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Cowboy up
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 5/20/2009 4:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Well my wife finally got a call back for an appointment. I actually am nervous. My wife has been more pleasant to me lately . School is out but I still cant even hold her hand. She says that she gets really anxious and feels like she is going to feak out. It is so hard not to take it personally. Every day is a battle to me . I just want to hug her and cant. I actually am fighting not to be anxious myself. I keep thinking that maybe the councelor is going to tell her I am the problem. My wife told me that when she trys to sort it out logically being unhappy doesnt even make sense. Me I have put everything I have into the relationship the last three months and dont have a whole lot left. She keeps saying she would never leave even if things never got any better. I think it was Kit who said not to get caught up in the anxious kind of thinking that we will live like roomates for the rest of our lives but one day at a time is all I can do. Keep praying for me I need the encouragement . Thank you to all.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/20/2009 5:11 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning cowboy,

I am glad you got a call back for an appointment for your wife.  A good counselor will not tell your wife that you are the problem.  You posted " I keep thinking that maybe the councelor is going to tell her I am the problem. "

Counseling involves a process, the aim of which is to help others to help themselves by making better choices and becoming better choosers of options. The counselor’s repertoire of skills includes those of forming an understanding relationship, as well as interventions, focused on helping people change specific aspects of their feeling, thinking and acting.

Try not to become anxious re what your wife and the counselor will discuss and remember this is a positive step.

Take care,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Cowboy up
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 5/20/2009 5:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Kitt ,I know I shoulnt think this way . I really have tried to be perfect for 3 months but know that I am not . When we have an arguement I feel guilty because I dont want to drive her further into depression. I just cant being in a 100 percent agreement all the time .We actually had a good a good weekend . Then monday I had a rough day at work and we bickered a little when I got home. Like you said one day at a time but the people on this website have been a God sent for me . Thanks again.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/20/2009 6:39 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Cowboy,

No one person is perfect and guilt is a wasted emotion so please don't beat yourself up.  We all have feelings and all of us have rough days and could use some support.  Not knowing where to turn for it or having someone not understand is very hurtful and  sad.  I know I have been in your shoes so please know that here in HW we do understand.

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.

I wish you peace,

Kitt

 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40579
   Posted 5/20/2009 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Cowboy,

Holding hands might just be giving her some overwhelming feelings, so please don't take it personal. It sounds like she really cares even though she is going through a hard time. And it sounds like the two of you can work this out. Like as posted by Kitt, one day at a time...

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 5/21/2009 4:46 AM (GMT -7)   
very pleased, keep going, sending my luv, jamie. yeah one day at a time, me too!
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