Need help with my son

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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 4/5/2009 1:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I have postd before about my son who lives with me and has epilepsy.  He is a total germaphobe.  He has developed very bad OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder.  It takes him at least 2 hrs or more to get dressed in the AM because of his OCD rituals and routines.  He is late for work every day.  He says no one notices but I think he is fooling himself.  Everytime I try to talk to him about this he cries and says he'll do better. He says he will get up at 4AM just to be ready. I told him that is foolish, he needs his sleep as sleep deprivation can cause seizures.  I sent for info from the OCD foundation but haven't had the right time to give it to him.  Also, I am not looking forward to the huge fight he will start.  Then he will say he is naseous and dizzy and has to lay down.  He is working with an epilepsy couselor but they still have to deal with the OCD.  I don't know what to do to help him.  He won't listen to me. Every time I try to talk to him about this he cries and starts a big fight which totally gets me so anxious. There is not an OCD forum here so that is why I posted here where I usually do.If he loses his job he will lose his drug coverage and his meds cost about $3000 a month without insurance.  I have told him all this yet he just can't face it or he thinks nothing will happen.  I am a wreck.  Every morning when I see him leave 15-20 min late I get a knot in my stomach and my day is ruined.  If any one has experience with OCD or knows of how I can get help I would really appreciate your replies.  This is ruining my health.
 
Aurora

stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/5/2009 2:52 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Aurora,

I am sorry this is ongoing for you and I wish I had magic words to make it better.  Behavior therapy is currently the non-pharmacological treatment of choice in the treatment of OCD.

Finding the most effective medication is important and useful. A series of trials on different medications is not uncommon. Psychiatrists can prescribe medications for OCD.  Is your son on medication or did I miss that part somewhere? Seroquel has been found to be helpful in some patients. Luvox CR is another drug that I have read helps people with OCD.

CBT is often the best  therapy. 

Deep Brain Stimulation is being hailed as one of the new promising treatments for people with severe OCD.  I am not a professional but these may give you some ideas on what to talk with your son's doctor about the next time you have the chance.

Peace,

Kitt


 

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Aurora60
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 4/5/2009 3:12 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for your help, Kitt.  CBT seems to be the only way we may be able to accomplish anything with my son.  Because of all the epilepsy meds he is on he is not able to take the OCD meds that help as they can cause seizures.  I too meet with his counselor and she tells me to ignore his behavior, not to say a word about getting to work on time and letting him figure it out.  If he loses this job he will be in real trouble because he may not be able to find another one.  This school hired him because he went to school there in junior high and the principal new him well and liked. him.  She is no longer there.  There is not enough money to afford his meds so he will have no choice but to take generics and hope they work.  He can get cobra insurance for 18 mos. but when that runs out if he doesn't find a job he will have to go on medicaid and I know that is not good.  Also, if this happens this spring it is really going to create problems for us since my younger son is getting married and we are trying to concentrate on those plans and not have anything else interfere or cause problems. I am just so upset.  I have searchedd the web for info on OCD and there really is not a lot out there.  It is a problem few admit they have, it is just swept under the carpet. If any one else can help me please reply. Thanks.

Aurora


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 4/5/2009 6:34 PM (GMT -7)   
HI Aurora,

I would do as advised and just let him learn. Actually medicaid insurance copays are cheaper than insurance when it comes to medications.

It seems like you have a lot weighing on your mind and it seems to be making you very anxious. I remember about a month ago you had this same situation going on. They haven't fired him yet. That is a good sign. Maybe they understand some way and don't mind if he is late. Have they said anything about it. Worrying about it is only going to make your anxiety worse and you will become more depressed. Let him learn. Hopefully they wont do anything as long as he makes it in when he does.

I hope that this all works out for the best. I still haven't had a chance to talk to my daughter in law about it. When I talk to her next I will see what she has to offer with advice.

Hugs Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18757
   Posted 4/6/2009 4:45 AM (GMT -7)   
dear aurora, an adult friend of my is being treated with seroquel for his rampant ocd. his term. would worry about deep brain sitimulation though with epilepsy, family members and friends have severe epilepsy and i have been told that it may incresae the severity of the seizures, me no doc either, just passing on suggestions. good luck, keep posting, and stay strong. healings to you both. jamiee.

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/6/2009 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

I can tell by your post how upsetting this is for you, and I am so sorry for what you are dealing with and how it is affecting you. I can't really add to the advice you've been given re: the OCD, but I do hope you will be able to find a way to release that stress after your son has left the house in the morning. It's awful to read that the struggle you go through in the morning with him is ruining your day and ruining your health in this way. :-( I hope you will be able to find some better support for your son's condition, and support for yourself as well. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 4/6/2009 8:29 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you all for your replies.  I know that my son cannot take any other medication because of his seizures.  And Karen, I am sure medicaid copays are less, however, medicaid probably only allows for the generics and I have read about the generics for his meds and they are not made to follow the same guidelines as the brand. They are not up to standard. And this has also been told to us by his neurologist and he has never allowed my son to have generics.  I contacted the OCD foundation where I live and they gave me a link to some support groups so I am hoping this will help.  I know I have posted on this before - my problem is that I am so tortured by the whole situation that it is difficult for me to lead a normal life these days. And I have times when I can't even stand to look at my son knowing what he is doing that could ruin his life.  He won't allow me to talk to him, he gets so nervous and says he has headaches and is dizzy so we have to stop the talk. All I can do at this point is give him the info and hope he doesn't go nuts on me.  I ordered 2 very good books on OCD and hope he will read them.  You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.  And, luckily so far no one has mentioned letting him go. He is late but he take no days off and is devoted to the kids so I hope they will see this as a good thing for the school. Again thanks for your help and please excuse me for being repetitious.  I guess it comes from being so stressed.

Aurora


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 4/6/2009 8:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

You can get medicaid to pay for brand name drugs with priorauthorization, if I spelled that right. I know what you mean about the generics not being as good. They say that they are, but from experience, I know different. Hopefully it wont come to that point.

I hope that the school continues to let him come in late. I get a feeling that it is okay with them. He must do such a good job that it doesn't matter.

Aurora, you are such a special person, don't ever worry about talking about the same thing more than once, it is obvious that it is important to you and we are here to suppport you no matter what. I just wish that I could be more help. I wish that there was a majic spell that I could put on your family so that everything would be perfect for you. But there isn't, so the best I can do is try to be there for you the best that I can.

Keep your chin up, pray, and hope for the best. As long as he doesn't come back home saying that he lost his job, everything will be fine. I just worry about the anxiety that it causes you.

Take care my dear friend,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 4/6/2009 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Aurora,

I don't know much about OCD or what they do in order to make it easier, so I can't be of much assistance there. But I believe you are a wonderful and compassionate person that is doing everything in your might to make the life of others happier, and I want to thank you for that!

Aurora, maybe there is something you enjoy doing, something to take your mind off things. I know it can be hard to see others doing stuff you'd rather not see them doing, but you did your best, so don't beat yourself up over that. It won't help anyone, and you simple deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else. Reward yourself for that, maybe visit a beauty salon, or whatever women enjoy doing :-).

Take care, and all the very best!

(((hugs)))!!

Erik
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 4/6/2009 1:09 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you Erik for your caring response.  You have been such a good friend and I appreciate how much you do to help me.  I think we both are good at helping each other.  I think you are an amazing person.

Dear, sweet Karen,  your post has helped me to feel so much better.  It is such a relief to know that pre authorization from the dr. to medicaid will take care of getting the brand meds my son needs.  You are right about my anxiety.  I am trying to overcome these bad feelings. I know I should not worry about his job until and if anything should happen.  He says no one notices when he comes in because they only get together starting at 8:45am in the gym.  And my son is supposed to wait outside for his class to arrive before going into the gym so hopefully I am worrying for nothing.  I am going to see my regular therapist tomorrow and she is wonderful and always helps me.  I am going Wed. to see the epilepsy counselor that both me and my son see separately.  She knows a lot about OCD so I am hoping she can clear up some things for me.  I did join a parents support group for adult children with OCD so maybe that will help.  At least I can say I am putting effort into this.  If only I would put less effort into worrying!  Many thanks both Erik and Karen.

Hugs,

Aurora


blueboy83
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 4/7/2009 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I can see your love is feirce for your son. you are just like my mom who suffers right along with me. I hope that your son's employers are aware of his condition and can give him some leniency. God bless you and your son. I hope he can get his condition under control.
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