My depression and anxiety came back and hit me very hard this weekend. I've been weaning off Lexapro but I think I need to go back to my 5mg dose for a while. I didn't get off the couch all weekend, couldn't sleep and had 2 major anxiety attacks last night.
I know this is related to my sisters death and being upset over the weight gain due to the antidepressants. I just feel trapped. I was able to postpone my mid-term until after the funeral but it didn't matter because I failed it!!! I've NEVER failed an exam before. I was devestated. I just looked at the computer screen like the grade was going to change. I went home and ate a whole plate of brownies. I'm having all the old aches and pains, fear of working out (heart beating fast)that I had when I was first diagnosed with depression. I cried last night at 4am for NO REASON.
I'm going to start a new fitness program and give up sugar, gluten and junk foods for good in order to try and get this weight off. I know people say its so hard on the meds but I have to do something. Being 25lbs overweight is only making me MORE tired and depressed!
I really thought I had beaten this thing. I guess I don't understand this illness at all.
Dee-39yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC/PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression/myofacial pain syndrome 2009-750mg colozal/.750mg clonazepam, 5mg Lexapro-1,000mg canasa/Fioricet/Prilosec OTC-2x daily, Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4
Post Edited (P-Fit) : 3/30/2009 2:17:01 PM (GMT-6)