What is wrong with me?!

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blueboy83
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 3/31/2009 9:31 AM (GMT 0)   
I've gone through a hellish month. I've been on Paxil for generalized anxiety/depression for 9 years (I'm 25 now), and have gone through bouts of the "blues" before. Nothing like this ever, though. I also have asthma and was placed on Singulair a few weeks prior to this nightmare. I heard that this med was bad news for depression, but I was desperate to get relief from my asthma. Sure enough I started to feel "not myself". It seems that I began to be more obsessive in my way of thinking, and dwelled on negative thoughts more. Then I started thinking of past stuff I'd done wrong and felt the need to talk to my pastor. I just kept dwelling on my own black hole and shut down completely. I didn't eat, would go to work and cry, and would go home to sleep. I felt better after speaking to my pastor and stopped taking the Singulair, but I still feel abnormal. My doctor raised my dosage of Paxil and I'm waiting for a change in my mood. I feel better when I talk to someone, but when I'm alone my mind starts to become negative. Another problem is I'm nearly always alone at work! I'm isolated from people and have little to do for long periods of time. Plus, being there reminds me of all the anguish I've experienced within those walls. What do I do? How do I lessen the bad thoughts and move on? I think I need therapy and a change of scenery:(

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 3/31/2009 9:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Therapy sounds likd a good option. I think we could all use that once in a while. It would help you. Also a mood stabilizer would help with the thinking of the past and worrying about the future. You need to learn to take life one day at a time. That really helps.

I take singulair and it doesn't effect me emotioinally. It only helps with my allergies. So I don't think that it would cause depression. But I could be wrong about that. It could be a side effect that some people have.

I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting as we are here for you. Are you going to any type of counseling? That is another good option.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 3/31/2009 9:46 AM (GMT -7)   
From your post, I would say that seeking therapy may be a good idea for you. Maybe feeling so isolated so much of the time, means you aren't clearing your head of things, or having enough time to talk it out. Maybe a counselor would make that a bit easier for you.

Have you got another asthma medication to control your asthma symptoms? I suffer from asthma myself, and find that for me Serevent inhalor seems to do a lot to keep it under control, meaning I don't need Ventolin as often. I think sorting your asthma out is also important, because I know from experiance that not feeling your best can have a big impact on how you feel mentally.

I hope the Paxil change works soon. Sometimes anti-depressants can just stop working, after years of working great. Maybe the dose increase will be enough to kick start it back to helping you again.
 
Hope you're feeling better soon
 
Gem


Moderator of the Cystic Fibrosis Forums
Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Osteopenia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
Medication: Creon 10,000, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Paracetamol, Ondansetron, Nefopam, Ursodeoxycholic Acid,  Lofepramine, Slow-Sodium, Azithromycin, Ciprofloxacin, Omeprazole, Tobi Ineb, Fresubin Liquid Feed, Skandishakes. I use PEP device as my physio.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since Nov 05
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Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder - then I get scared and run away.


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 3/31/2009 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Blueboy, I am sorry you are having such a difficult time right now.  I understand very well the feelings of lonliness and isolation.  Is it possible to be moved at work where you can be around more people?  If they can place you in an area where you are surrounded with other co workers you may feel less isolated.  You mentioned you have asthma and were on singular.  I too have asthma and I use a long term inhaler called symbicort.  This med has been a god send for me.  My asthma was so out of control, I was using albuterol rescue every day 4 x a day and that wasn't good for me.  I went to a pulmonologist and had all the lung function tests and from the time I started the symbicort I have been able to breathe freely.  My asthma is not cured but is well controlled.  You might want to ask your dr. about this.  I do not have any feelings of depression from this med. In fact, I feel better because I can breathe.  As far as the lonliness, do you have friends you can do things with or talk to?  Maybe you can join some kind of group activity where you will meet people.  I know it takes some effort to do these things but isolating yourself won't help.  If you can talk to your pastor again I think that would help. Does your church offer any activities you can join? There is also a depression chat group here on Tuesdays.  You can look at the right of your screen to see the chat schedule. You can go on chat at other times too.Just a bit of advice that has helped me is not to dwell on the past.  The past is gone and you cannot change it.  Try to concentrate on just the present day and if you have something coming up in the future to look forward to think about that.    You can make some very good friends here.  I urge you to keep posting.  Let us know how you are doing.  This is a very caring and understanding group and will do what is possible to give you support.  Take care.

Aurora

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