new member looking for some answers

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

abs072889
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/9/2009 2:30 AM (GMT -7)   
As the title says I am new to this website, I actually just joined today. I am looking for some help, but in order for some of you to possibly help me I will tell you some of my background.
 
I am 19 years old and have suffered from depression for about 5 years now. On March 24th, 2004 (I was 14) my best friend, who I had known for 8 years, died. This was a very hard thing for me to handle, I still was struggling with it in august of that year when my dad told my mom he had been cheating on her for the past two years and up and left us. I, then became very depressed.  I was very good at hiding my depression the only person I confided in was my new best friend, Sarah, who helped me through my other friends death and my parents divorce. Then in November 2006, Sarah also died. At this point my life spiraled out of control. I just wanted the pain to go away. That began my inpatient rehab. I was in the hospital 5 times for 5 days each time throughout the next year and a half. After getting out of the hospital the last time i began seeing a counselor. I began to recover slowly. I still suffered from depression.  After some time I stopped going to see my counselor, and continued to do very well. A few months ago however I began to become more depressed again.  But this time I am experiencing something I didnt experience before, which brings me to what I need help with. I am wondering if any one of you has had something you really wanted to do, something you enjoyed and looked forward to doing but every time you had time to do it you continually put it off, and could not explain to yourself or others why you couldn't bring yourself to do something you know you would enjoy. Have any of you experienced this? I am not sure if it is just me or if other people have been through this? If you have experienced this or something like it, do you have any idea how to remedy it? Any help would be appreciated..I am sorry for the long introduction, but I thank you so much if you took the time to read this. Thanks in advance for any help you may give.
~Abby
 
Edit: I am sorry for the multiple edits.  Please review the rules and guidelines of HW. Thank you for your understanding.
 
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
 
Kitt
 

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 4/9/2009 6:49:29 AM (GMT-6)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/9/2009 5:57 AM (GMT -7)   

abs072889

Good Morning and welcome to HealingWell and the depression forum. I am sorry to read of the tough times you have been through.  Your story is very similiar to many others we have had recently so I am sure you will be hearing from other members who know where your coming from and what your going through.

May I suggest that you do seriously consider finding a new therapist, one you can build a trust relationship with, and that you start to take one step at a time to get past the depression.

Again a warm welcome to you.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic 
Co-Moderator Depression
  Forums

*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/9/2009 8:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Abby,

Sweetie, I am so sorry for your losses. I agree with Kitt, I think you need to see a new therapist. Therapy can really help you through this tough time.

Know that we are here for you. And will try to direct you to getting some help. You are a wonderful person, always remember that.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


abs072889
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/9/2009 10:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much. Maybe I should see a therapist, but I have no way to pay for it..I am already struggling with money issues and I have no insurance.

enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 4/9/2009 11:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Heeja Abby,

To answer your question, yes. I am also 19, and find myself frequently in the position that I really wanted to do something, but end up not doing it. However, I do know the reason behind it, since I am "afraid" of people. I feel uncomfortable around others I don't really know that well, so things as parties where I want to see some people can be ruined because there will be others as well.

But that is OK, it is OK not to do things. If there is an uncomfortable feeling when you want to do something, it is still there. And that alone is enough reason not to do something. And even when there is no reason at all, no gut feelings, no negative emotions, no nothing, it is still OK :-). You are a special person Abby, and whatever you choose, it is your decision. When others don't understand you it is OK, because they are not you. When others do understand you, it is OK as well, as they might comfort you. It is too easy to beat yourself up over things like this, but would that help anyone?

To tell you a story, for a while I was in doubt of every party I got invited for. And all that stress made me not to go to some. I would beat myself up over that, because I was so stupid, cowardice, whatever, not to go. After a while, the word party was infected by my negative associations, and I would reject an invitation as soon as I got it, just to be done with the stress. It didn't help me as I felt worse after every rejection, and even worse when the invitations stopped coming. It didn't helped the other who invited me. It is simply not helping anyone to beat yourself up over it. And even though it is hard to commit, maybe you could try to accept what you feel and what you do. You are not worth it, they are not worth it either.

My apologies for this writing, I am enormously tired and my brain is shutting down :-). Reason has forsaken it, so it seems.

Take care Abby, and all the very best!!

Erik
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)


Wasted-Potential
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 4/9/2009 11:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Abby,

What you said about your friends dying really hit home to me. A month after your second friend passed away I lost my best friend in tragic circumstances. Like your two friends, he helped me through a lot of tough times and it feels like I've lost a brother instead of a friend. My life spiralled a little too. It's understandable when someone who has supported you through such a hard time in your life has gone and there was nothing you could do about it.

You need to stick it out with therapy. I know it's not going to be nice but it will benefit you in the long run. As you showed when you relapsed, it's an ongoing process. Keep your head up, you're in the right place for moral support and advice.

Take care

Rich

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/9/2009 3:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Abby,

You've already received so much great advice......but I wanted to post and offer my best wishes and support to you, and to encourage you to keep posting. This is a wonderful community. Please hang in there, and know that we care about you. ((hugs))

2longMom
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/9/2009 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi,

I joined the forum today too looking for some answers....It sounds like you have had a tough few years and as a Mom of a depressed teenager I feel for you. We too are having a tough time and I know exactly what you mean about not being able to do what is best. Lately I have trouble with the things I love the most. somehow for me I feel like I don't deserve to paint, or exercise or whatever as long as everything else for my family isn't worked out. I know that that is self defeating behavior but it happens everyday... some days are better than others and it does seem to depend on my mood. My mood seems to depend greatly on my body cycles too so as women we have so much to balance.

I am the mom in a family of boys and we have had some challenges too in the last few years. i would love the opportuntity to talk with a young lady who is more in tune with emotions etc.

 

d

 

 

 

 

 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 4/9/2009 5:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi d,

Welcome to the HealingWell depression forum. You will find that you will receive a lot of support here as all of the members are wonderful.

Have you thought in the lines of, maybe if you do something nice for yourself, you would be able to do more all the way around. I like to paint too, but find I paint more when I am depressed. I think it is instintive to want to release and that is the only way I seem to be able to besides talk therapy.

Maybe you could try putting aside an hour or so just to paint. That might make you feel better.

Either way I hope that you have a good night and a wonderful day tomorrow.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


abs072889
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/11/2009 2:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all so much. It means a lot that so many people have responded to my post. I have tried support forums before and I gave up because no matter what the subject of your post was it seemed no one would ever respond. I feel that my two best friends deaths were my fault. I have worked on realizing they aren't since they happened, but no matter what I always come back to the conclusion that it was my fault. I can sympathize with you and the painting. I absolutely love to write. I wanted to be a famous author since I was little, but when my depression started in high school I hated everything and i pushed my writing aside, feeling like I was no good. I started to like accounting class in school, so when I graduated I began college for that. Unfortunately I flunked out because my heart wasn't in accounting, it was and always will be in writing. Although lately I find myself too depressed to even write if that makes sense. All I do is work and sleep, when i am awake and think hey I wanna write, Then i think no, ill do it later and go back to sleep and every time its like Ill do it later. Why am I putting off something I love sooo much?

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/11/2009 3:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Abby,

Yes, this is a great support forum, and I'm so glad you came back again. :-)

I think lacking the motivation to do something you previously enjoyed doing is a pretty common symptom of depression. I mentioned this to another poster not too long ago, but I'll say it here, too: sometimes the 'doing' has to come before the 'feeling like it', especially when you're depressed. You may find, if you put even five minutes into writing each day, that a little of that interest comes back to you. There are times when I feel like I have to really push myself to get involved with my creative outlets and favourite things, but honestly, once I get started and spend a few minutes, it does get easier to 'get into it'. Some days I'm better at this than others, but I never regret doing it, and I'm usually pleasantly surprised.

I hope you can find some affordable counseling, too, as it seems to me, from reading your post, that it was helpful to you before and probably would be again.

Stick with us, Abby. We're here for you.



Hi 2longMom,

Karen is right....you deserve to put some time aside for yourself and the things you love to do. It's hard being a mom and feeling like you have to fill everyone else's needs before your own. However, I think it's important to give to yourself, as well, and by doing that, you're also giving your sons a happier and healthier mother!

I hope you'll come back and post to us some more.

abs072889
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/12/2009 2:15 AM (GMT -7)   
So I'm really looking for a friend right now. Today everything just spun out of control. I have no idea what to do..and not sure who exactly i can talk to. I would rather not talk about it on the forum though where everyone can read it. If anyone cares to talk to me just let me know. If not that's okay. Thanks for all your support.

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/12/2009 3:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Abby,

You're welcome to email me if you would like. My email address is in my profile.....just click on my username and it will come up.
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 03, 2016 11:20 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,413 posts in 301,016 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151181 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, carol9.
246 Guest(s), 8 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
carol9, desert bound, Serenity Now, Girlie, ggfgfgfdgfgdd98, gdftggfdgfdgf21, pressurehead, TreasureTomorrow2904


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer