younger guy that keeps calling to hang out and I have a gut feeling that he is after one thing and so I have refused to go there. I feel like that is a giant step for me (respecting myself). I read all the responses and appreciate the feed back. I'm just tired of feeling like I need a man to complete me letting them determine my moods. I used to not be this way but some how I have taken some steps back along the way and have to get the self esteem back for me. I have so many things to be thankful for and I need to start concentrating on the things I have instead of what I don't have.
Most of all, I wanted to thank all of you...your responses are so apprectiated.
Finally stopped by and sorry i missed you but wanted to say I'M SO PROUD OF YOU AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
Looks like you're heading in a much better direction in which you can be proud of yourself.
Happy to hear you're taking care of yourself first.
Hope you come back soon and let us know how you are doing.