Parents Went to Therapy/Update

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TeNNiSd0C09
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 5/21/2009 6:40 PM (GMT -7)   
So, first, I'll start by saying that my parents went to therapy today. I waited outside and when it was over, my therapist came out and told me that they knew more than I thought and that they were more open than I knew. She told me that my mom was my number 1 fan... not sure what that means exactly but.. She said they knew a lot more now so... I would assume she told them most everything. I told her to surprise me next session and she could tell me then instead of today. We havent talked about it... they havent said anything about what they talked about so... I'll find out later.
 
Anyways, she thinks that Im bipolar. And, I would agree. Today has been one of my down days, but I knew it was coming because the last week or so has been a high for me. I have been talking excessively, laughing and joking, feeling like nothing could stop me. Yesterday I started feeling mixed, high and low. And so I knew today was coming. A huge low. No talking, not really caring, no patience, which leads to anger and frustration easily. I have pretty much figured out my mood swings. I can kind of map it out. I know when I feel really high that it will be followed by a huge low. So, my moods are all over the place.
 
I have been struggling with it. It stinks to know and to feel these changes, but not be able to control them. I have a doc appt. June 4 to see the doctor. Hope he adds a mood stabilizer. Perhaps that would help. I dont know. I just dont want to be this way anymore.
 
I have returned to old ways, some of you will understand that. I have begun turning to meds, and not in the good way. So, things have changed and not for the better. I just keep opening different doors and none of them are right. They all hold harm. I will graduate in a week. Next Friday. And I want it to be exciting. I want it to be a new chapter in my life, not more of what it has already been.
 
Well, I could go on for a while. I have a lot to say. Just to keep myself away from other things. I want to say more, but I am in a mood I just dont want to do anything. I really do want to talk more about things, but I think I am just going to get in bed early instead. I am going to talk to my teacher about it some tomorrow because I told her last week about therapy and about my new "habit". And so, I want to talk to her about it. I am also going to pay my school counselor a visit because its been months since I talked to her about things and I want to tell her about therapy(she doesnt even know) and tell her that my parents went. And just ask for some advice and encouragement. I feel I can talk to her more now without the fear of her telling my parents, since they know now... so...
 
Glad its almost Friday. A few more days of school and thats it! Graduation is right around the corner! Thanks..
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 5/21/2009 8:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Christi,

How do you feel about your parents knowing everything? I think in a way you wanted to put it all out there anyway. It will uncomplicate a lot of things. you just might not realize it at first.

I am imagining that you may want to cop out at this point, but this is where you have to stay strong and keep a clear head. I am telling you, these mood stabilizers really help. I take abilify. And it has pretty much changed my life for rhe better. I don't know how I made it without it. But we manage to survive under all different circumstances. Right???

I am glad that you can talk to your old councelor about this issues and that you feel that you can' trust her. I am glad that you do ahve some support with this. Besides us. You need a lot of support right now, and remember that the medications can be trial and error until they find what is right for you. Remember we are behind you all the way. Also as always, my email is always open.

Hugs, Kare
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 5/22/2009 6:09 AM (GMT -7)   
well done christi, on graduating and for understanding your condition better, seems some self actualisation is happening, and with your folks understanding your situation better. oh, do not assume anything.  otherwise keep with the therapy and your school counsellor. 
 
keep well, positive energy to you, jamie

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/22/2009 6:51 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello Christi,

Thank you for the update.  Congratulations on Graduation. That is just awesome news.  ((((HUGS))))

The uncertainties of the present always
give way to the enchanted possibilities of the future.
You are destined for greatness.
Enjoy your journey and remember to have fun.

 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt

TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 5/22/2009 12:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks guys!

Well, I sat outside yesterday thinking about it while they were in there with her...and I couldnt wrap my head around the idea of them knowing so much about me. I kept trying to imagine what she was saying to them. "She has cut herself in the past and is currently sturggling with pills. Etc..." I just couldnt imagine the looks on my parents faces. She came outside to invite me in and she said my parents took it well. I decided to wait and find out what she told them at my next session. I didnt want to discuss it with them.

It was a strange ride home. It felt kind of weird, yet relieving. We seemed okay. But, like, I was just trying to be myself and act like I wasnt thinking about it. They were probably doing the same thing. My dad said it was a relief for him because he had known so much more than my mom and he was glad that now she knew.

It was tense. And just strange.... Im not sure how I feel about them knowing. Kind of scared I think. They havent said what they thought and I dont know how they feel about everything so... I feel like I have to try harder now, like this was a disappointment and now I cant make it worse for them. I dont want to. But, I feel like its not my fault... I dont know. Its complicated. I really just want to act like it didnt take place and pretend that they still dont know.. its easier that way...

Well, Im going to try to talk to my teacher and counselor about it now. 2 more days of school and its over! I cant wait!
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 5/22/2009 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Christi,

I think that this is a huge milestone for you. Now you can put the past in the past and get on with life. The way that it should be. I imagine that this is a great relief for you. and I am so happy for that. Probably like a thousand pounds lifted off of your shoulder. Now you can be you. No more pretending. That is a good feeling.

I am so happy for you with graduation coming. Only a few days left of school. I hope that you can enjoy your summer as you are getting ready for college. Woo Hoo!!

I am so proud of you! We all are.

Kudos to you my friend

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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