Feeling sad, lost

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OnlyMe3
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/11/2009 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone!

I don't know where to start just because I feeling pretty down. Maybe by letting my emotions out will make me feel better. So this might sound like a bunch of gibberish but it's just my thoughts.

For the past 2 weeks, I haven't been myself. I feel like I am unhappy with anything or anyone. There is nothing bad going on in my life. My family loves me, I have a wonderful boyfriend who I am being mean to constantly, great friends, great job. But why, why am I feeling so down like nothing is going right for me?

I get like this once in a while. For a couple of weeks or a month I am completely fine and then all of the sudden my mood changes and I hate myself. about 6 months ago, I started going to a clinical doctor and he prescribed me "abilify". I took it for about a month and a half and then stopped because I felt like it was giving me anxiety. Abilify worked great for me beisdes the anxiety part. It made me feel happy again. After I stopped taking abilify I went into depression again on and off. I tried different medication and none of them worked for me. So my doctor decided to put me back on Abilify and perscirbe anxiety medication as well. I started to take it but this time it made me feel different. I felt like a zombie. My emotions were completely gone and I didn't feel a thing. I didn't care about anybody or anything. Nothing mattered to me. I hated how I felt because every time I met a guy and decided to date him, I did not feel any connection and would just end it. I felt like I couldn't feel any love, emotion being on Abilify. I got off of it again and here I am now going through one of my blue days. Mainly I am feeling sad because I for some reason lost my feelings for my current boyfriend. It's like one day I feel that connection and I just want to be with him, and then next, I ask myself why am I with him because I don't feel any kind of emotions towards him. As soon as he gives me space, I come running back to him because I feel better. Has that happened to anyone? I don't know what's wrong with me but I know that something is just not right with me. I feel like no one likes me and I feel like just staying home lay on my couch and just stare at my walls and think about nothing at all. I don't want to talk to anyone or be bothered by anyone. I just want time to myself. What's different about my sad days this time is, I haven't been able to get out of this mood for two weeks now. It usually doesn't last this long. Maybe a few days but this time I just can't seem to get out of it. I try to make myself busy and be involved with my friends, go to places but I just wear a happy mask and inside I am not happy. Every time I hang out my bf I am completely mean. I get irritated and I talk back and argue over little things. I don't want to be around him because I feel like I don't like him but I know this is not how I really feel, it's not me feeling this way.

Has anybody felt this way? And what did you do? Please help. Thank you so much! Me

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 4/11/2009 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi there,

Welcome to HealingWell. I am so glad that you have joined our community. There are many wonderful people here and I am sure that you are going to get some good advice.

The first question that I want to ask you is, are you still taking the anti anxiety medication? If not, that might have been what was causing you the feeling of detatchment. Or it could have just have been the mix. Maybe another anti anxiety medication would be better. Or another mood stabilizer. It sounds like you definately need some type of mood stabilizer.

For now, I would take it one day at a time. Try not to be too hard on yourself but try to be aware of your actions and moods. You sound like a really nice person and the mood changes is what is causing you these problems.

So I would speak to the doctor about a different med. I take abilify, effexor and xanax. They work good together.

I wish you the best. Keep posting as we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/11/2009 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi OnlyMe,

Welcome. :-) You've come to a great place for support.

I'm really sorry to read about all that you are going through. I see you have received some great advice from Karen! The only thing I would like to add is a question for you: are you getting any sort of counseling right now? It might be good for you to speak to someone professionally to see if you can get some help in sorting through all your feelings. I see a therapist and I find it really helpful.

I hope things will get better for you, OnlyMe. I can see that you are suffering, and I want so much for you to find some relief and some peace.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/11/2009 9:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Onlyme3

Support groups are a place for people to give and receive both emotional and practical support as well as to exchange information. People with health conditions, as well as their friends and families find support groups to be a valuable resource and get confirmation that their feelings are "normal", educate others, or just let off steam. IMHO joining a support group is joining a family.  Welcome to the family  :) 
 
I am glad you are seeing a physician but perhaps you would benefit from a counselor for some one to one therapy.  Is that something you have access to?
 
Please keep on talking to us and even if you just want to let off a bit of steam, post it here.  We will always support you.
 
Kitt

 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic 
Co-Moderator Depression
  Forums

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Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
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THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 4/12/2009 2:16 AM (GMT -7)   
hi onlyme3, you have been given some wonderful info, i can say that in my younger days i felt somewhat as your describing, for me it was disassociation, i too have been on abilify, for the negative affect issues i was exhibiting/feeling. i wish you well, by posting you are on the road to better understanding what is going on, keep posting and take care of yourself. kindest of regards, jamie, 37, male.

lancastergirl
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 4/13/2009 2:03 AM (GMT -7)   
 I'm feeling sad and lost also. I feel like my life is never going to be good. I've been struggling with depression for about 3 years now since my parents divorce. I just started seeing a therapist and a pychiatrist and they put me on the anti-depression citalopram. Its been about a month and I've been praying for the citalopram to start working.
 
p.s sorry for the typos

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 4/13/2009 5:36 AM (GMT -7)   
hey lancastergirl, hang in there, we are here for you. you may need a few more weeks with the medication, after this i would definately talk to your psychiatrist about other options. keep posting and welcome to the depression forum community. kind healings, jamie, male, 37.

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/13/2009 7:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lancastergirl,

Welcome. I'm sorry you're feeling so low as well. Jamie is right....it could take a little longer to get the effects of your meds, but it wouldn't hurt to mention to your doc and therapist that you're still struggling with those feelings. I hope you'll come back and let us know how you're doing.

lancastergirl
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 4/13/2009 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Well I will be going to the doctor tommorow telling the doctor about how I have been feeling lately. Last night was a bad night. For the first time I actually felt myself have an anxiety attack for being stressed out. I couldn't breath and I felt pains in my hands. It lasted about 20 minutes. I have been dealing with depression for a while now but I felt embarrassed about getting help.

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/13/2009 8:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Best wishes with your doc appointment tomorrow. I hope he/she will be able to help with the meds, and either adjust your dosage or prescribe something else. I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety attack. I deal with both depression and anxiety as well, and those attacks can be scary and upsetting. I really hope you will have a better rest tonight. I'm glad you came back to post, and hope you will let us know how it goes.
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