So Unbelievably Stressed/Overwhelmed

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TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 3/24/2009 12:14 PM (GMT -7)   
A few of you know how up an down I have been lately..but its really taking a toll on me pretty quick.
 
Im having problems at school, at home, with friends, with myself, my emotions, relationships, and my over-all feelings towards life.
School is just horrible. Im still doing okay, NO IDEA how, honestly. I am not motivated at all and "just dont care" (senior-itis I suppose) But, I really could care less, I have about 2 months left and high school will come to an end. I just cant wait. Teachers are putting added stress on us, not just me, as I have recently learned. (hope this doesnt cause this to become one of those "ah, its just a teen thing") Everyone else is just as sick of school as me, but they seem to deal/cope with it better than I do.
 
I think we all just want to roll up in a ball and cry... Home kind of stinks. My mom has really been on my case lately and doesnt seem to understand that I just want some ME time. I want to be alone. I want to be quiet and just think to myself....My friends are all over the place. Prom is this weekend so everyone is making plans and doing this or that, and I REALLY just want to sit back and say "forget it". I dont want to go, but have already paid and everything. Im really just watching everyone twist around there own stuff and my life is going nowhere.(seems to be)
 
My problems with myself are simply that I dont care much about myself anymore. I dont know why, I am just becoming so careless. Im sick of the road my life has been going down for so long and I hate that I always feel so alone. Or that no one understands me or that Im so much different than others. Or that I just hate the way things have gone for me. I guess I hate the cards I have been dealt. Emotionally I havent been great. Sometimes I feel content...but most of the time I feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, alone, silent, cold. Im really sensitive and emotional, these are things I hide very well. I bundle everything inside me and disregard it to the point I dont even know why I feel the way I do.
 
My relationships with people are weird. For me, its like my friends walk in and out of my life. (not really) But, to me it feels like they are only a part of my life if they are right here with me at the moment...But, if I am by myself they dont really exist. Woah, this sounds pretty stupid reading it back! lol But, Im just really disconnected from reality I think. I watch other people and how they react with friends or how couples are with each other and I feel like that whole part of me is missing. Im sort of talking to someone now, but cant help feeling paranoid about it. Like, if we dont speak for a whole day, I wonder whats wrong and stuff, but I try to remind myself that maybe they were busy or doing something... I also dwell on myself. I just dont think I would be very capable of being in a real relationship because I AM so silent and hidden. Ya know?
 
There is just SO much going on. All the time. I feel VERY overwhelmed. And I know I come here often, every other day its good then bad. Good then bad. Im sorry for that. Its just when Im at school and I cant talk to anyone else and I can come here, I vent. I just need to know that someone actually listens to what Im saying and I get that here more than anywhere else.
 
I also know that this sounds both like an abnormal depression thing, but partly a "teenage" thing. Which bothers me in some ways, but I am willing to accept and see that other people around me feel the same way about school, but that doesnt mean that they disregard their well-being because of that, like me. Maybe I just need a pep talk...or perhaps there is nothing anyone can say or do to make me feel any better. I dont really know. I just appreciate being able to come vent here. Thanks
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 3/24/2009 5:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Christi,

Hi there, I hate seeing you having such a hard time. Try to remember to take things slow and try to live in the moment. I know that you will get through this, it is just a temporary set back.

Take care sweetie,

Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Confusedli
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 3/25/2009 4:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Christi,

Sometimes when I read your posts you remind me a little of myself when I was your age. You are such a thinker. I think maybe thats what makes you feel a little disconnected, because you are so much in your own head. If you know what I mean?!

I think firstly you might feel better once school is over & you are away from that kind of ridgid and controlled environment, what are your plans for after school finishes??
I think you worry too much because you feel that you don't really fit in, as you get older you will carve more of a niche for yourself and you'll fit in with you, try & learn to celebrate your differences rather than dwelling on them.

I think (correct me if I'm wrong) that you are very insecure? You need to learn to love yourself and then you'll be better at building relationships with others. It's easier said than done!!

Things sound like a bit of a roller coaster for you right now - up & down, I sometimes feel like that too, I have gotten better lately at enjoying the ride, but it's hard.

I don't know if this has been of any help to you, but your post struck a chord with me!

Hope your feeling better!
Confusedli
 
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
 
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/25/2009 7:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Christi,
 
You sound a bit like me and how I feel.  I am all over the place.  I can feel really good and then boom, I am sad and I feel isolated and afraid of what may happen to me next.  My thoughts spin in my head. I am very sensitive most of the time and then other times I think I do not give a fig about being left out of things.
 
What about a mood stablizer............are you on one? I am not but have talked about it with my Doc several times however we differ on which one to use and I don't like her choice.
 
Please know you can always come here and vent and know that the members are reading and care for you.
 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt
 
 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 3/25/2009 12:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Confused, you are correct, I am very much so a thinker. I over think everything and probably think about things that others dont even consider. Not really sure why I think so much, I just dont like to let things get by me without a thorough investigation! =]
 
I know I will feel better after school is over because I will have more spaced and freedom, I dont like to be so restricted. Umm..Im honestly not sure what Im going to do. I know Im going to college, already have my acceptance letter and everything. But, I dont know what my major is going to. Im undecided now... But, Im leaning toward something in the medical field...
 
I suppose I would say that Im very insecure, for several reasons.(and some of you may know them) It is easier said than done because I try really hard to be be who I am and to be okay with who I am and everything, but its so hard to do that. For example, my English teacher is making us read The Kite Runner(AMAZING book, I recommend it to any!) but its so incredibly sad and different. So, its an AP class and so we pick apart everything and intellectually discuss everything. So, today we are talking about it and about racism and religion and that kind of stuff. And that always strikes huge fires in school...
 
But, the story affects me in several different ways personally. My teacher asked us if we could EVEN imagine something terrible happening to us at the age of 12 and it affecting our entire lives(like the boy in the story) and that really hit me. On the inside, I was shaking my head, yes, I know what thats like. And it stinks. All these bad things happen in the book and I get it.. It just brings back all the bad things that have happened to me and I hate to read it because of that, but its an amazing story.
 
One of the quotes from the book is says something about how you can't really bury the past because it will always be lurking and building inside you. And it talks about what the boy does with his life to atone himself and everything for his choices and stuff. But, it was a really trying time for me because all I felt was saddness. It just brought so much back to me, even now.
 
Sorry to get off on a tangent like that. Things just have a strange way of creating feelings and emotions inside me that Im not sure so many others experience.
 
And no, Im not on a mood stabilizer. But I have considered asking about that just to see if it would help...
 
Sorry this is so long, that story just strikes me the wrong way.
 
Karen, if I forget to email you in a bit, would you email me and remind me that I have something I need to tell you?!
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


weirdspace
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 3/25/2009 1:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I can so relate to you, I'm a thinker too and it really has destroyed me in a way. I also don't think that your situation is just a teenage thing, you sound very mature and I can relate to your feelings. Your posts always strike me and I never really know what to say but I just wanted to chime in here and say I feel you! I understand and I can relate. Hugs to you! And I hope things start picking up, I also go through the ups and downs, it's hard!
Sought help Jan 2009
Taking 100mg Lamictal and 25mg Strattera.
 


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 3/25/2009 1:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Christi,

I am so sorry to be so short this time, but I am physically sick at the moment, so need to get to bed now. Maybe we can talk some things over if you like, I am a thinker as well, and we might both get some new insights. Just a thought though.

All the very best, and I hope to have some more time tomorrow!

Erik
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 3/25/2009 3:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I just had to say thanks you guys. For understanding, it means a lot to me. Even if no one around me gets me I can always count on you all....very thankful for that! Thanks
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."

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