Why continue to move forward?

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slipp'nfromlife76
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/16/2009 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   
So I know because of the employment that I have that others have suffered similar fates to mine and have some how overcome their difficulties, but for me well I just dont see myself overcoming much more of anything but the plan that continually goes through my head day and night.....I am what people call a 'Survivor of Abuse', lol, and survivor if people only knew what still occurs with me now from this situation so long ago...I have completed many, many hours of therapy, been on medications, and tried to stay one step ahead of the depression every day, but with everything I try and do to change what is happening in my life it seems that many things just slap me back down....
 
confused  

Raniah
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/16/2009 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Slipp'n,

Welcome to our group. I'm saddened by your post, because I can see how much pain you're feeling and how tired you feel with your struggle. It's hard to keep moving forward when it takes so much energy, especially when something negative happens and we have to rally our strength all over again. Please don't give up! There are a number of us here who are, as you put it, "survivors of abuse", and the important part of that phrase is the word "survivor". Obviously, from all that you have done to promote your healing, you have a strong will to move on from your past and heal yourself, and that will is still in there! Please don't compare yourself to others in the way that you perceive them as having "overcome their difficulties". First of all, we are all unique individuals with our own histories and personalities and sensitivities. Secondly, we never really know how others feel on the inside as far as their recovery or how they feel that they've coped with things. You need only focus on you, and your process. We are all here to support you and to listen, so please feel welcome here and know that we care.

TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 4/16/2009 7:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I know what you mean.

btw, Welcome to Healingwell! Glad you found us, but not under the circumstances...

Anyways, Im in therapy and things seem okay...Im on medication and things seem okay. But things arent always okay. I try to stay ahead of it... I try to stay positive and tell myself things will get better. But, a lot of the time it all comes back to slap me in the face. It happens.

Im not really sure what to tell you, as I am still struggling myself. But, Im sure many more will come along with some advice for ya! Take Care
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


Aurora60
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 4/16/2009 7:52 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Slipp'n,  I am sorry to hear of all the difficulties you have been through.  Life can be very stressful for all of us for so many reasons.  I know you have tried therapy.  Do you believe you have the right therapist for you or would you do better with another therapist?  I think what Raniah has told you is right.  We are all unique and see our problems in different ways and we have different ways of solving them.  You do sound like a strong person.  You have come a long way.  One of the things I have learned in all my years (and I am probably a bit older than you) is you can't change the past.  The past is gone and that is where you have to leave it.  Looking back only brings back the things you are trying to get beyond.  What all of us have is a future. And to accomplish what you want to become or learn is best done by looking forward. You need to take one day at a time and concentrate on that one day.  Strength comes from within us and by looking ahead there is always a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  I know you are feeling low right now but you have found a very good group here.  You will make many friends here and you will find the comfort and support you need.  We all help one another.  Please keep posting and know that there is always someone here to answer you, "hold your hand," and give you the support you need. Please try to take good care of you.

Aurora


slipp'nfromlife76
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/16/2009 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I know that medications can work and all, but I am tired of taking a pill to fix some of the issues, it never fixes the whole issues, I have Severe PTSD and of course fight with depression as well...and I am tired of fighting a fight alone...yeah been with the therapists and all, but its not the same I am still alone....I tried to find a support group in the real world and none around, I live in a little town...not having anyone there well I just cant see the fight moving forward alone much more............

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40579
   Posted 4/16/2009 8:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Slipp'nfromlife,

We should never try to compare ourselves to others, it will only make us bitter or vain.

Many have it worse than us, and many don't. So we are all mixed up in there somewhere. Some people don't show their emotions and we haven't got a clue to how they feel inside. Where others tend to over dramatize and makes it sound worse than it is. So it is all deceiving. We only know how we feel and that is what we need to work on. And believe me it does get better. Sometimes we hit some bumps in the road and that messes us up. But generally we move forward.

So keep your chin up, go to therapy and make your doctor's appointments and keep trying. And most of all, remember we are here to support you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/16/2009 8:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Slipp'n,

Aurora made a good point about having the right therapist. It sounds like perhaps you've tried a few, but I do wonder if there is someone who might be able to give you better support in moving forward. I have struggled with PTSD for a number of years as well, and it took me some time to finally find the right therapist. She is helping me to move past my fears, slowly but surely. Rest assured: you are definitely not alone.....we may not live in your town, but we are all here for you.

slipp'nfromlife76
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/17/2009 5:51 AM (GMT -7)   
You know it would be a grand thing if one could afford to really go out and look for that right therapist, and I have tried some, but with my insurance I can only see or have so many appointments before I pay the big ammount by myself....it seems strange to me these last few years, that if someone is dying of cancer right, they can have as many appointments with as many different doctors as they wish, but when its a mental thing there is stipulations to it all....why is that...I am not sure the world is really trying to help out people that are really struggling...I am not talking about people in here or others that I have found that have given an ear to the issues, but I am talking more on the road of professionals and such....today is a big day and I will just have to see how it goes...I sit here listening to my favorite music, when a song came on, "goodbye yellow rose", it had some great meaning to me today....I wish to thank all of you that resonded when you dont know me from anywhere, its nice to know that there are some people that still care for others in the human race.......

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/17/2009 6:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Slipp'n,

You say that today is a big day, and I hope whatever you have going on will be a positive experience for you. I have to say, I'm concerned about you and what you've written in your posts, and I sincerely hope that if things get too bad, you will call a crisis hotline or go to the hospital. There really are people in the world who care, and you should never give up hope on finding them and getting the help you need.

slipp'nfromlife76
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/17/2009 6:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Raniah, and I am hoping that my plans for today will be a positive thing as well, and that it will help with issues I have been having for quite some time...

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/17/2009 6:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Best of luck to you......keep us posted as you feel up to it, and know that we care.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 4/18/2009 1:56 AM (GMT -7)   

hey slipp'n, i read your post, but not the threads, because of medical reasons. i am a survivor of a sequale of abuse. me been in years and years of therapy, many, many hospitalisations, nasty ant-psychotics, barbs, ect, etc. i understand your pain and situation, u need not say anymore, neither do i. it does get better, fight, and hard, i send u luving compassion, we hw and i are here for you. jamie

iddm, major depression, severe borderline personality disorder, hormone defeincy, diabetic nuropathy, water work prob's, (severe) lombroscal spine, and some bits & peices.

can't read lengthy info as i get confused, and head starts to hurt, etc, diabetes related, and new anti-depressants etc.


slipp'nfromlife76
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/18/2009 9:21 AM (GMT -7)   
So another day passes and I still sit his with darkness hovering overhead, how long must one live with this despair, how long must one hold on until enough is enough!!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40579
   Posted 4/18/2009 10:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Slipp'n,

Just try not to give up. Things will get better, I promise. Depression is so hard to deal with. I know that you want to feel better. And you will. Just keep trying and posting here, we are here to support you.

Take a nice walk, listen to the birds. Smell the smells of spring. You will feel better after walking, I always do, even if I don't feel up to it.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/18/2009 3:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Slipp'n,

I'm sorry you are still feeling so depressed. You have mentioned that you are alone in your struggle, and live in a small town, and I wonder if you have anyone....even a friend or relative who lives at a distance.....who you can call and talk to for love and support. It's hard to go through these dark days by yourself. I struggle with this at times myself, and it can be difficult to open up and talk about sadness when it feels safer to do it alone. However, it's also important to reach out and share burdens with others when they become too heavy for one person to bear. I also find it helps to do something creative, like drawing or painting, to get some of those painful feelings out in the open. It's a means of release for me. Do you have anything that you do along those lines?

I'm glad you're still posting here. Please know that there are lots of us here who care.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 4/19/2009 2:27 AM (GMT -7)   
things will get better, this will happen when u are ready for it to happen. for me i forgave those, and myself. obviously we find solace in our own ways, u when ready will find yours. i send u compassion. thank you with your courage in posting. jamie.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/19/2009 10:21 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello slipp'nfromlife76

This is Kitt and welcome to our world............you are not alone as far as others understanding where your coming from and what you are goiing through.

I have read your posts and I am sorry you are so sad, but I can tell you from experience that  cancer patients do not get any special treatement or referals then any other patients as it is a world driven by our insurance providers that sets the rules. We have to advocate for ourselves and speak up for what we need.  There is a lot to be said for learning to be assertive when we are fighting for our lives. shocked

One of the best remedies for anxiety/depression is to talk about it. Here's where good friends and family can come in. The old adage "A problem shared is a problem halved" comes into its own here, and while you may dismiss it as nonsense, it may surprise you how anxiety alleviating it can be to just talk to someone. Talking to us is a big step.  :-)

Obviously when you're feeling at a low ebb, the last thing you tend to think about is the things that are good in your life. But to do this is a sure fire mood lifter and anxiety buster.

You will see me preach my "Staying in the Moment" as that has been the one thing that has kept me functional on many occasions. 

It's really important for myself to be able to stay in the moment. I have found that by avoiding things like dwelling on past or worrying about the future I am usually able to get done what needs to get done when it needs to get done.

If you can learn to stay present in the moment then you can rapidly and gracefully change your life for the better!

Our personal power is accessed in the present. We are creating our futures right this very second through the thoughts and energy that we are sending out. What future are you creating for yourself if your thoughts are filled with anxiety, anger, and fear? What would your future look like if you could send out love, joy and prosperity?

Practice staying present today. Take deep breaths often. Really feel what you are doing. When you are driving in the car really focus on what you are doing, seeing and hearing. Approach your work with focus and clarity. When you are with a loved one really listen to what they are saying to you

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.

I wish you peace and happiness.  I hope you stick with us and let us support you.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
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Co-Moderator Depression
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Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
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THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 4/19/2009 8:53 PM (GMT -7)   
    "YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERFLY WITHOUT WINGS" C, JKB

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/20/2009 7:35 AM (GMT -7)   

Nice jamiee !

Kitt


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40579
   Posted 4/20/2009 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt,

This person posted five times the same exact post. I am saving this one for Peter to read, he has been alerted.

Thanx
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/20/2009 4:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm confused, but whatever/whoever it was must have been deleted by now! :-)



Slipp'n: I hope you're having a better day today. Please let us know how you are doing when you get a chance.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40579
   Posted 4/20/2009 6:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Yeah, it was by tHE Discussion, the same post that is on Aalamil's thread if you want to read it, I am leaving it for Peter to delete if he wants to. But they posted six times the same thing all together.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 4/21/2009 12:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Slipp`n if you do not have anyone to talk to some of us on healingwell have are E-Mail posted here just click on the envelope on the left of are post.I am more then willing to talk to you if that would help.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Surgery to fuse L3 and L4 vertabra Dec. 31,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.

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