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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 5/20/2009 8:36 PM (GMT -6)   
i have often been here...not always adding to the discussion, but what i really need is a place to talk to someone.
There isn't much of a support group for me as yet and frankly, i am nearly at the end of my rope.
As you might know, my mate is depressed and seeing many docs and taking quite a cocktail of antidepressants. Of late, i feel like i married a zombie. i don't think its so much a matter of the drugs as another direction his condition has manifested at..
He was always my best friend. Now i never know if he hears me or is just ignoring me. If there is something he wants at the end of the table he now expects me to get it for him...even if i am buisy.
I am now in the situation of working full time, doing the entirety of the house work, caring for the 11 year old and the dog and the garden.
i love them both but they vie for my undivided attention so on any given night i must spend time with one until they go to sleep and then go to the other before i can even shower.
To say the least i feel worn thin. Both important people such as the bank or school as well as friends are my responsibility to deal with as well as bills and other sundry. heck, he wont even order a pizza now.
Does anyone out there know of a way to schedule my time more efficiently. or perhaps a mantra to recite to help keep my cool?
Today i say a spider in the bathroom and instead of freaking out, i told it to run away.
What can i say, i know this is a long haul situation but i am sooooo tired.
any advise is good advice

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 5/20/2009 8:52 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't have any wonderful advice to give, but I just thought I'd say that you deserve a HUGE pat on the back for everything you're doing. Not everyone would stick by someone during this severe a depressive episode, and you are a wonderful wife for all you are doing!

I'm sure someone will come along shortly and offer advice, but for now, hang in there! I hope things improve soon! (or at least start to!)

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12; phenergan, ultram, clonazepam as needed

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 5/20/2009 9:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks that means a lot to me. i don't mean to moan. it's just the mixture of exhaustion, and missing my best friend since we were teens.
again thanks

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40391
   Posted 5/20/2009 10:26 PM (GMT -6)   
You sure do have a lot on your plate right now. I don't even have a clue how you can schedule things, I think that is going to take time until you can get into some type of routine. With everybody having demands on you, I imagine that it is hard to know what to do when. Maybe you can get them to bed earlier so that you have time to do things then. I wish you the best.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/21/2009 5:44 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear pharble

Good Morning and this is your place to vent and share with the other members so please don't feel you are "moaning"  :-)    We are here for you and we understand what you are going through.  You do have a full plate right now.  ((((((((hugs)))))))))

Please keep talking with us and let out your feelings, we will not judge but we will support you.



Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Depression,  & 
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18553
   Posted 5/21/2009 6:15 AM (GMT -6)   
dear pharbale, and what about you!! i am worried that your health is at risk, the situation from hubby is unfair and unresonable, i feel that you and hubby might get out of the house, drag him if you must, and i am a 37yr old male myself,  and talk to him about the situation, if you can still empathise and putyour point across he will take this as less of a shock.
i sense the love from you is true, he to, but he needs to do something to eliviate and manage his situation and depression. there are many ways to skin a cat, and i think you are saavy enough to come up with some ideas to spark a renewed interest in life and his partner and the 11yr old too!!!
keep posting, we care, i wish you well,

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 5/21/2009 7:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the advice, guys.
Right now i have to vent to someone.
i have gotten him to go to tai chi in the last week. it is under his old teacher of years ago which made it really hard (until the break down he had his own school of martial arts in a different town)
But alas that is during the days I work....who am i kidding as the kid says i am always at work.
i try to make time for each of them but with my job (a good job, which this is, is harder to find than horse feathers around here) and the side jobs i have to make the medical bills there aren't a lot of hours left.
Some days i feel like a single parent.
i cant talk to my friends because as hard as my life is right now, theirs are so much more dramatic and emotional. And the only family we have are his siblings (i am the last of my own family)
i fear my baby will suffer from all this, so i try so hard to deal with her need.
i keep hoping that there is some kind of way i can get it all done..........sigh

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18553
   Posted 5/21/2009 7:22 AM (GMT -6)   
yeah a rock and a hard place. any service providers that can help? your friends, even if they are having prob's dosen't mean you can't ask for a lend of an ear, esp if they are good friends
a lot on your plate, work, bills, children-i think you need to think about the overall picture of where tings are headed, pls ask for a little help-even just to have someone baby sit so you can get out and clear your thoughts a bit. luv to you, jamie
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