New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

toddm
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 5/8/2009 5:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone. I have been battling depression and anxiety for the past few months. I've been doing freelance AV work. I've been getting by. Most of my work is travel. I've been offered a job with a local company with some travel. I should be happy someone is offering me a job. Oddly enough, I've been in a state of panic since talking to them. Here are my pros and cons:

Freelance work Pros: Better money, freedom, choose when I want to work, working with different people
Freelance work Cons: The unknown if I will have work, Too much free time, dealing with my own taxes

Job pros: The stability of a work week, steady paycheck, not having to interview for the job
Job cons: Pay is less, working in an office cubicle, losing my freedom, no insurance

I really would like to do something else altogether, but I'm not sure what. I feel like I am forced to take the job because of the economy. I don't enjoy the work at all. I know a lot of people don't like their job. I just don't know what to do. They offered 40k with no health benefits.

I'm so confused as to what I should do. I'm so bad at making decisions right now. They need an answer by the last week in May.

I would really appreciate any input, experiences, opinions and advice. My goodness the anxiety is horrible.

Thanks very much for reading.

toddm
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 5/8/2009 7:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry I just don't know what to do. Feel kinda lost.

EmptyHearted
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 5/8/2009 7:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Todd, welcome. I understand your frustration about being in a job you don't like. Perhaps you can look at it like a temporary thing until you find a better fit. Keep looking, network, whatever you have to do to be in a better place but for now this pays the bills even though it's not ideal. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on yourself to have the "perfect" job. Don't be so hard on yourself. The right thing will come along eventually and when it does you'll know it. But you don't have to decide today.

I'm no expert but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Take what you can that's positive from what you are doing and use it to find your dream job.

This is a great site and you'll get lots of support. Keep us posted.
Allison


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 5/8/2009 7:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Toddm,

I know that it is hard working a job that you don't like, but with the economy, it is better than nothing. And maybe you could pick up your own insurance. Do you have insurance when you free lance? I was just wondering.

Maybe you could work this until something better comes along. I hope that you can and that you will enjoy it.

Keep posting as I am sure that somebody else will come along with better advice than I can give you.

Best wishes

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/9/2009 6:22 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning todd,

I am wondering how your sister is doing, are you still worrying about her? 

Re your work, perhaps through your freelancing you will find an opportunity for a permanent position.  Always be networking these days as others really do listen and you never know when someone will call you with info about a position that is open.

Making decisions is often tough when you have depression as you find yourself doubting your decisions. I have found that making a decision and living with it works best for me.  I also do give myself permission to change my mind.  If I take a position and I find it really is not working for me after giving it a fair chance then I will allow myself to say " I made a mistake" and start looking for solutions to my problem.

It feels to me like you are really floundering right now so try to break down your issues into small tasks.  Deal with one thing at a time and go slowly.........one step in front of the other.

Take care and keep talking to us.  We are here to help you.

Kitt

 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic 
Co-Moderator Depression
  Forums
Moderator: GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


toddm
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 5/9/2009 7:44 AM (GMT -7)   
My sister is doing okay. She's still not quite there yet. Yes I worry about her very much. My life is one complete worry. Thank you for asking and being there.

Akram
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 5/9/2009 11:19 AM (GMT -7)   
hi toddm,

Well I think you should consider taking the job but before you do, consider what would happen if you want to change your mind, make sure you don't sign a contract that will force you to make a commitment that you are not able to do, for instance when I signed one of my contracts with one of the companies I worked for, it stated that if I want to leave the company I have to give them a 30 day notice. so maybe you could discuss this with the company and ask them what would happen if things don't seem to be working out, what are the rules of the game. as long as there is nothing in the contract that would stop you from resigning when things don't seem to be working out, then it sounds that you have nothing to loose by giving it a shot with that company.

Good luck to you, and whatever you decide you have our support, I hope things will work out for you.
Former Addict of Online Video Games ( MMORPGs ) , Sober since April 6th 2008
Diagnosed with Major Depression since 2002

Post Edited (Akram) : 5/9/2009 12:23:30 PM (GMT-6)


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 5/10/2009 8:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Heeja Toddm,

Is there a way you can answer the following question? "What decision would be likely to bring me the greatest happiness in the future?". Maybe the steady income of money will make your life a lot less stressful. On the other hand, hating every day that you go to work won't help either. What is more likely to make you feel bad, worrying about taxes and work, or working in a cubicle? When you try to compare the two situations as best as you can, and try to find out what will make you more happy, it is a good thing I believe. Because you have made a conscious decision, and if things aren't working out, you might still have that inner peace because when you made that decision, you made it for the right reasons.

And just out of curiosity, one thing you don't like about freelance is too much free time, while a job will cut your freedom. What is the balance? Anyway, you might be able to find something to fill the free time in freelance. Whether it is a hobby, or something that provides money. On the other hand, a job still allows you to spent the evenings to your liking.

All the very best!!!

Erik
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)


toddm
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 5/10/2009 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for the responses. No there is no contract to sign or anything like that. It's a small company and I would be on a 90 day probation period to start with a review on 6 months.

I am leaning towards taking the job. However I need to get specifics on exactly how much travel will be involved. I also was going to try and get a couple extra thousand to cover my own insurance expenses.

I've been stressing so terribly hard over this decision like it's the end of the line. It just keeps going round and round in my head. Yes given the economy, a steady paycheck would relieve some worry. On the other hand after being a freelancer for 2 1/2 years the fears of going to an office in a structured environment scares me to death. That coupled with I really, really want to change, but don't know how or what. It makes the job seem pointless. But then again everything seems pointless right now.

I'm so terrible at making decisions right now. It seems I have an excuse for everything.

Thank you all for the support. I greatly appreciate it.

Todd

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 5/10/2009 9:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Maybe you can make it a wait and see kind of experience. Have you applied for the job already? If so, wait and see what happens. You will know if it feels right to you. You can always quit by the sound of it. A steady income is important if you are trying to get ahead. It will also help you to feel good about yourself. I hope that it works out for you.

Keep posting and let us know what is going on.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


toddm
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 5/10/2009 2:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Karen. I don't have to apply. The job offer is on the table. I have to give them an answer by the 18th. I've been so stressed the past few days I am crying a lot and very restless and uneasy.

Thank you for your words.

Todd

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 5/10/2009 5:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Todd,

Don't stress, just go with it, if it is right you will know it. It is a win win situation really.

Best wishes for a wonderful day...

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


toddm
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 5/21/2009 11:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Just wanted to give everyone an update. I met with them yesterday and it seemed everything was going to work out. I made it clear about the travel issue and so forth they agreed to 80% in the office 20% travel. They called me this morning and said they thought the job would not be right for me due to the travel. I guess it was going to be more than they thought. I was a bit shocked, but am a bit relieved in a way. Maybe things happen for a reason, and this wasn't meant to be.

I just have to tell myself that everything will work out and try not to over think or panic over this and realize it's not the end of the world. I've since started counseling and have started to take Celexa. I'm trying to do the right things I really am.....

Thanks for listening and being there.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 5/21/2009 1:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Todd,

I think that you really are trying to do the right thing. I am sorry that the job didn't work out, but like you said, it probably wasn't meant to be. And something else will probably come up.

I hope that you aren't stressing over this. Like you say, one day at a time and things will work out for the best.

Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.

Hugs,

Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/21/2009 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Todd,
 
I agree that sometimes things seem to happen for a reason even if we don't know what the reason is.
I believe the company was very honest in telling you upfront that they would not be able to meet your expectations. 
 
With this problem behind you now you must set some goals and make some plans for what you are going to do nexr but keep on moving, one foot in front of the other.
 
Keep us posted on how you are.
 
I wish you peace and happiness,
 
Kitt
 
 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 5:36 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,454 posts in 301,021 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151186 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, debbixij.
218 Guest(s), 6 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Nana 2, Psilociraptor, 73monte, NiceCupOfTea, maria2016, Graytech


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer