I need help understanding myself...

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/31/2009 11:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Recently i have had really bad days, i just cry and worry all day. I worry that my girlfriend of three years is going to leave me... but she gets mad at me for worrying about that because she says its not going to happen, but its her getting mad that makes me feel this way. I have no idea why but im not like any other guys in my town, im the only guy who crys and shows emotion and i wonder if thats normal or not. I have been seeking proffesional help and i have not felt better. PLEASE help me....

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 3/31/2009 11:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey there,

Sounds like things have been upsetting to you, and that can cause built up emotion. It is not abnormal to cry even in a guy, so do not worry that it is. My husband gets the same worries as you, that I am going to leave him. I don't know where it comes from, maybe because I spend a lot of time with depression myself, and he somehow panics thinking it's because of him. An insecurity that I'm going to leave him makes him feel this way.

Is there anyhting that could have made you worry about your gf, have you had an argument that you can't forget? Sometimes something like an argument playing on your mind for a while, can make you think your partners going to leave, when really they haven't even give it a thought.
Trying to find the trigger to you feeling this way, is probably the first step to working out how to make you feel more secure.

I hope things feel better for you soon.
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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 3/31/2009 11:55 AM (GMT -6)   
I sometimes feel the exact same way, except I'm married (for 8 years) with a 5 yo daughter. Be grateful that kids are not in the equation right now for you. See a doctor who can definitely help you get better. Also, have a heart to heart talk with your GF to see where this relationship is headed. It is normal to cry, but when the crying becomes common get some help. I send you positive energy.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18548
   Posted 4/1/2009 1:51 AM (GMT -6)   

to to92.

jamiee, 37, male. i cry, and i cry some more. i no longer worry about it, as it is very carthartic 4 me, yeah i am emotional, for me it releases stuff that would only intensify. blokes have feelings too, we laugh, we cry, we bawl and we mask. underneath it all we are all flesh and bone, and if we were not meant to cry then we wouldn't have tear ducts, and a heart.

stay strong. jamiee smilewinkgrin

iddm, major depression, severe borderline personality disorder, diabetic nuropathy, (feet) severe water works, hormone deficency, and other bits!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/1/2009 12:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear What2Do,

I'm sorry for what you are going through. And I don't think it's abnormal for anyone to cry! I think it's a healthy way of expressing emotion and releasing stress. That being said, if you find that you are depressed and crying all the time, you really should reach out for help. It sounds like maybe your doctor/therapist/counselor (the professional you referred to) is perhaps not a good match for you. Is it possible for you to see someone else?

Please keep us posted. We care about you and support you.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/1/2009 1:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum.  Boy cry too. Your human and you have a right to shed tears. If you are finding that the sadness is overwhelming you perhaps you should check in with your physician and have a good physical check up to make sure you do not have any medical issues going on to cause your mood changes.
Please remember we need to learn to love ourselves as we are important people.......... we are our own best friend.
I am glad you felt comfortable coming here and talking to us.
Again a warm welcome.

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&  Moderator GERD  Forums

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