Dear Cowboy Up,
It feels to me like your wife cares deeply for you but the depression is confusing her as she most likely is having moments of feeling very sad. That makes her feel unworthy and useless and not a Person that could have feelings that are normal.
I know when I was at my lowest point and I was sad and cried alot my daughter told me it was to hard to be around someone who was so sad as it brought her emotions down and she wants to be with happy people. I was devestated and felt I should try to act happy while my heart was breaking.
I was convinced that nobody wanted to be around sad old depressed MOM.
Your wife is showing very positive signs that she will recover if she is willing to go out with you and to celebrate her birthday, she is taking care of your son and she is functioning but she truly needs some therapy IMHO.
I am glad to hear you say you won't give up on her.
I wish you peace,
Great responses from all. I usually save this post until I think it may help family members understand where a person with depression is coming from.
If you're the friend, relation or colleague of a depressed person, it can be very hard to understand exactly what's happening. To sum it up in one word, depression is Hell.
Depending on whether the sufferer is experiencing
Imagine going through day-to-day life, with nothing apparently wrong, but feeling as though every one of your closest relatives has suddenly died, leaving you totally alone. The experience often gets better in the late evening, but returns, just as strong, the following day. Quotes from depressed people compare the experience to;
I see some very postives in your wife's going to school, going on outings with you and to the drive in. This makes me feel like she would really benefit from therapy while she is still able to function.
I hope she is able to get that appointment. I will be keeping you both in my prayers.
Happy Trails, I am so excited...........she picked your song from your wedding. That should make you feel really excited that she is with you but having a rough time. Yes a 5 year program is very draining. Do let her know it is OK to slow it down a bit.
I think the fact that she shows interest in things is very positive so you hang with it and keep on supporting her.
It is still important for you to keep your own persoanlity and if you are a morning person don't try to change........that is who you are. Just give her space.
Hugs at you and smile.
Wow!!! I also believe that her picking your wedding song as a ringtone is a very good sign! That shows that she is still thinking of your marriage as positive even though she can't express those feelings to you at the present time. I'm also a morning person and my wife is not. She needs her sleep. I think your right the stress of all their activitites, the stress of them trying to appear normal to their co-workers, friends and family and the stress of not really being able to get enough rest is what makes them so snippy toward their spouse. Point being, your wife is snippy in the AM which is the time when she is at her weakest and she can't deal with all the negative thoughts. My wife seems particularly snippy when she's getting off from working the night shift. I learned the hard way not to bring up relationship issues at that time. Now I just write her a note telling her that I hope she gets some good rest and that I love her. I have found that using a sheet of paper to write notes to each other seems to help her express her thoughts better.
I pray that your wife will continue to make progress and I pray that you will stay strong and focus on our King of Glory, the Maker of Heaven and Earth as He directs your path.