This is Kitt and welcome to HealingWell. Life is sounding rather tough for you right now and I can empathize with your issues with the children. I raised 4 and spent a lot of time home alone with them while my hubby was working. I felt like I was a Mother 24/7 and I wanted part of myself back to have some fun.
My hubby is a great guy but he is not perfect and I can say he was not abusive but we had our dialogues too. No one should ever have to tolerate abuse whether it is verbal or physical. That rule goes both ways thow.
I would act out as I was afraid to say what I needed so he had to try to guess. I was afraid of rejection if I asked to go out or spend money so hinting was my way of dealing with it. Now I ask for what I need or to be honest I take care of what I need and if that is some time for me, then I take it without guilt.
RE your fears of addiction, I am going to post a web link for you. Just an FYI: Sex Addicts Anonymous website www.sexaa.org/ . You may find some info on this site to help you.
You have received some great advice from other members so please know we care and I wish you peace.