discrimination combined with global crisis...

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gaby_paola
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/29/2009 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi,

I'm new to this site and I really hope someone can help me. I'm having so much sadness because of everything bad coming at the same time.

I'm living in Spain and it's not easy at all for a south american like me. People here are terribly racist in the worse way... passive. I've been legally living here for 3 years (I came as a student first) and after the 3rd year (by law) I was entitled for a permanent residence if I had a job contract. Not only that didn´t happen, but - having everything they told me to - they said that there was a new law now that said that the government could deny your application and legally not notify you why they're denying it. I appealed and they nicely said that they didn't care. Now thanks to this I lost my job because they didn´t want to have someone with papers problems. So, I married my boyfriend (who has a permission to stay here) but it's impossible for me to get a job because no one else wants to take me because I'm south american. Even people in shops here treat you like a criminal just because you speak differently (even though we speak the same language). I have an impecable CV and I'm an excellent professional, but, some companies even told me that they don't want to hire people from south america because the only thing they bring is trouble (since the media is doing a good job saying that we're a problem). I have no option of going back to my country; my husband also lost his job and we are almost moneyless up to the point that we will soon have to leave our flat and see how we manage to live. So yes, adding the discrimination fact, also now there's a big money problem.

I wish I could go to a doctor and tell this to him but it's economically impossible for me right now. I don't know what to do to get better and I'm afraid my husband is also falling into the same thing. Please tell me how I can face this.

Thank you in advance,

Gaby

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 3/29/2009 4:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gaby,

It saddens me to read your post and to know that you are suffering so much. Are there any free social services, even through a church, perhaps, where you could get some counseling? What about resources at the school you attended? Sometimes they will have support services, even for alumni. I'm afraid I'm ignorant as to what is available in Spain as far as medical or counseling resources for those under economic constraints....so these are only suggestions that have come to my mind. Are you a spiritual/religious person? Would time with a priest/pastor/clergyperson be helpful to you? Are there any immigration services available to you (i.e. government services for those new to the country)? I wish so much that I could offer more support to you! Please let me know what you have already looked into, and perhaps we can think this through together.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 3/29/2009 4:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gaby,

And welcome to HealingWell. I am so sorry for what you are going through. This is terrible. I also am not familiar with the resources in Spain, but can offer moral support.

I hope that you can figure something out soon so that you don't have to leave. I am sorry that things are so difficult for you right now.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 3/29/2009 5:32 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Gaby,  I too am so sorry for all the difficulties you are going through.  Is it possible your husband could find another job?  Also, what are the possibilities of moving to another European country not too far away where you won't find such discrimination and maybe you both can find jobs?  I know it may not be easy but moving may be a better solution.  And if you found jobs wouldn't you both be much happier?  I know you can stay at youth hostels that are very inexpensive until you get settled.  I'm afraid you may become more unhappy if you stay in Spain.  Just out of curiosity what South American country are you from?  And is it possible to move back home?  Do you have family in South America that you can depend on?  I know I don't have much in the way of answers but these are just a few suggestions I am offering to see if they may help you.  Please keep posting here.  You have come to the right place for comfort and support and will always have replies from wonderful, friendly people.  You are in my prayers.  Please let us hear from you again.

Many hugs,

Aurora


gaby_paola
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/30/2009 1:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello Raniah, Karen and Aurora,

Thank you so much for your kind replies. As a matter of fact I'm thinking of finding a way out of Spain and yes, another european country wuold be the answer; it's just that wherever you go there's money problems, so I have to plan it very good so I won't fall into the same thing. Yes, it's sad to hear that you can't find a job not because you are not talented or trainned enough but for where you come from. Sadly, the option of having economic support from my family is not an option anymore because they've been helping me for almost 5 months and they think (and they're very right) it's enough and they've reached their limit (not because they don't want to but because they also have to maintain themselves, which is completely normal and I don't blame them at all) As for my husband, he is working for periods of time, but what he makes is not enough for the both of us to survive. It's almost as if this situation is just a question of showing who has the power and that upsets me so much...

Replying to Aurora's question, I'm from Paraguay. Yes, it makes quite a difference being from there, which is a mall country, than being from Brasil or Argentina. This is also a problem because Paraguay is "in the same bag" of countries that come to Spain for elemental jobs (taking care of elder people, work force, babysitting, etc), like Bolivia, Ecuador, etc. But this is really not my case. I've made a Masters and a Postgraduate degree in my field and I'm more than qualified (I've even studied here in Spain thanks to a scholarship I got because of my achievements in Paraguay); so, you see how this is so frustrating to be rejected just because you're from somewhere else, even speaking the same language?

Replying to Raniah's question, I'm not a very religious person because I had bad experiences with church, where I went looking for counseling and they were just interested in how much money I could leave or how many days a week I had available for being a disciple. I felt it was almost like signing a contract with them. That's concerning an evangelic church; and concerning a catholic church it was even worse because I felt like they gave me a template-sheet question, the same as they give it to everyone else... so, I son't know. I'm very sorry I had such bad experiences with church. I believe in God and I pray every night, but I don't trust church people anymore. Nevertheless I will find out about the alumni support from my University. Maybe they have someone there who can help. As for the immigration support, there none that works here. If there were any it would be a place where you have to go at 6 in the morning to make a cue until the opening time (9am) and then wait for at least 4 more hours (if you don't pass the 2pm closing time). I've also lived in the States and I see that it's SUCH a big difference concerning social services or any service in general. For example here you call to compain about your internet that's not working, that how could that be and they just tell you "well, if you're not happy you can just cancel your account" (of course this is said in a very bad tone of voice)...

I must say that it's not the same all over Spain. The main problem is in the region of Catalunya, where I am (where Barcelona is) and also in Madrid, due to the ammount of immigrants that these regions have. I don't know, I just think it's not good to think less of a person just because you're from somewhere else. The only good thing I can take from this is that now I know where all this bad way of doing things and lack of respect existing in south america came from. I was blaming the continent but now I see that the half native side of us was the one keeping us sane after all....500 hundred years of stealing, raping and destroying everything they could in America and they still haven't learned their lesson...unbelievable

Once again thank you for the concern. You're being of so much help for me right now and it's good to talk to people who pray and care for you. All my love to you,

Gaby

Post Edited (gaby_paola) : 3/30/2009 2:38:15 AM (GMT-6)


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 3/30/2009 9:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi again, Gaby,

It sounds like, despite your circumstances, you have given a lot of thought to your options and are still willing to investigate a little further. That is such a good thing. I'm encouraged to see that you are also open to the idea of relocating if things continue to go in the same way. I can't think of further advice to give you at this time, but I certainly wish you all the best in finding a solution that will help you and your husband to prosper. My thoughts are with you, and I'm very glad that you posted again. Please continue to let us know how you are doing.

Post Edited (Raniah) : 3/31/2009 5:02:18 AM (GMT-6)


gaby_paola
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/31/2009 1:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you VERY much for your support. I will try my best...

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 3/31/2009 5:41 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Gaby,  I understand your situation better now that you have posted again.  Can you move to another region of Spain for a while that is not so discriminating?  Also, you are obviously very intelligent and capable.  So I can understand why you want to use your talents in a good and productive job.  If you and your husband moved to another region could you find some type of work temporarily that will give you income that you can save and prepare for a move to another European country?  I know taking a lesser job is not what you want but if it is for a short time and you can accumulate enough to move away that might be a solution.  Do not feel bad in any way about your feelings concerning church.  I know where you are coming from on this issue.  When I was divorced many years ago, I belonged to a church and because I had no money to make a yearly pledge to the church I was kicked out.  Here I was getting divorced, had no money, was raising 2 babies and all they cared about was how much money I could give them.  I still believe very much in the power of prayer and I have my own spirituality, so I do sympathize with your situation.  Have you tried the university you attended to see if they can help you find a job? I know you said your family has helped you before.  Would they possibly be able to help you again just to make a move and when you find your job you could pay them back.  You seem like such a considerate and kind person.  I wish I could think of somemore ideas to give you but maybe what I have said can help a little.  Please take good care of yourself and post again so we know how you are doing.  My prayers are with you.

Many hugs,

Aurora


gaby_paola
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/1/2009 3:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

Thank you very much for replying. Wow, so you've been through the same thing with church. It's unbelievable how money corrupts people, even the apparently holier ones. Anyway, about the job there's an important factor, which is the fact that this region of Spain is the richest one in the country, so a lot of people from other regions come looking for work here. That discouraged me a bit to search for jobs outside Cataluña, but you're right. I should check out other things. about doing other jobs, I really don't mind doing whatever. I don't make less of other jobs, whatever these jobs might be, but it´s just that I'm at the point where shops or companies don't want to hire me for something else other than my profession because they say I'm overqualified, but at the same time I can't find a job in my own field because there's thousands of people searching for the same thing. So it's like the chicken and the egg. I asked my university for help, but they told me that it's a hard time with the crisis and everything going on economy wise globally. But let´s see what happens.
about leaving Spain and search for a job inside de EU, I'm trying to convince my husband about it. The thing is that he came from another EU country to work in Spain as a challenge, and now he doesn´t want to leave until he achieved his success. I know, it's a little too selfish of him but, as I told him, sometimes you just have to step down the horse and be realistic. Now he was called from another country for a one week job so that's good. Let's see if that brings more luck to the situation.

Once again thank you for your care and support. I wish you all the best; you seem to be a very strong woman so I really take your advice in the best of ways.

Have a great day,

Gaby

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 4/1/2009 5:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Gaby, I'm glad to hear your husband found a job in another country.  Maybe it will turn out to be more permanent or he will look for other things in that country.  I know how hard it must be for you to have such wonderful qualifications and not be able to use them   Don't give up hope.  You will eventually land on your feet and find the work you are good at.  In the meantime, do consider another job just to get some income and make a move.  I have been through much in my life.  I had a husband who left me with 2 babies to raise (they are now two of the finest young men), I managed to keep our household going.  I got a very good job, worked for 25 yrs., had to take in my elderly sick mother for 10 years.  When I finally decided it was me time I found out I had cancer.  I am almost a 5 yr survivor.  I have landed on my feet even though I battled depression for many years.  I think all things are possible when you have a positive outlook and keep in mind that God is looking out for you.  When you have a chance let us know how things are going.  I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

Many hugs,

Aurora


gaby_paola
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/2/2009 1:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

It is an honor for me to be help by such wonderful people. You can't imagine how much you helped me and I will sure be putting the signs of progress once I have them. I also want to thank you for sharing your life with me and I can just say again that you are a wonderful and strong woman. Congratulations on your children! I'm sure they are everything you say they are :-)

Lots of love,

Gaby
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