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JoeCal
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 5/15/2009 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi
How do you know when to stop a med?  I have been on Lexapro for 3 weeks with no help.
Two weeks on 10mg and this past week 15 to 20mg.  After taking the meds in the morning my
depression sinks.  about 2 to 5 hours after taking the meds I am very depressed and generally
have repetitive thoughs about my death.  By late in the day I usually get somewhat better.  
 
Does anybody know about "Anhedonia" the inability to feel pleasure? Medication?  I may have this.  I can not love.  I do not understand why adults are so upset about someones death.  Isn't that the way it always ends up... didn't they expect this outcome.
JC  
 

SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 5/15/2009 7:11 AM (GMT -7)   
It takes 8 weekls or more to get into your sytem good don't give up.......
SnowyLynne


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 5/15/2009 9:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Joe,
SnowyLynn is right on the mark saying that it takes time for a/d's to work. Generally 6-8 weeks, once you are on the right dose.

Anhedonia is the inability to feel pleasure. People with anhedonia can still feel other emotions, like sadness or grief, they just can't feel pleasure or happiness. It can sometimes be caused by antidepressants. A hormone imbalance can sometimes cause anhedonia. I'm sure there are other possible causes as well.

If you can't really feel any emotion at all, that is something different. A psychologist could help diagnose what it is. In my case, it was dissociation. I didn't feel anything -- sadness, happiness, anger, love, etc. I just kind of went through the motions until my college adviser told me that she had gotten feedback from classroom teachers that I was scaring the children b/c of "flat affect". I wouldn't ever get excited when they would do well. But neither would I get angry or upset when something went terribly wrong. I just had an expressionless face. Well, sometimes I'd like to go back to that. I wish I couldn't feel sadness, loneliness or fear. But on the upside, I can now feel all the other, positive, emotions too. I worked with a psychologist who was trained in art therapy & that helped quite a bit. I spent a lot of time studying what emotions looked like, so at least that helped me fit in a bit better. I started on various supplements & hormones to address deficiencies that I had, and I started exercising regularly. And, with the help of a counselor, I've been able to face my past & put behind me years of brutal childhood beatings. I still have some work to do, I'm sure, but at least people don't describe me as cold & emotionless anymore. So I want to encourage you that it is possible to feel emotions even if you haven't up to this point. If you want more information about anything, let me know.

all my best,
frances

PS -- I think people cry at someone's death for the same reason they cry over a break-up. They know they will not see that person now & they are very sad about that. The deceased person will not be there with them to enjoy all the activities they used to enjoy together, so it really is a loss. Depending on their faith, they may believe it will be years before they are reunited, or they may believe that they will never see the person again. Beyond that, sometimes it reminds people of their own mortality & thinking about the fact that they too will die some day is a scary prospect for some. It might get them thinking about how they feel they haven't accomplished enough in life, that they haven't had the kinds of relationships that they wished they'd had, or that they haven't become the kind of person they'd hoped to be. I guess that is a kind of loss too. They realize they will not live forever & that we only have a short time here on this earth to reach our goals.
Hope that helps a little. :)

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18773
   Posted 5/16/2009 5:08 AM (GMT -7)   
thank-you frances, not just for jo, but for your wisdom and compassion. jo i agree with frances, don't give up. jamie.

daftone
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 5/16/2009 10:06 AM (GMT -7)   
I wold fo something like cbt before even thinking about trying to wean from meds. I just weened off meds and feel great but It took a few months of cbt and learning new coping skills to give me he confidence to get off of them.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18773
   Posted 5/17/2009 5:46 AM (GMT -7)   
well done daftone, proud of ya mate!! jamie scool scool scool yeah

daftone
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 5/17/2009 10:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Jamiee smilewinkgrin

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18773
   Posted 5/17/2009 11:10 PM (GMT -7)   
you are very, very, welcome daftone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah yeah smurf

daftone
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 5/26/2009 9:45 PM (GMT -7)   

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18773
   Posted 5/27/2009 3:43 AM (GMT -7)   
daftone, u have made me laugh, especially well done as i had a crappy day!!
 
smilewinkgrin   smilewinkgrin   jamie

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 5/27/2009 6:11 PM (GMT -7)   

Joecal, I am going to try to answer your post even though I found it to be quite upsetting and disturbing.  In terms of your meds they do take at least 6-8 weeks to kick in.  I am wondering who gives you your meds?  Are you seeing a psychiatrist? I hope so. You may not be on the right medication to help you. It can take 5 or 6 tries before you find the one that works best for you.

Also, as far as the anhedonia, it is the inability to express pleasure.  It is as if you are a flat line. It is a core symptom of depression and it can be a serious problem for people who are severely depressed.  That is why I am asking if you see a psychiatrist.  Do you have family or any close friends who are a support system for you? This is very important.

The part of your post that is so disturbing is when you speak of death and why should people be upset over someone who dies "because they are going to die anyway." Of the people on this forum who have read your post I imagine you have offended many or most of us. We all have someone in our lives who has passed away - husband, child, sibling, relative, close friend. And they have passed on due to serious illness, suicide, accident, etc.I personally am very upset by your comments because my sister was killed by a drunk driver when she was 14.  His punishment was a short probation.  My other sister died of a sudden heart attack. Do you know how I felt??? Can you even guess how devastated my family was? Many other HW members have lost those close to them and have a hard time dealing with the grief.  Have you read other posts to see how people feel? I notice when you post you rarely reply back to others who have tried to help you. You say you have faith  and believe in God - how can you say such things if you are a true believer. Someone who believes in God cares about others.  You don't seem to care about anyone including yourself.

You need to think carefully before you write something that will offend people.   If you aren't sure then don't write it.  My feeling is you need a lot of help and I hope you take the time to do something to better your life.

Aurora


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/28/2009 8:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Let me just remind everyone that we all experience depression in different ways. For some of us, it is a deep dark grief, for others, a blank nothingness, for others, a dull ache. And that's just the beginning. Before we start losing patience with one another, let's try and see things from the other person's perspective and give each other the benefit of the doubt. We're all here asking questions, trying to figure out why we feel the way we do and how to feel better. None of us is to blame for our depression.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 5/28/2009 9:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Serafena, I understand what you are saying and we all have a right to our feelings and to receive help for our depression. What I was trying to point out in my post was how inappropriate it is to take the attitude "so what if someone dies, they are going to die anyway." This is extremely hurtful to those of us who have had a very painful experience with death and losing those we love so dearly.  This person really should not be making those kinds of comments as I truly feel it is an insult to us who grieve so.  My sister was 14 when she died, I was 13.  I am now 63 and the pain never goes away.  I rarely talk about it - it is just too painful for me still.  I think and I know you must realize as a moderator that there are certain inappropriate things to post here.  That was the reason I said the things I did.  This person also answered one of my posts in a very judgemental and uncaring way.  I think if you are going to post on this forum you need to follow the rules and that includes  not saying insulting things to others and say things that are very hurtful. If you read the posts by this person I think you will see someone who needs a lot of help. And making judgements against others and making people feel bad is just not how the posts to this forum should be. I do not want to be one who is being wrong about comments and I would appreciate again hearing what you have to say, knowing what I have posted here. If you read my posts to others you will see that I am very comforting and concerned of others. I am not blaming any one for being depressed but saying who cares you are going to die anyway is not a perspective most of us want to see.

Aurora


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 5/28/2009 9:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

I’m sorry that this has been so upsetting for you. The death of your sister had to be incredibly traumatic for you, especially considering the circumstances, and I can understand why it would be something you could never fully recover from. I feel the same way about those I have lost, and I know I will always miss them, no matter how much time has passed. I hope you don’t mind if I share my thoughts on this issue, because I feel that there may have been a misunderstanding here. Please know that I would never want to hurt you or dismiss your feelings in any way. As I said in a previous post to you, I do consider you a dear friend, and a very loving and compassionate person on this forum.

My reading of Joe Cal’s post was quite different than yours, in the sense that I interpreted it as a plea for help…..from someone who is unable to feel the grief and loss that you and I have felt. When he said, “I do not understand why adults are so upset about someone’s death. Isn’t that the way it always ends up…didn’t they expect this outcome.”…my take on it was that he is unable to feel what we feel, and he wants to understand what that feeling is all about, knowing that death for all of us is an inevitable part of life. I truly don’t believe that he meant to hurt or offend anyone. In other words, I didn’t take it to mean he was saying “so what” or “who cares” in the same way that you did. As I said before, I am not dismissing your feelings or opinions about this in any way…..I am merely proposing that there may have been some misinterpretation. Please forgive me if I have hurt you. I have only posted this in an effort to bring some clarification.

Your friend,
Raniah
 

 

 

“If what I say resonates with you, it is merely because we are both branches on the same tree."  ~W.B. Yeats


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40601
   Posted 5/28/2009 11:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Joecal is young too. And maybe he hasn't experienced a close loss as we all have yet. You know the older you get, the more of the people you know pass in some sort of manner or another. Once, in a period of a year, I lost five close relatives. Two were my sisters, my mom, my grandmother and my aunt. That seemed huge, especially at that time.

But what I am saying is I don't think that he has anybody close to him die, and if he did, and has no feelings about it, then I see it as a plea for help because he would need it.

Aurora, you are such a sweet member. I am glad that you post to others too, because you always offer good advice. You really have a talent for that. And I am so happy that you are a member of the forum.

Joecal hasn't posted on this thread since the15th, so maybe he isn't going to be on for a while. I don't 'know.

But I do totally understand your feelings, we who have suffered great losses seem to be sensitive with this issue. But like Raniah said, I don't think that he meant for it to come out the way that it did. I think it was more of a question as to "why do I feel this way?"

I hope that everybody has a good day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 5/29/2009 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Raniah and Karen, thank you for your replies.  Maybe I was too quick to judge the post and I guess I had misinterpreted what was said.  I did take it personally as I had suffered so much pain from the loss of my loved ones. I will try to undertand that he meant the feelings were his. I am glad you were able to explain it to me.  Thank you both for taking the time to write and give me another view on the post.
 
Hugs,
 
Aurora

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/29/2009 7:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Aurora, I appreciate your reply. I feel for your loss and wish you peace.

I interpreted JoeCal's remarks as Raniah and Karen did, not as someone cold and unfeeling, but as someone young and unsure. Death truly is mysterious.

Instead, let's answer his question, why does it hurt so much to have someone die even when we do in fact know that everyone must die sometime.

The answer for me is of course love, the very thing you're having trouble with right now JoeCal. And I do think you should talk to a doc about your inability to "feel." I believe that you aren't experiencing a lack of feeling, but rather you're probably just silencing your feelings, stuffing them way down deep. Depression is very serious and you deserve to feel again.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/29/2009 8:21 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Aurora,

I am so sorry that this thread upset you but I feel you are a bit like me, you react when you read things and your own personal feelings come into play.  That makes you the kind and caring person you are.  Also you have a wealth of  knowledge and first hand history with pain and loss so this post struck you as  insensitive.

I will admit it did me a bit too but I chose not to take this one to heart as I believe the person posting has some serious issues and was reaching out for help.

In looking back at your Memorial Day Thread I found this:

Hi

Remeber you are always with yourself and God.   If we depend on others for our happiness we create problems...as you can see.   When we think the moment should be different we create stress... we are fighting was is.  Please review your thoughts (the real problem) and something you can change.  When the thought comes up that I can not be alone... question your belief.   Of course you can be alone.  Think of all the other times you were alone.  Know
you can be happy with youself and God.   I'm not saying it would not be nice to have friends available, but we must not need them for our happiness or we are just co-dependent on others.   When the thought comes up that I can not be alone or I'll be unhappy... question that Idea... Its incorrect.   Change your belief of the thought and you chnage you life. 
 
Best Wishes.  God Loves you.
 
JC  
 
This post to me shows another whole side of this new member. He was reaching out to comfort you in his own way and coming from his own background so I hope this helps you in some small way.
 
Please have a wonderful and pleasant day.  I understand your losses well.
 
Kitt

 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 5/29/2009 8:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

I'm so glad you feel that way. I certainly didn't want to add insult to injury. I think you're an awesome woman, and I know your depth of experience, particularly in the realm of personal loss, has given you a lot of wisdom to share on here.
 

 

 

“If what I say resonates with you, it is merely because we are both branches on the same tree."  ~W.B. Yeats


Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 5/29/2009 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi JoeCal,

I’m going to try to answer your question about why death is upsetting to adults (from my own perspective, of course).

To me, there is no greater feeling in life than to love someone and to be loved in return. This would apply to a relationship between friends, or a parent and a child, or between two people in love. To lose this feeling of deep companionship is very painful to me, because it means that I have lost some of the joy that life holds for me, and I have lost the opportunity to share my love and experiences with someone very special. It is true that those whom we have lost cannot be replaced…..however, the wonderful thing about life is that there is no shortage of opportunities for growth and change, which includes the opportunity to reach out to others and form new bonds of friendship and caring. I hope I have explained this in a way that makes sense….it’s so hard sometimes to put the intangible things of life into words.

I’m glad that you have posted about your concerns and questions, because it’s important to find ways to help ourselves and to heal. I hope you will continue to post, so that we can be of support to you.
 

 

 

“If what I say resonates with you, it is merely because we are both branches on the same tree."  ~W.B. Yeats


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40601
   Posted 5/29/2009 9:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aurora,

I just wanted to pop in for a moment to say that I think you are an awesome woman. With much knowledge and love. I am glad that you posted your feelings, because this brought a whole new subject to life.

I hope that you have a wonderful day today. And I hope that you are feeling well.

Well I am off to get ready for work. Take care, keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


daftone
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 6/1/2009 12:00 PM (GMT -7)   
jamiee said...
daftone, u have made me laugh, especially well done as i had a crappy day!!


[img]/community/emoticons/smilewinkgrin.gif[/img] [img]/community/emoticons/smilewinkgrin.gif[/img] jamie


Sorry you had a crappy day shakehead
I hope today is going better. Your post made me smile too, thx! yeah

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18773
   Posted 6/1/2009 9:22 PM (GMT -7)   
thx daftone, up and down, maybe i should have been a see-saw!! jamie

daftone
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 6/2/2009 10:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Lol. Time to upgrade to being a roller coaster with more ups than downs turn

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18773
   Posted 6/3/2009 3:33 AM (GMT -7)   
yep, where is the biggest and most thrill seeking one!! better day, lol big time. thx for the laughs, tis good to laugh, heck, why cry when ya can laugh so hard u cry anyway!!!
 
cheers, jamie
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