i think i am over edge

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Lostangel123
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 3/28/2009 5:40 PM (GMT -7)   
confused   cry Hi guys...just for the first part i am new...i am a 15 year old girl from ohio....i was told that i have a case of depression. Its been alot harder on me lately to deal with it.Everytime i do something i feel like i am screwing it up. I made a mistake a few months ago and was wit a friend who stole but i didnt ever since then i have had feeling of        myself...and stuff. I feel i have messed up my life..i have to wait longer to...get my license just because i ended up in teen court. Its awful.....My grades are so bad that i have just gave and thinking about droping out....in about 2 years. I feel like i have disapointed my mom and the rest of my family. I feel no matter what i wont be able to change how much of a screw up i am. I just dont know what to do. I just dont want to have to be sent back to the hospital cuz that makes me feel crazy and makes me wanna just die. Also my mom just had a big big surgrey. She is my best friend so it hurts seeing her go through this and that has made me down too cuz it seems like the hospital doesnt even want to help her. She is the one who got me to come on here and talk . She loves it. I dont know which one she is under cry cry confused

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/28/2009 6:48:35 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 3/28/2009 5:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi lostangel,

I am sorry that you are going through so much right now. I think if you want to do the best thing for your mom, you should try to stick out school. It is so important that you get an education. I know that she would be so proud of you.

I can't picture you messing everything up. Know that you are a special and unique person and play a very important role in life. You are loved by many. Keep trying and keep posting. Are you going through any counseling right now? That might make you feel better. I think that you need the support and all. It would help you with your self esteem and teach you how important you are.

Keep posting, I am glad that your mom suggested this forum.

Take care,
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Lostangel123
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 3/28/2009 5:57 PM (GMT -7)   
i feel...trapped. I was seeing someone for my depression but mom kept droping them. I also feel like i am a pain to my boyfriend which i have been with for almost a year. I hate putting him though my crying spells.They last forever. No matter how much he trys to be there for me i try to push him away so i dont hurt him. But it seems like he feels trapped to cuz either way he feels helpless and i dont wanna talk to my mom about it...i mean she has enough....Also my grandma is dying so this is all so hard on me. I feel like i am watching my life fly out of my hands cry

Trigirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 3/28/2009 7:47 PM (GMT -7)   
It is great that you decided to try this. The people are so kind and do understand what you are going thru.

School is so hard. Like Gettingby said, it would totally make your mom happy.

Sorry to hear about your grandma not doing well. there is a lot to deal with at once. Wow. I'm glad I made it past teenager, it can be challenging in so many ways but now that it is way past for me there were good things too. Friends ect. When I feel the worse I try to appreciate some good things in my life and it gives me perspective. ei.I don't live in a war zone, I have a cool toothbrush and yummy toothpaste, My zits are less than normal, you get the picture I'm sure.

It sounds like you are trying to improve and don't give up!! There are troubles everywhere we just have to climb over them or get under them or break thru them.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 3/28/2009 9:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Trigirl is right, we have to find a way through our troubles. I find that the easiest way for me is to take life one day at a time. It isn't easy, but it can be done. Try to live in the moment, it is called being in the now. Then you stress less over the past and about the future.

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother and that your mom is in the hospital. We are all thinking about you and wish you the best. Keep in touch so that we know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


bluechamomile
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 3/29/2009 4:52 AM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Hi there--I can fully understand how you feel, your dilemmas.  I remember when I was your age and began having all signs symptoms of depression but I took the wrong path to deal with everything.  I kept messing up over and over and back then the mental health system was almost non-existant.  Lots of close people tried to help me but I didn't listen seemed bent on a destructive path.  Now looking back, I'm 53, I can see 20-20 and how if ONLY I'd listened to them, taken meds, been totally putting my health and sanity first AND learning everything I could about depression and coping strategies.  Yes it took me far too many years of floundering not caring enough about myself .  Maybe what you can do is try and project yourself 10 or 20 years into the future and see yourself looking BACK at now and then saying to yourself.....'how did I do, what did I do that had the best results for me"  ?  Feel yourself at 30 yrs old and where you want to be and how much youve grown and learned.  The answers and crucial insight come from within YOU.  Your inner wisdom knows what to do.  I'll check to see how your doing.  Take care :-)

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/29/2009 1:43 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Angel,

Welcome to HealingWell, and I am glad you found us with your Mom's help. 

I sure would like to see you go back into therapy as I think that is what your really need here.  You are very young and you have a lot on your plate with Mom having surgery and your Grandma dying.  You would really benefit from having a counselor.

Could you ask your Mom about going back.  The teen years are tough years but they can be some of the best years of your life. There is so much to learn and do and the opportunities are endless.  Try to put your mistakes behind you and make a choice not to make the same mistakes again but move forward.

Know we are here for you and that we care.

Take care and keep on talking to us.

Kitt

 



 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 3/29/2009 2:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Angel,

I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through. It is an overwhelming experience to have so many struggles at one time. My mom was my best friend, too, so I can understand how worried you are, and how much you care for her. And I can tell how sad you are about your grandma, too. (((hugs)))

This is all an awful lot to deal with at any age, and the fact that you are here posting about it is a great step towards coping with it all. I think Kitt is right about counselling.....I know it has sure helped me a lot. She's also right about trying to put your mistakes behind you. None of us....and I do mean none of us....are perfect. We have all done things that we regret, and we have all done things we are not proud of. However, our mistakes do not define who we are. We always have a chance to move forward and do better, and that is certainly true for you!

What Karen said about taking one day at a time is also so true. Just focus on today, and trying to get through this one day. Take things in small steps.....hour by hour if necessary. Have you thought about maybe talking to a counselor at school about all that you're going through? I know you said your grades are bad, and I'm wondering if the school will cut you some slack and offer you some assistance once they know the circumstances.

You are in our thoughts and prayers, Angel, and we are all here to support you. Bless you.

Lostangel123
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 3/29/2009 7:29 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you guys very much. This is really nice and sweet for u guys to be here for me and the others. I just felt so trapped i didnt wanna put more on my mom and talk to her about this. I cant talk to my boyfriend because i founf out he had depression as bad i do. It just makes him really depressed like me if i talk to him so thats hard. Most my friends just dont get it. I never thought depression would be so bad...like i knew it would tear me up but i didnt know this much. I always wanna be left alone in my room and not really want to talk to anyone. But i have to try to act normal for my mom at the house. But like at home i cry over little things happening and of course small things. Like today i cried for 2 hours my friend sat with me. She is one of the only ones who get it. She is like my sister.i couldnt do it wihtout her. I just feel like there is nothing i can do but cry. I feel so misreable. I think i spelled that wrong

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 3/29/2009 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Crying is actually cleansing. But when it interfers with your everyday life, then you need to talk to somebody. You should be happy growing up so this isn't right. Please talk to a counselor, even a school counselor. I think the support would do you good.

And of course, keep posting here and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Lostangel123
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 3/29/2009 7:48 PM (GMT -7)   
ok i will thanks...i am scared to talk to anyone but you guys. my shcool always want to try to tell mom to put me on alot of meds or hospital and same with counselors i dont see drugging me up or locking me away will help

mythoughts
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 143
   Posted 3/29/2009 8:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, lost angel. Reaching out for professional help can be scary, but it can help. Your family doctor could be a start, or social worker or counsellor at school. Yes, your mom will be involved because of your age, and that's a good thing, because she loves you. She may not be well, but it sounds like your not feeling well, either. And you deserve help, too. The professionals in Mental Health are there for you, as are your family and friends.

Keep us posted on your progress. Wishing you the best.

Lostangel123
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 3/30/2009 4:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Ya i think i am at the point of trying to get help. This is getting crazy i have cried for the past week. Every night if i have a reason to or not. I cant seem to get myself to stay happy. I feel like nobody is doing enough for my mother which makes em bad/depressed. I have lost alot of family memebers in the past 2 years and losing another is really hard on me. Things between me and my boyfriend are well not awful but not good either. Things in life has just been hitting me hard. I feel like i am at the point of just locking myself in my room and turning the music up really loud and staying there for the rest of my life. I really cant take professional help at this time cuz its never helped me before and i dont htink my mom wants to do that if its not going to help me. There is a hospital i might be putting myself in i think it would help me alot. It gives me a chance to work on my problems with people that know wat there doing. I am just scared of losing everything i worked hard to get :(

blueboy83
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 3/31/2009 6:08 PM (GMT -7)   
I too am sorry for your troubles. the good thing is you are young and it is NEVER too late to make things better. stay in school because if you drop out, you WILL regret it. there are programs at school that will help you catch up rather quickly, just ask. also, talk to a counselor or see a doctor regarding your feelings of depression. you will beat this, so hang in there. being young is trail and error.

Lostangel123
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 3/31/2009 7:25 PM (GMT -7)   
yay well things got so much wrose for me i broke my foot and now i am in crutches..so its even harder to do things its awful..this is wat amkes me wanna give up i feel so helpless

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/1/2009 7:30 AM (GMT -7)   
You will be able to endure this, just slow down and take your time doing things. I hope that the pain isn't too bad.

Don't give up on us. You can handle this. You are a lot stronger than you think that you are.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/1/2009 10:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lostangel,

Karen is right.....you are a lot stronger than you might realize! Just make sure to be kind to yourself and take care of yourself through this stressful time. I'm sorry to hear about your injury, and I know you must be feeling overwhelmed.....but you WILL get through this, so please don't give up. You and your mom and grandma are in my prayers.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/1/2009 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Lostangel,

Sorry to hear about your foot sad .  How did you do that dear Angel?

I really think your Mom could be your best friend right now and she has the power and the wisdom to know how to help you get back to counseling.  Tell her a bit of what you share with us and as a Mother I am sure she senses what is going on. 

Please do not isolate yourself from the world.  Crying can be very good.  I let out the tears as with them the sadness washes away and that is a good thing.

Do keep us posted.

Gentle Hugs my young friend.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Lostangel123
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/1/2009 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
well...now i have a serious problem wit my bone in my foot and ya i will keep posting its the only thing keeping me sane

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/2/2009 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   

Angel,

Sorry to hear you have a serious problem...............would you like to share with us what is going on with your foot?

Hugs
Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


snuggleup
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 4/3/2009 4:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Angel,, my baby girl...Please don't be so hard on yourself. I teach in a J.H.S, and have encountered many students such as yourself. I'am pretty sure the actions you've taken are not meant to hurt your mom nor yourself. It's called, growing up, and trying to find and fit in with those you might think are your friends. .Hey, we all make mistakes.. myself included. You need to surrround yourself with positive people who can help you progress academically and socially. Believe me.. improving your mothers health, and your mental well being.. depend on you staying focused, and staying strong. It's never to late to get back on track.. Bless you.. Maritza

Lostangel123
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/3/2009 8:35 PM (GMT -7)   
wats goin on wit my foot...well i am infection on my bone i havent been able to go to school which grades have went down big time

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/3/2009 9:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Can you get your lessons from your teachers and do the work at home? Try doing something like that to keep your grades up.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 4/4/2009 2:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Angel!

I hope your foot is doing better right now.

School can be awful, especially when your grades are dropping, but is school the most important thing there is? By no means I want to convince you to stop or do less, but not getting the best grades won't make you "lesser" than anyone else. I think the most important thing is that you are trying. Just do the things as best as you can, and the result wouldn't mind that much as you know you did what you had to do. Also, there can be days you just can't convince yourself to do homework. Don't beat yourself up on those days. If you can't, you can't, and there is absolutely no shame in that.

We tend to focus on the endstation of everything (like grades), while it can be so much better to focus on the road towards that (the learning part, or the not-learning-because-it-just-wont-happen part). The road we takes decides with what grades we end. And there isn't a thing as a "wrong" road. And I can tell you, this happens just the same with people who get good grades. The people at my school who get the best grades with the least effort are unhappy as well. Those who get high, or low, grades while doing the best they can, those people are the happiest. They can tell themselves they did all they could, and be at peace with the result.

And these roads aren't just for school, they can be applied to everything in life. Please don't beat yourself up because other have "more" than you do. There roads might be flat and easy to walk, whilst yours can have a lot of pitfalls and cliffs in it. They might even be unable to do your road when they have to.

And even more importantly, remember that there are so many people out there who love you for who you are!

I am sorry if this doesn't help you very much, I suck a bit at giving practical advise (ask Karen for that :-) ).

But all the very best Angel, and take care!!

Erik
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 11:28 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,613 posts in 301,037 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151196 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, RAmiddleage55.
284 Guest(s), 12 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
PDL17, Gemlin, 142, bdbbauden, Faustmann, ASAdvocate, Denikeef, Tim Tam, RAmiddleage55, sharron19, Tall Allen, Kristvet86


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer