getting help is not easy

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EmptyHearted
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 5/7/2009 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone, I am new here and joined because I need to talk to people who understand this monster called depression. For the past several years I have been treated by my primary care physician with meds, but have not been in therapy for about 8 years. My last attempt with a therapist was not too positive, and didn't last long because he was a little too touchy feely and he creeped me out.

Today, however, after a bad night, I called my insurance provider for a list of names of psychiatrists, feeling that I should at least see someone who knows about these kinds of meds better. I am currently on the generic of Wellbutrin, a low dose, and when I try to increase the dosage to what my doctor prescribed I get weird speech interruption problems with little jaw spasms. Anyway, the first psychiatrist on the list that I was given wasn't accepting new patients, and the next one would take 2 -3 weeks to get an appointment with. I was completely frustrated by this failure, as it was so hard for me to take this step to begin with. So I tried calling my regular doctor to see about switching meds, but he won't do that without seeing me (I have an appointment in a week).
I was diagnosed about 15 years ago at the age of 34 and it was determined that I had probably been dysthymic (sp?) as a teenager and my first major episode was at 18.

I've had relapses over the years and this latest seems somewhat serious, although my thoughts of suicide are fleeting and I don't think serious. I have been married for 6 years to a man who can be verbally abusive when he drinks, and last night we had another fight. His big issue is that I don't have a libido, and sex is extremely important to him. It's always been an issue for me, in part I'm sure because of some past abuse issues at the hands of my first husband. That's a long story but needless to say, depression and meds don't help with libido. I feel I am caught between a rock and a hard place because I don't have the financial wherewithall to leave him, which I'm not even sure I want to do at this point, but I know that this issue is not going to go away so the fights and the blame and the put-downs will continue.

So I am hoping that the doctor can put me on something different that will help me at least with my head feeling so bad. Maybe if that problem is addressed, I can find the strength to face the other problems in my life.

Thanks for reading, God's blessings to you all.
Allison


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 5/7/2009 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Allison,

Welcome to our group. I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling, and also sorry that your husband is not being supportive to you. I understand your frustration at having to wait to see a psychiatrist, but it would still be good to get on a waiting list, IMO, so that when a couple of weeks are up, you will be able to start the process. It's unfortunate that the experience with the other therapist was so negative....it can really turn a person off. However, there are some really good ones out there, so please keep trying. Therapy has done me a world of good in my own situation, having struggled with depression since childhood and being recently divorced from an abusive husband.

You deserve to feel better, and to have a happier life. Please don't give up hope, and know that we're here to support you.
 
"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves."  ~ Mahatma Gandhi


EmptyHearted
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 5/7/2009 4:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, Raniah. I know I probably need to get back into therapy, but having been in it before (even before the bad experience) somehow the thought of having to start all over with someone new feels very overwhelming. But I do have a list of therapist names from my insurance co., so hopefully I can find the courage to make another call before too long. Every time one of my attempts to make an appointment fails, it feels like a rejection and I admittedly don't deal too well with rejection (even if it is imagined)...
Allison


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 5/7/2009 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Allison,

I don't look at the situation as a failure just because you have to wait a couple of weeks for an appointment. I think that you should keep that appointment, even though it is a couple of weeks away. I see a psychiatrist and I am glad that I do. I also see a psychologist too. So reschedule that appointment, it wont take long for the time to go by. Psychiatrists are good at prescribing meds. It really does help.

Best wishes to you

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 5/7/2009 8:34 PM (GMT -7)   

Allison,

I'm sorry to hear of your frustration with not being able to get in to see a psychiatrist immediately.  I think it's generally a good sign if the psychiatrist is booking out a couple weeks as it means they have a good-sized practice.  While it's not a definite indicator, often it means that a lot of people really like that doctor.

If you are having thoughts of suicide at any time, maybe you could talk to the psychiatrist's scheduler to see if perhaps they could see you any sooner or if they can recommend a newer, less established colleague who could fit you in with less notice.  It is not a guarantee b/c usually the psychiatrists set up rules to decide when to take urgent cases.  Keep in mind that most of the patients who go to see a psych often feel that their problem(s) is urgent & needs attention ASAP.  Psychs who don't have any rules tend to burn out quickly.  Still, it's worth a try.  And of course if you ever get to the point where you just can't take it, you always have the option of going to an ER or a psych facility for immediate help.

I do wish you the best with everything.  Hopefully the pieces will start coming together for you soon.  I'm also wondering whether a support group might be helpful to you.  Usually there is no waiting for those.  Maybe something like Al-Anon to help you cope with your husband's drinking or a support group for domestic violence survivors to help you deal with both your past & with the occasional(?) abuse that you face in your current marriage.  Just some thoughts... I'm sure whatever route you choose will be the right one for you.


blessings,
frances


Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 5/8/2009 12:45 AM (GMT -7)   
HI alison, welcome to the forum, it sadden's my heart to hear what you are going through like the abuse from your husband and not being able to consider leaving him because of the financial reasons, it is a difficult situation your in, I cannot imagine how you go through everyday, you must be brave and strong. Don't give up on the appointments just because it takes a few weeks, as karen and others said it will pass so quickly before you know it, so don't give up please, you need to open your options and keep an open-mind as there are many ways you can improve your situation, only one of them is waiting for the appointment, you could still seek other groups for support or as frances suggested you can goto the ER or psych facility for immediate help. good luck to you and I hope things will improve for you, keep us posted and let us know how you are doing


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/8/2009 5:34 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning Allison

Welcome to HealingWell and please know we are so excited to have you join us. 

I am sorry for the tough time you are going through and I hope you can get your medications tweaked.  I understand about therapists as I had one that just was not a good match.  You have to have a trust relationship with your therapist and if this is missing therapy is not going to work out.  Touchy-feely, not good.  I am glad you recognized this.  :)

I am in MN and here it may take up to 2-3 months to be able to get into a P-doc if you are not already a patient.  Many are not taking any new patients here either. 

My P-doc only deals with meds not with therapy so I must have a therapist and a P-doc.  At the moment I am not in therapy as I have been doing well with just working with the meds and  coming here for my dose of support and caring.

I hope that we are able to meet your needs.  Please do stick with us.

Hugs

Kitt


 

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CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 5/8/2009 6:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Allison:  I am sorry to hear about everything you are going through.  I was also in an abusive marriage so I can understand the verbal abuse and how stressed you must be.  Additionally, I understand the importance of getting on the right meds as soon as possible.  However, I have a slightly different suggestion to offer.  Have you considered making an appointment with a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner (an A.P.R.N.)?  Pyschiatric Nurse Practitioners are licensed to prescribe medication too.  And unlike the Pyschiatrists they also offer therapy simultaneously.  I have been seeing my psychotherapist who is an A.P.R.N. for about 8 years now.  And as my situations and moods change she is able to change my medications accordingly right away. --I don't have to schedule a separate appointment and wait.  I have seen two other therapists in the past and she is by far the most professional and compassionate.  And like psychiatrists she is extemely knowledgeable about all the psychiatric meds.  There's a lot to be said for one stop shopping!!  Perhaps you might be able to get an earlier appointment this way too.
 
Good luck and somehow try to take good care of yourself.  You are definately not alone and please feel welcome to keep posting here.  We will help you get through this!
 
Cass
 
 

Post Edited (CassandraLee) : 5/8/2009 7:25:02 AM (GMT-6)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/8/2009 6:26 AM (GMT -7)   

Cass,

May I ask what state your in as I do not remember ever hearing of any A.P.R.Ns in our state.  I think it is a great idea as it would solve the issue of having to have to talk to two different people who are not even in the same clinic.

Thanks for bringing this up.

Kitt


CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 5/8/2009 6:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kitt!  I live in Connecticut and this is where I see my A.P.R.N..  As I said before, she is extremely professional and more than qualified.  I am extremely fortunate to have her.
 
Cass
 
PS:  I hope you are doing okay.  You have still been in my thoughts.

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 5/8/2009 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   

Allison, I have read your post and the others and have some thoughts.  First of all, do you feel you are on the right med?  You may need to switch to another a/d med that works better for you. Also, do keep your drs appt.  But I have found that PCPs are not as familiar with all the a/d meds and how to dose them and how to get you off them when the time comes.  I have heard stories about how people can't seem to get off their a/d meds.  That is why a P-doc is good for prescribing and then if you can find a therapist who you like you could get the help you need that way. The Psychiatric practitioner sounds like a good idea.  I have never heard of this before though I am sure they exist as Cass has said.  I see a P-doc every 6 mos for my a/d med and a regular therapist for help with problems.  This has worked out very well for me.  I have been on my a/d for about 7 yrs now and my dr is SlowlY weaning me off of it. And because we are doing it so slowly I have had no problems at all going down to a lower dose.  In fact I am now on the lowest dose of my med and I haven't been able to tell the difference. But we have been going down over a period of almost 2 years. And I don't feel down and out depressed anymore.  I still have my share of problems but nothing that is getting me into that state of not even wanting to get out of bed. I wish you the best and do post how you are feeling.

Hugs,

Aurora


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 5/8/2009 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   

Kitt,

In my area, APRN's are referred to as "prescribing psychologists".  There are not a lot of them (at least where I live), but they are easier to get into & cost a lot less than seeing a psychiatrist who does counseling as well as meds.


EmptyHearted
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 5/8/2009 7:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi All,

Thank you so much for all your responses. I am struggling just getting by, trying to go to work and bide my time until I can see my PCP. My head feels so heavy and all I want to do is cry all day but I have to put on a facade while I am at work so i am exhausted at the end of the day. CassandraLee, I live in CT also, and would be interested to know who you go to if you don't mind. I felt completely disregarded by the people I talked to at the psychiatrist's offices that I called which really surprised me that they wouldn't be more sensitive to potential patients. I was feeling pretty desperate yesterday and that I had to have help "now" which is why I didn't want to wait 2-3 weeks for an appointment but I will see what my PCP says and hopefully whatever he switches me to will give me enough wherewithall to seek additional help.

Thanks again for all your support, it helps to talk.
Allison


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 5/8/2009 7:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Emptyhearted,

I am happy to say that you sound so much better today. I am glad that you are feeling a little better.

I hope that you can find a pdoc that will fit your needs and see you sooner than the other one could.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 5/9/2009 8:07 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Emptyhearted.

Thank you very much for taking the time to respond to my post last night; especially when I know you are going through so much yourself.

I was so surprised when I read that you are from Connecticut also.  It seems that most people I write to or chat with here are from the Midwest or England.  My psychotherapist is located in Essex, Connecticut.  However, due to forum rules and the need for everyone's safety, I can't just put her name and number on this forum.  I checked your personal info. that you provided and I saw that you do not have your e-mail on there.  I don't have mine either.  Is there anyway you could put it up beside your name?  Or perhaps if it is okay with Kitt (our forum moderator), I could e-mail the information to her and then maybe you could e-mail her too and she could forward it on to you.

Just let me know if you would like this information and if so, how you would like to go about getting it.  I truly respect my therapist and highly recommend her. 

Thanks again,

Cass


EmptyHearted
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 5/11/2009 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone, and thanks Cass for your offer to recommend your therapist. Essex would be a bit far for me, but I have a couple of names of APRNs in my area that I am going to call. It's just so frustrating to get up the guts to make the call and be shot down by some insensitive receptionist - but I will try this route and see what happens. I definately agree I am not on the right med, and given that the last time I switched, my regular doctor asked ME what I wanted to be on (!?) so I don't have the greatest faith that he knows what's best for me here. But my appointment is with him this Friday and hopefully by then I'll have an appointment with one of the APRNs.

You're all great to take the time to write me, and it really helps to have your support. I hope I can be of help to you too. Thanks!
Allison

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