Post Edited (toddm) : 4/26/2009 6:34:50 PM (GMT-6)
Hi Todd, I read your post and am so sorry for all you have been going through. It must be very painful to lose your best friend so suddenly. I certainly understand what lonliness is as I have suffered from lonliness for many years. I do have a group of good friends but they never seem to be around when I need them. Also, I am afraid to be alone in my house at night. I was thinking about your situation and thought I could come up with some suggestions that you may want to consider. Are there any activites you would consider joining? A book club, or soft ball team, tennis, some activity where you can meet others? Do you have any hobbies that would put you in touch with other people? I know you are feeling down and maybe there is a support group in your area for depression. Another possibility is to be a volunteer somewhere. How about a soup kitchen or your local library or a Senior center? I do volunteer work at my local Senior center and that does help me as it gets me out of the house and I do meet some very nice people. I admit they are all older than me but seniors are a really interesting group and so friendly and wanting to talk to you. Do you have a dog? There are lots of dogs parks in many areas and that is always a good place to meet people. You would already have something in common and it would be easy to start a conversation. I hope I have helped in some small way. Please do keep posting here and letting us all know how you are getting along. This is a wonderful group of people and you will find many friends here. We all support each other. Or sometimes you just need a person to let your feelings out to. Please take good care of yourself and post anytime. I will always be happy to answer you.
Hello and welcome to HealingWell. You have been dealt a tough hand and I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend and for the health issues your sister has endured.
My thoughts, yes you have depression. Remember I am not a professional just another person with depression the same as you.
I have lost many and it all started with the death of my Father when I was 39 and after that it just went on and on. It continues to this day as I have a sister dying of ovarian cancer as I write this. My son died in a car accident at the age of 21 and many others that I loved have died.
Grief is a normal and healthy response to loss, not an illness. Its symptoms are painful, but they serve an adaptive purpose. Most grief runs its course with the support of your friends/family. But sometimes grief can trigger depression .When grief triggers depression, the sadness can be unrelenting and overwhelming. Some people describe it as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. Even when participating in activities you used to enjoy, you feel as if you are just “going through the motions.” You may also feel numb, lifeless and empty.
I would like to encourage you to consider counseling to help you through this painful time. One on one counseling can help you understand your feelings as well as teach you skills to cope with your pain.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change.
Here is the direct link to The MoodGym Training Program
This same company provides a program called e-couch.
e-couch provides evidence-based information about emotional problems (including depression and anxiety disorders) and teaches strategies that may help you to prevent problems and understand yourself better.
Here is the link for e-couch
Remember these programs are free and can be down online.......do take a look at both and see if one of them may meet your needs.
Again a warm welcome to HW