I am glad to see you posting again. I am sorry I am not up to posting anything long and wise so I am thankful for the others that are responding so generously to you.
I have lost my sister and right now I am just floundering.
You are in my prayers as is everyone here in this wonderful forum.
I wish you peace,
Erik,I really appreciate all your insights & just had one more thing to add. I think that there is a momentum that comes from starting something. I too used to focus on the planning stage, wanting everything "just so" before presenting my project to the world. Part of it was fear of failure, but part of it really was feeling that there was already so much wrong in this world that I couldn't bear to add to it. But I've learned from experience that the best things in this world come when someone with good intentions & just a bit of guidance risk it all to put themselves out there & uncover their projects. Only you can say whether or not using the computer would destroy what good your ideas could bring to this world. If I might, perhaps you could find a new way to power your computer (solar power, pedal power, etc.) that would rely primarly on green energy & therefore further your end goal. You can buy wind credits over the internet to offset some of your energy usage. I have done this in the past & while it is an imperfect solution, I think it is far better than the alternative of relying solely on petro or coal.
I really believe that there are some truly amazing opportunities in green energy. There is a new solar plant going in just outside of my city (with lots of new jobs! maybe one for me? :). There also are plans to put in dozens of additional wind farms nearby. I credit those who had the foresight & fortitude to keep at what must have seemed an impossible mission for the past 3 decades with all the changes we are now starting to see. Every movement must start somewhere & I think that any peaceable action that you see as something that could influence change should be something you can take great pride in. I wonder whether perhaps you would consider college as an opportunity to learn more about green energy & to connect with like-minded individuals. I was watching a show the other day about how a team from Princeton designed & built a green school with a Zero Environmental Footprint. All of their energy came from solar, hydro, composted materials or deep earth energy or heating/cooling mechanisms. All of the materials were 100% recycled/reused. All of the furnishing were natural, non-toxic & 100% reused/recycled. Almost no trees were uprooted & those that were were carefully transplanted. The school was an environmental sciences magnet school & the curriculum focused around caring for the earth. Students were encouraged to eat vegan (or at the very least to eat all of the meat & animal byproducts that they prepared rather than throwing away portions in the trash). All paper & such was recycled. It was really quite impressive & is now an inspiration for schools across the country. My brother-in-law is a mechanical engineer for schools & his company is looking to see what parts they can duplicate when they design new school buildings. One group of students was really able make a huge difference in how schools are going to be constructed for decades to come. So I think it is possible to make difference.
Those students did have some solar power for their laptops, but I'm sure that they did rely on at least some energy for the power grid. The thing is, they ended up saving FAR more energy through their massive project than they used for their tiny laptops, printers, etc. Yes, in an ideal world, they would have used absolutely no energy from the grid at all, but that shouldn't take away from what they accomplished.
Forgive me if I seem a bit "preachy". I used to teach high school & I guess I still feel pretty strongly that education can be incredibly valuable to developing the emerging thoughts & concepts that will shape our nation's future. There is no such thing as perfection in this world. So, we chase that ever elusive dream & hope that along the way our accomplishments somehow leave our world a better place. I think you really have a lot to offer this world & I genuinely hope that you will find some way to continue your education, whether or not it is through a university.
Post Edited (Akram) : 5/5/2009 11:55:35 PM (GMT-6)