please help....

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depressed24
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 5/20/2009 3:40 AM (GMT -7)   
I need some help, with the problems i am facing in my life. My famliy has stopped talking to me for about 7months, i'm haveliy depressed and i dont see the point of anything.

PSA
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 498
   Posted 5/20/2009 3:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi

Welcome to HW. You have found the right place. You would find lot of support on this forum. I am sorry to hear about what you have been going through. Could you please give some details, as to why they have stopped talking to you.

You must break the ice and start a dialogue with your family. You will have to come out of your shell and lead a normal life.
45 years Male Attorney
Diagnosed UC October 1989
 
Had two stage J Pouch Surgery Nov 2005; Take Down March 2006
Complications after surgery - Incisional Hernia and Ano Fistulas
 
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle: Albert Einstein
 
"What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you."
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/20/2009 4:42 AM (GMT -7)   
 
Good Morning and welcome to HealingWell.  I am sorry you are having problems with your family. If you would like to share a bit more information we may be able to provide you with better advice.
 
Every family goes through tough times and challenging issues- it's part of what being a family means. Family members are often the people that can forgive you when no one else will. Mendings rifts aren't easy, but with a sincere desire and effort to make things right, fixing family rifts is possible.
 
Again a warm welcome,
Kitt
 

 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
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Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
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depressed24
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 5/20/2009 3:08 PM (GMT -7)   
its been a diffcult time, i've been finding it hard to deal with.... my famliy married me when i was 20. Since thAT time i have found it diffcult . I tryed really hard to make my marriage work and still have, but they have started to become very distance with me for no reason. I have tryed talking to them and even tryed calling many times, but they refuse to commucaite. Gettting married at 20, was the hardest thing i did, but i listened to them because i trusted them to do the right thing and...to please them....now i find myself totally alone in this....my husband does'nt understand at all...
 
This is affecting my work, home,life...  i feel not getting up in the mornings... i know its sad...
 
I know there r worst things in life.....that r effecting ppl around that world and i'm thinking whats wrong with me.
 
 

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18757
   Posted 5/21/2009 4:41 AM (GMT -7)   
hey depressed24,
 
u are having a hard time, i am sorry that you are depressed, what may help is you and hubby talking things over with a counsellor, what is important is that you are happy, in life, in marriage, in work and in play, if not then u are doing things to appease others, your family, and subsequently they are not communicating, darn unfair in my book, esp as they played a key role in instigating the marriage! sounds like your family want all things rosey, and now that things are different they have somewhat turned there back on you. sorry don't mean to sound mean, i have a similar prob with my family, re major depression, psychosis, many, many hospitalisations, etc. i am the black sheep, not saying you are, but i think you know what i am saying.
 
sending love and compassion to you, communication is vital, keep posting, we care. healing energy and love to you. jamie, male, 37.

depressed24
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 5/21/2009 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank u for ur comments. The last mail, was right about being a black sheep..... always been like that. Always the outsider, making me the different one....if  i could turn back time, i would do things very differently...
 
one thing i have learned is that, never let anyone take control of ur live.... espeaclly parents....
 
its gonna take time..... i have to think postive,to go on in life...otherwise this will kill me.
 
thank u all...love u.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 5/21/2009 4:02 PM (GMT -7)   
We are glad that you are thinking positive right now. Continue that. Maybe you aren't necessarily the black sheep. Maybe you are just unique. Try to think of it that way. It may make you happier. We are all unique in our own way and that is good.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18757
   Posted 5/21/2009 10:42 PM (GMT -7)   
yeah karen, unique, and unique people are very diverse, skilled and multi-talented!! thx karen., hugs, jamie.

depressed24
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 5/22/2009 1:45 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks...karen.

its sounds right unique...... feels right, then being the black sheep, that sounds like ur the odd one out..

 

The last couple of days i've been trying to focus on.... the postives and i'm doing ok at the moment, i just need to get out of this black whole that i'm in.

Can any advice me on what mind theapy i can do to blank the mind time to time....??

thats my biggest problem...relaxing

 

tcxx

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 5/22/2009 2:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Have you ever tried meditation? It really helps to free the mind, you can learn to not be thinking of anything. Just blank. It is good therapy. Makes you feel serrine and peaceful.

The first think you want to do is get in a comfortable position. Then you focus on relaxing your muscles from head to toe. Completely relax. Think of every muscle in your body as you go down. You will feel the tense energy coming out of your legs and the bottom of your feet.

Then once you do that. You pick a meaningless word. I chose umnellyom. As long as the word doesn't mean anything and you want it to be four syllables long. Take ten deep breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Then breathe slowly though your nose, but you can have your mouth open as it will most likely be from relaxing your jaw.

With the four syllable word, breath in on one syllable and out on another. In on the next and out on the other. Keep doing that over and over and really focus on your word and breathing. soon your mind will go blank. And you will feel totally relaxed. It takes a lot of practice. But when you practice, you are actually meditating. So it is easy to learn to do.

I hope that this helps you some. If you have anymore questions about meditation, just ask. You can also look it up on the internet and I am sure that there is some information there that will help you. This is good especially if you don't want to take medications. Eventually you will be able to do it in a short period of time. But for now, I would try sitting for at least twenty minutes.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


depressed24
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 5/22/2009 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen i cant thank you enough seriously, ur advice has really helped me. I will be trying it out, i feel in ages ithat i able breath for the good.Just getting a bit of support really makesa differents, id never relaise that before....thank u.
 
i feel i've been saved....
 
tcxx
 
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 5/22/2009 9:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I am happy that you feel that this will help you. And like I said, even if you are just practicing it, you are doing it.

Best wishes to you. I hope that you enjoy the meditation.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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