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Rock bottom
New Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/10/2009 1:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Ok I am very new to this - I went threw a very nasty divorce 9 yrs ago I have 2 daughters now 20 and 16.  I got sick of all the brain washing and head games I just gave him custody.  He was a bad man and still is.  since then I met a new man.  we been dating 3 yrs.  during this time my father which was my world had a stroke and turned into a very violent man so I asked my mom never to bring him around no more now non of my family talks to me.  my youngest daughter is so severly brain washed she hates me.  while I was married all my friends stopped coming around cause he was unbareable.  Now the I lost my job and I can not find a new one.  my car blew the transmission, I have no money so I depend on my b/f who cheats on me all the time!  everyday he goes to work.  just recently I think there is something going on with him and my 21 yr old daughter.  I Love him and he tells me he loves me yet I catch him with other woman all the time.  and I can not do anything cause I have no where to go no family no friends, no money, no car.  I have nothing.  and I just want to die! I hate my life!  do you have any advice?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40405
   Posted 4/10/2009 1:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Rock Bottem,

First of all, welcome to healing well. You have come to a good place. Everybody here is so kind and compassionate. You will get good advice.

Are you getting any counseling for yourself? I think that it would be a good source of support. To be able to talk to somebody objective is a lot of help and maybe they can help you get back on your feet so that you can leave. Have you thought about talking to your mother and getting another place to stay? That might be a wise decision. Otherwise you are stuck there with a man that does not respect you.

I am looking for work too. It is hard right now with so many people out of work. I hope that you find something soon.

Keep posting as we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/10/2009 6:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Rock Bottom,

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I agree with would be best to get away from this man if at all possible. Being with someone who mistreats you, whether it be by physical or emotional abuse, is a terrible way to live. And cheating, in my opinion, is a form of abuse. I hope you don't think I'm being harsh for saying this, but the handwriting is on the wall, and it is extremely unlikely that this man is going to change his behaviour. I'm concerned for you and for your daughters, as well, because they are young women and are impressionable as far as the way they view relationships with men. See if there is a women's shelter or women's centre in your area, and talk to them about your situation. It sounds to me like you lived through abuse in your marriage, and are experiencing a different form of abuse now.....and you will need help to deal with this. They may also be able to direct you to resources for financial aid and employment counseling, as well as temporary housing should you need it.

Above all else, remember that you are worth too much to be mistreated by anyone. You deserve more than that, RB.

Please keep us posted on your situation. I wish you the very best.

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